Heron Lake Plateau searching

Ever since the falling stars, Eljay had felt weird. He felt really happy being with Raven and Quixote's children but something had changed, too. A longing had started to fill him, a desire to become a father himself. Eljay knew it was a silly kind of longing because he did not even have a mate and he wasn't so sure that he ever would. He didn't remember ever being in love. It seemed something others had but not something for him. After all, shouldn't it already have happened if such a thing was meant to happen? But his longing to be a real father to his own children remained and he did not know what to do with the feelings. He adored Raven and Quixote's bunch and so it filled him with guilt that he wanted more than just that.

Eljay hoped to find @Finley or @Elwood around somewhere. Maybe he just needed to talk to someone and it would all be okay again after that. He wondered if they were having more pups next year, though it seemed to go without saying that they would indeed. The late afternoon was cold and cloudy as Eljay sought through the territories. His heart ached as he tried to navigate, still missing Redhawk Caldera dearly. It just wasn't the same here; it just wasn't home for him yet, and he was unsure it ever would be.