Stone Circle The Question

mild PP if that's ok <3 can take place before the ilkisis thread if that helps!

marten kept low in easthollow. he had his mother, his aunt, his nephews... there was no good reason to extend his life beyond those wolves. valette was nice, and very good at sharing history about his extended family, but marten held little interest in wolves who were not indra. even today, he struggled to find the same loyalty he felt for indra, for laurel. she was not his mother, and he strained to find the good in her that his mother saw. she was a pessimist. marten did not understand pessimism. he remembered, quite unfondly, the time that laurel had dismissed something that seemed to be so important to valette. valette was quite polite about it, but marten would never belittle something that seemed to hold value to another... what was the point? it seemed only rude... still, he kept this to himself.

he was studying, quietly, herbs and plants -- where they grew, how they grew, sometimes he tried them to see how they'd make him react. once, he'd eaten a plant with tiny black seeds. he'd waited around a moment, and the next thing he knew it was sundown. he wasn't sure what had happened, but he chalked it up to be the plant or those seeds. he stayed away from it, but he ventured to say that they probably held some sort of value. today, he abandoned his self studies to check up on @Indra, carrying a fat hare in his jaws. 

he spotted her resting by the stones that valette had told him about, and the yearling grew excited as he came closer. he let out a chuff through the fur of the rabbit, trotting close and dropping it at her feet. he leaned down and pressed his forehead to his mothers before the boy took his place across from her, looking at her quite expectantly today. i wanted to talk to you today, mama, he said with a flick of an ear and a few blinks of his bright eyes.

<3 thank you for starting!

indra had spent too much time at the stones as of late. she was troubled, moreso than usual -- for dark tidings had come to easthollow.

first in the form of that monster, which she would not give life to by naming. he was dead, now -- and that's all that mattered.

but even still, his children were here.. and indra hated them, loved them, was disgusted by them. setting herself against the broken stone that demarked where she often visited and thought of @Merrick, indra sighed forlornly and wondered what good had come out of their lives recently.

and then that good came trotting towards her -- in the form of her unfailing, remaining son. indra spared a fond smile marten's way, looking up from the broken boulder with her expression cleared of its previous melancholy. marten was a rare light for her -- in that his optimism often chased her demons away: once before, she had compared the soft-furred boy to a little flame, darting here and there and banishing the darker thoughts that lingered in her mind.

"hello, marten." indra replied, standing upright and tilting her head. he had come to talk to her -- but what about?

the boy tucked his feet beneath his chest as indra looked at him rather expectantly -- he wondered if his wording sounded too serious. he sent a bashful smile her way, tail tapping against the grass beneath the stone, and said, i just wanted to check in on you. there was a lot happening that marten just... couldn't understand. i mean, he did, he understood what had happened, but he couldn't understand how on this earth someone could be so... evil. but he was not that naive, he knew that life was not perfect. indra would've raised him wrong for him to believe otherwise. 

his expression sobered, but only out of respect -- he did not come to dance and laugh, it was not up for him to set the mood, and he could not force anyone to be happy with all that had been going on. how are you doing? he asked, and then glanced to the rabbit he'd brought her, have you eaten?

marten was far sweeter than any fruit set forth from indra's womb; as she watched him with love dancing in her gaze, she knew it -- he was pure for reasons other than her and laurel. they were a cursed lot, sorry as any soul on this earth -- and bound, she thought, to experience nothing but sorrow.

but marten was not a sorrow in indra's life, but a joy; she smiled in response to his own, the softness in her gaze reserved only for him. "i'm fine - and no, i haven't eaten yet." indra stated -- her tone suggesting she would say nothing to the contrary, and that her answer would be the end of such questioning business. "how are you? settling in here?" she had almost said home, but caught herself -- would she and laurel ever have a place truly home to them?

i'll stop nagging, purled the yearling as he reached to nuzzle the fur of his mothers neck. he pulled back after, giving her some space, and then gave a few general shrugs and head movements to suggest he had no real opinions. settled enough, he shared with a small smile, i like the stones here, i don't think laurel cares for them, but they seem to be important to a lot of wolves. that was about the closest thing to a connection that he'd come across... otherwise, indra was the only thing that truly rooted him here. i like that family is important, he added with a smile. 

