Blacktail Deer Plateau chicken noodle soup

Elixir's attack hadn't happened here; that was a small comfort at least. But Rue still couldn't understand why she hadn't been warned about the attacker earlier. She had done quite a bit of traveling in the mountains since arriving at Blacktail Deer Plateau. Elixir said that she felt safe here, but Rue wondered if that was really so. By her own admission, she was often still up and about long after the others went to sleep. "I still think we should spread the word.  If you're okay with that, of course. If we get his description out there, it might save someone else from going through the same thing..." Rue's features darkened as she trailed off. That was a thought that haunted her often-- now that she had departed Red Fern Grove, had Sjorn turned his attention to some other helpless young female? 

Elixir prompted Rue to share, and she shifted uncomfortably. "Mine was different.. I-.. It-.. had been coming for a long time. It was really my fault, I should have done more to stop it." Rue was shaking noticably as she stammered out all of the guilty thoughts that had been churning in her mind since the attack. Elixir had been attacked out of the blue-- that was understandable. People could sympathize with that. Rue had been courted by her attacker for months. Maybe if she had been less.. less nice, or naive, or something... if she had done something differently, maybe everything wouldn't have turned out so badly. 

Rue swallowed. "I was supposed to love him, but I couldn't. I don't know what was wrong with me. Lots of girls liked him, and he was nice enough. At first." Rue's gaze dropped to her paws in shame. For her entire life she had done everything that was asked of her, no problem. She had tried to love Sjorn, she really had, but that had probably only served to confuse the man. That was why he attacked her, of course-- because he was confused. It was all Rue's fault, for leading him on. 

"He didn't like hearing no, and after I kept saying it, he.. wasn't so nice anymore." Rue's voice was getting smaller as she spoke. "There was one night that he tried to.. um, to make me love him. And I got really scared and tried to get away, and... I accidentally hurt him. Really bad." This was Rue's deepest shame. She had permanently injured a man who was a valuable to her pack, much more valuable than Rue herself. In hurting Sjorn she had hurt Red Fern Grove, and she wondered if she would ever be able to forgive herself for that.

"My pack exiled me, of course." Rue paused for a beat, and then she met Elixir's gaze suddenly. "Please don't tell Liri and Kavik. It was an accident, and I--" Rue's voice caught up as she attempted to stifle a sob. If the alphas of Blacktail Deer Plateau ever learned of what she had done in Red Fern Grove, they would surely cast her out as well. She couldn't stand the thought of losing another home. Silent tears poured down the young woman's face, and she bit her lip to hold back her sobs.