Redhawk Caldera It doesn't match your face

Weejay hit right where it hurt. Eljay didn't really want to think about the necessity of choosing between Maia or Redhawk Caldera. It felt like an impossible choice to him. He wasn't sure that he would be as happy if he chose following Maia and raised children elsewhere than here. He wanted to be with her, yes, but he also really wanted to keep Redhawk Caldera. The thought of leaving it alone just made him feel anxious to the core and he wasn't so sure he could make the right decision when it came to him. That frightened him, because he imagined being lonely and alone by the time he was old, sitting here by his parents' den and wishing that he was with Maia instead. But the other way around, he also feared that he would be unhappy if he did follow and left Redhawk Caldera for good. It seemed these kind of choices were always bigger choices than they initially seemed. They felt very... for-now-and-ever, to Eljay.

He grew silent, unsure how to respond. Weejay's words were wise, but they also hit him right in a painful place, and it was visible on his face. It was hard to choose. He wished he knew what Weejay wanted in all this, because factoring that in might make the decision easier. If she wanted to travel or see other places, then going with Maia would be a good choice, and if she rather wanted to learn about Redhawk Caldera, then maybe it would not be. At the same time he wasn't sure this was a decision he should let his daughter make for him.

He remained silent, seemingly lost in thought, though his breathing remained steady to indicate that he wasn't having a panic attack over it.

He just didn't know, and that was terrifying. One moment he would beat himself up over even considering picking Redhawk Caldera over Maia, but another moment he thought of a life without Redhawk Caldera and it felt empty and cold. A life without Maia would feel just the same, though. It was like having found something really special and then having to let it go. It felt that way towards both Maia and the Caldera. And either way, he could not figure out, would it be worth it to give up? Rather, the answer in both cases was no. He wanted both, with all his heart.

Yet he knew that Weejay's words were truth and that he might not get that option to choose from.