Redhawk Caldera fading away

Every day seemed more difficult than the last. Every day, Eljay thought he could feel no worse and be no more useless, but he did feel worse every day. He barely played with his siblings anymore. He spent a lot of time at the borders, just staring, and when he wasn't doing that he'd be elsewhere, staring, fading away. His fur looked dull and unkempt and his ribs were starting to show; not a good sign, with winter in tow.

Unmoving he lay at the rendezvous site today, just staring into the distance as though hoping that he would see Finley approach. He'd barely registered the news of Uncle P's death. He'd cried when he was told by daddy. And then he continued to stare. He looked number each day yet felt so much more each day. Some days the pain he felt was too much to handle, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He would cry only when he was alone or confronted with himself, trying to find some sort of outlet, but still the feels kept piling up.

Watery eyes stared into the distance and so many thoughts and memories passed his mind, and yet he thought of so little substantial at the same time. He felt like he was fading away slowly, and hunger raged in his stomach — but he knew he wouldn't be able to swallow anything because of the giant lump in his throat whenever he thought of mommy.

maybe @Raven ? c: