Ankyra Sound the long way round

Emotion-filled eyes lingered pleadingly on the Heda, but she seemed unswayable. He hadn't left because of the size of Redhawk Caldera, of course, and looking at how miserably he was failing, Eljay thought maybe he shouldn't have left at all. Of course no other pack wanted him. But the fact that he couldn't find another pack that wanted him in their midst only confirmed that he couldn't and shouldn't be with Redhawk Caldera, either. If that meant that he should starve out here in the wilds, then so be it... But he couldn't keep stealing from the Caldera by being in the way around every corner. Then he would rather be dead.

While he thought of all of this, death was still not a very pleasing subject and the fact it would be caused by his own failure only added onto this. He looked at Wildfire pleadingly, wishing that there were anything more that she could do, but she was only a follower in this pack too, he thought, so it seemed there wasn't much more that could be done.

And with the terms of the acceptance laid down, Eljay knew he could never fulfil them. It was like asking a fish to climb a tree to ask him to prove himself while being outside of the pack and away from every single thing he could prove useful in. He wouldn't be able to hunt in the group hunts and he'd not be around the pups or anyone that was pregnant either to assist them.

His heart sank to his toes and he looked at Wildfire while his breath came out in rapid squeezes. He tried to stave off the panic attack for as long as he could, at least until the Heda went away. The moment seemed to last an eternity, and he couldn't wait until she was gone so that he could fully let the gravity of his predicament settle in and break down.