Broken Antler Fen half of my heart

he's searching for @Penn, but all welcome <3

The wringing feeling that constricted his heart and tired his brain and his body both remained over his first week in Brecheliant. He had hoped that it'd quiet down eventually, with enough sleep, but every time he thought of what he had left behind at Redhawk Caldera his heart was in his throat, making it hard to breathe. It wasn't longing or homesickness that constricted him, though; it was guilt and the heavy feeling of responsibility weighing on his shoulders. He was responsible for them and their children; if anything went wrong it would be on him. That was a hard burden for him to carry, and no matter how much he slept, it continued to weigh him down. Eljay didn't realise that the only thing that could fix it was a mental switch, not a physical one.

That day he left the napping spot and decided to look around the territory a bit. Not because he wanted to discover more of the Fen necessarily, but mostly because thinking about Penn kept him busy. He hadn't seen Penn proper since their parents had died. Because he'd spent so much of Penn's youth being depressed and crushed over Wildfire's death and trying to raise his children on his own Eljay hadn't bonded with Penn as much as he would've liked. Not as much as some of his other younger siblings. He was determined to make up for that, though, and being in the same pack was a good start, he hoped.