oh, to that note, marten found himself with a question that he hadn't realized he'd had. it'd nagged him once or twice... though not often enough for it to be a pressing issue. but now... as he sat before indra, he felt it press against the back of his throat, begging to be asked. his brow furrowed, gently, but he kept quiet -- he didn't want to interrupt their conversation.

indra pressed gently against marten's nudge, her features softer now. she could eat later -- if marten would allow -- but for now she could tell something hung in the air yet unsaid. the stones marten mentioned indra was fond of too, but somehow she did not believe this was the root of his discomfiture. the way marten's expression changed, how he almost seemed to fret -- indra would be a poor mother if she did not recognize the shift in his disposition.

"i like that too," indra replied softly, hiding the sorrow in her voice. family -- it was all she wanted -- and yet, whatever order above seemed hellbent on ripping her family to tatters. "what is it, marten?"

a gentle sigh, disappointed he'd let his mother see his dissatisfaction. he didn't want to worry her... it's... a little stupid, he prefaced with a small smile, ears flicking. it seemed to have built upon him after all this time, though, so it couldn't have been that stupid after all. ah, but marten knew his problems were so much smaller than indra and laurel's problems. on the grand scheme of things, his was hardly an itch. 

and it's a few things, actually, he began, brow furrowing as he thought his words out carefully, but.. i think the one that's weighed most heavily upon my shoulders. he shifted where he laid, his paws folding as if he was concealing more of himself from her... a gentle sigh, and another soft shrug. do you think... that i'll become him, one day? he asked, gaze upon indra with a bit of sorrow, i... think he was nice to me, but i know he hurt you and laurel... and probably my birth mother. marten didn't say his name, but he knew indra would understand.  

every wolf here has known who i was without even knowing me. he thought back to arlette, who had been so thrilled to see someone with the same amber gaze. and though it was somewhat exciting to find new family, it only reminded marten that he wasn't actually indra's. he was xan's. and a woman who left so early he couldn't even remember her. if so much of that ran through his blood -- how could he be destined for anything besides that?

indra listened on, indefatigably patient. she was not expecting the question that came -- surprise slipped across her features, and her eyes had a new sharpness to them as she looked upon marten. the notion -- the very idea -- of marten ending up like xan had never occurred to her. how very endearing it was of children, to look upon the world with perspectives most adults lacked.

indra turned the question[s] over in her mind, her response weighted. "what -- no." indra frowned, taken aback and wanting no part in seeing marten ever become him. she wanted to tell him it would be okay, that it would never happen, but she knew better, didn't she?

how many times had she sworn she would never be like her parents? how many times had she cursed reek and saena's names, vowing never to leave her children behind, vowing she would never fade in and out of their lives like a weak current..?

and where was merrick today, indra? that ugly voice in her head seemed to sneer invisibly, victoriously. had she spent her whole life lying to herself, too?

"you'll only become him if you want to be like him." indra answered lamely, her positioning softening. "he didn't mean any of what he did. your father might suck, but he is not malicious. i see little of him in you, marten." indra smiled encouragingly, despite a sorrow that pulled at her heart in that moment.

marten's ears flicked as he listened. his mama seemed reassuring, but he caught the fault in her words. if he didn't know what he was doing, who's to stay i won't accidentally do the same thing? he asked her with a frown, his brow deepening as he searched his features. knowing that he'd made indra upset, or at least caught her off guard, the yearling shook his head. we don't have to talk about it, he told her gently, lips curving upwards in the softest of smiles, that's just... what's been bothering me lately, is all. i think pain is inevitable, and the world is always going to do cruel things, i just never want to be someones reason for suffering... like my dad is for you. 

his ears flicked and his shoulders rolled and his nose twitched as he thought about it a little further. it's weird being related to everyone at this place, he added, grin deepening, i think that's just what brought it about.

---

indra's umber gaze softened. was there anything in the world she loved as much as marten? he was so sweet, so pure -- and so not of her own it hurt any time she looked upon him and remembered his origins were of a less blackened place.

she pulled him close with a hug, ready to move on and yet, willing to be participant t that moment. it is inevitable, but we'll always have each other. she nudged him affectionately and smiled, breathing in the crisp scent of the wildwood and the comforting smell of loam and earth. home.