Sun Mote Copse I wanna dream and make believe people can fly

Don't mind me, been wantin to do this for weeks pfft

After her conversation and promotion, Kiwi kept pretty well to herself for a little while.  Again - great way to start off her new role.  But she needed a little space, and she got the feeling that her mom might too.  She had Eljay now anyway.  Eljay and soon new kids and... ugh.  Kiwi wanted to be happy for her, on some level, but she'd become so used to being her mom's one rock solid thing.  She'd been fine sharing it for the move with Sequoia, but even before that, she liked feeling needed.  When all that happened with Bat, with Nomi, she'd complained and been angry to be left but she'd also in a way enjoyed how close it had made them feel.  Now she didn't feel that as much.  Mom was happy.

And pretty soon she'd be the odd one out.  What happened if the pups were born and her mom decided she was too much Drageda?  Or what if they all hated her?  What if they didn't think she was their sister because she didn't have the same dad, or grew up in a different place?  

This was the spiral she was in currently, sniffling quietly to herself under a tree in the eastern part of the territory.  She didn't want to let anyone see her crying like this (super bad for her new image) but she couldn't help it at the moment, so she'd hidden away.  With any luck no one would come by and she'd be left alone until she'd cried herself up and was ready to move on.

Unluckily for Kiwi, Colt was conveniently around.  His conversation with Niamh had set the wheels a turnin, and those wheels were cookin up thoughts he'd thought long lost to him.  This had put him in a pretty damn good mood, and even though it was cold as hell, the sun was shining and the weather was pretty nice.  Not a bad time to be wandering.

For him, at least.  He heard the sniffles and could immediately tell that someone else wasn't having quite the day he was.  Tempting to leave without saying anything, but Colt didn't shy away from at least trying to help most days.  He went towards the source of the sound, a source that revealed itself soon enough as the newly appointed Regent.

Hey kid.  What happened?

Kiwi should have known better than to hope to not be found.  Last time it had been her mom who found her, this time it was Colt, and both times she'd been trying to hide out under roots.  Maybe she needed to find a better spot.

I'm not a kid, she answered darkly, extricating herself from the tangle as she tried to hide the fact that she was crying.  She stood as tall as she could and aggressively forward, though her height didn't nearly match his.  She was one of his leaders now and that meant he had to respect her.  If he had a problem with it then she'd just have to prove it.

Shit, you're all kids to me. He said, clearly amused both by her demeanor and her obvious attempt at pulling rank.  He'd heard the announcement and knew she had been positioned as second, but hierarchies and posturing had never really been Colt's thing.  Couldn't hurt to give her a win though seein as she was clearly goin through some kinda shit.

He gave a little dip, enough to hopefully mollify her, then went back to casually standing.  Look, I'm not tryin to get in your business or anything.  But if you want to talk about it, I don't mind listening.  He sat down and shrugged.  Her call.

That didn't make it any better, but she didn't have the energy to argue about it.  He deferred and that was what mattered. Of all the wolves here, Kiwi had seen him coming in as the biggest threat to her leadership spot.  He was older and bigger and she'd thought... but thankfully not.

She continued to stare at him and debated.  She didn't want to talk about it, but she kinda needed to with someone other than her mom.  She hadn't felt any resolution from their talk, and instead it had made her feel worse.  Was she crazy for feeling this way? For making her mom feel so bad?  She didn't think so, and even if she was, she couldn't help it.  

My mom is gonna have more kids. With Eljay. She wrinkled her nose.  I don't want more brothers and sisters.  We don't need any, and if they grow up here, what if they don't like me because I grew up there?  And Eljay isn't strong like Nomi is.  So I don't need a new family with him.  Her voice grew tighter and quicker as the words rushed out of her, and they took on a bit of a pleading edge towards the end.  Someone had to agree, or at least not act like she was awful for feeling this.  Or maybe she was awful.

Okay, so it was a family thing.  Obviously the kid had jealousy issues, from what he could tell, but the comments about Eljay made Colt a little defensive.  He couldn't say she was wrong; his nephew had some issues, to put it delicately.  But this was the first the uncle was hearing of kids (and with the lead, go Eljay, fuck yeah) and Colt wasn't about to let her write him off like that.

You know that's my nephew, right? he asked in semi amused tone, appraising her.  I don't know what the hell a nomi is but I do know Eljay's done a shit ton of pup raising.  He's gonna make a hell of a dad.  Yeah no Eljay wasn't the problem here.  But now he felt like he owed it to him to find out what was, because letting Wildfire's daughter toss shit in this new deal Eljay and her mom had goin wasn't on his docket.

Who said anything about a new family, anyway?  You know, normal family doesn't give a shit where you came from or how you end up.  All those kids are gonna see is a big sis who can help them get into all manner of trouble.  Believe me.  Heaven knows he had more than enough of his own bad influences growing up.  As an aside - was she old enough for 'shit' to be thrown around? Eh, maybe not, but too late now.

Kiwi gave a short little growl when Colt pointed out that Eljay was his famiy.  It wasn't the fact that he'd disagreed, because she didn't really care who Eljay was to him.  It was the tone he'd said it with.  She felt like he was laughing at her, which in her current state she definitely did not like.

You don't know anything, she answered somewhat caustically, her ears flattening back.  It's gonna be a new family.  Mom said she wanted a chance to try again.  At this her voice got tighter.  She said she didn't want to raise them like home.  I liked home.  I thought- she started, then remembered who she was talking to.  You can't tell mom ok?  Her voice got it's fierce edge back, and she stood straighter, more forward.  She probably didn't look that threatening, but she'd definitely kick his ass if he told her mom what she wanted to talk about.

