Bearclaw Valley I’m your toy, I’m your toy, I’m your toy

indra was aware she was being irrational, and it only made her dig her heels deeper into the earth. she had made her flaming bed -- might as well watch it spectacularly sink into charred nothingness.

she didn't know what to say. she barely knew what sex was -- she just knew it was all guys thought about and thought, maybe, if she obliged with them, it might validate her -- it might heighten her station of importance in their eyes. if only she knew the bitter truth -- that a woman was nothing to most men but a soft pile to lie and drive on -- then she might not even have tried.

but xan tried -- and indra knew he was trying. there was an earnest in his voice, a genuine inflection she could not ignore. she refused to be softened this time, and was still nursing her bruised ego when she replied. "no, you'd just rather have..... her." indra didn't even know her name - she just knew that somehow, she presented as a threat to both laurel and indra. indra didn't even know why she was so upset - before a week ago, she hadn't even cared -- but now she was driven by something out of her control and that something demanded satiation.

no sooner had she thrown the barbed remark did she become aware of how unnecessarily cruel it was -- but it was too late for her to turn back. she thought of the last things she had said to her father reek - and how, like xan, he had driven her to say things she now regretted. "i need to go for a walk." she announced, already turning away from him with hurried anxiety in her steps.