Redhawk Caldera the old days

Things felt so different between them now. Raven had spent time teaching him about herbs before, when the pups had been born and when Eljay had been interested in becoming a midwife -- he still was -- but now it felt like they were strangers. It made him feel uncomfortable and sad, knowing that Raven had been one of the wolves who had made sure he ate when mommy was gone to look for Lucy, one of the reasons that he was alive at all and one of the wolves he'd spent a lot of time with caring for Peregrine and Fox' last litter, and now it was as if she didn't even know him at all; and he her.

Her question was valid and Eljay uncomfortably murmured, "I can't, I have to get better first. I'd just be in the way." He knew his parents loved him and that they wanted him near -- or at least they'd said so -- but things were just not that simple. He'd still be useless if he would stay only for that reason, and he didn't want to be useless or a bother anymore. He wanted to get better. Better at life, better at everything, anything, something. He couldn't come back right now, although he might've had Wildfire asked him to stay — it was for a part for her that he'd ended up in Drageda to start with, and he hoped she could return soon too.