Colt's ears pushed forward with surprise, but he was definitely skeptical as she explained more.  He'd met Wildfire, and heard her talk about her kids.  There was no way she had said what Kiwi said she'd said and meant it that way.  He had no clue what their old home was like, but he understood being glad to get clear of a place.  Seems mom and daughter might not be on the same page though.  That made him a little iffy on her leadership potential here, but hey, did Colt really care about that anyway?

Swear, cross my heart. He did the cross and zipped his lips with a paw, brow lifted curiously.  He meant it; promises were a serious thing for the Blackthorn.  Unless it was something Wildfire needed to know, he'd keep confidence.  Sides, he wasn't interested in getting himself booted from here too by the world's smallest Beta.

She continued to glare at him for an extra minute, not entirely sure he was being honest.  He seemed honest.  You better. She said finally, relaxing only a bit.  Then she looked down, because she still wasn't one hundred percent sold on telling him, but this was her best shot to tell someone who she felt wouldn't care.  I thought we'd go back.  I didn't think leaving meant I couldn't go back.  Her voice was slightly forlorn.  I just made Hompleia.  Aartax was training me.  I.. she almost said that she had wanted to take Nomi's place, but he didn't really need to know that much.  I'm glad I came with most of the time, but I miss home.  There.  She'd said it.  Her eyes began to fill up as she thought of her siblings, and Nomi, and everyone they left behind.  Sometimes she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if she'd stayed.

This was a secret Colt could definitely keep, and he no longer questioned why she didn't want her mom to know.  He imagined it could be hard letting a parent know you weren't as stoked as they are about a change.  He also didn't doubt Wildfire had sussed that out herself without his help, but Kiwi seemed to think she'd been pretty secret about it, so who knew.  She was still pretty much a kid.

And now you're.. shit what was her title?  If there was anytime not to screw it up for emphasis, this was it.  Regent here.  From what I hear, if your family doesn't want you dropping by, then that's their loss.  Real family doesn't ditch each other just because their paths take different turns.  He put a lot more weight behind that than he had in any of the conversation so far; it was easy to feel conviction on this subject because it was something he was hella opinionated about.  Fin and I didn't talk for years, and yet here we are.  If it's worth it, then it will work out.  And if it isn't?  Then there's nothing wrong with adding new family.  He shrugged.  You don't have to toss out everything you had before just because you get something new.

She did perk up a bit when he mentioned her new title, and the urge to cry lessened a bit.  She was immensely proud of it, and there was no way she'd have been anywhere near it if she'd stayed home.  She knew she probably wouldn't have even been first choice for anything - not with Artaax and Blixen around.  And the mention about it being their loss stroked her ego, helping even more.

I just don't get why she even wants more kids. Kiwi grumbled, but it was halfhearted, and it was obvious the fight was leaving her.  She'd been so sure when she left that she was doing the right thing, but Bat's death and this deal with her mom had left her scrambling and feeling like she was going to lose the only family she still had left.

This time Colt couldn't contain it, and he did outright laugh when she made the final comment.  You'll figure that out soon enough, kid. He said, still chuckling.  Of course she didn't get it now, but when (Colt didn't have the capacity to think "if") the time came that she was ready, she'd definitely look back and understand. 

Think about it.  Puppies make a pack stronger.  And it'll be our job to teach them how things work.  He gave her a signifigant look.  No offense to Eljay, but if the kids were going to learn to defend themselves, he probably wouldn't be the one to teach.  They were definitely going to have the shit loved out of them though.  Especially you, being their big sister and all.  C'mon kid.  If Colt couldn't get her at least a little excited about them for Eljay's sake, he was going to be pretty disappointed.  She was a tough nut to crack, but he could feel her giving, and put a little more pressure on.  Slowly.

The hair along her spine rose as he laughed, but this time she didn't growl.  It felt less like he was laughing at her, but she still didn't like it, and wasn't one hundred percent positive how she felt about Colt.  On one hand, a lot of what he said made sense.  But on the other hand, he didn't really seem to defer much, and she'd have liked it if he stopped calling her kid.  She settled on a sort of accepting annoyance.

Yeah.  She thought on that for a minute.  Wildfire had said she wanted to try raising these kids outside of Drageda, but Kiwi still wasn't convinced home didn't have some good about it.  Just because they weren't there didn't mean she couldn't teach them something about it.  She'd been doing so much learning, she hadn't even thought about how good it might be to have someone to teach instead.  Wildfire might have even said it, back when they argued, but she'd been too stuck in her head to realize.  I guess so.  She wasn't about to give him the benefit of smiling, but her tail did lift some, and her eyes lit up with the prospect of it.  She could teach them so many things.  And even with Eljay as a dad, they were gonna be the most awesome pups ever because she was going to help them get there.

And ding, there we go.  The winning argument was clear from the change in her expression, and Colt gave himself a silent pat on the back.  Not half bad.  Alright then.  Well, if we're good here, I'm about to go check out the borders.  If you want to come.  He didn't quite phrase it as a question because he was expecting a no, but instead she fell in step next to him.

What followed was a veritable pumping of information, but one he weathered patiently.  She seemed keen on knowing everything there was to know about places he'd been, and since he didn't mind too much talking about himself, he shared what he remembered (and what was appropriate).  Especially about the Blackthorn home, which felt honestly rather similar to here with the open door policy.  Good talk.