Lion Head Mesa noctilucent

idk what this is aside from rambling

nazli fell to obedience now, her spirit too withered to fight, as if she ever had the inclination to begin with. she wanted things to be different.she moved to the bedside and then carefully settled upon the furs there, close enough to be respectful of the pharaoh. just shy of touching, as if to do so would invite wrath, or be somehow taboo. nazli knew that the whims of any pharaoh could not be ignored; but it was hard to see makono in this new way. she could not help but compare makono to her father, and thinking of ramesses was... confusing.

makono spoke. the tone of her voice was enough to make nazli's mouth run dry, and her ears trembled but they did not fall back in a slant, more likely frozen in place, nervous to do anything. what if she reacted without thinking? what if some little thing, a breath or a blink, was read in the wrong way? she did not like how afraid she was.

i... she was breathless, unsure, frozen. whatever you... ask of me, pharaoh, i will do it. it felt worse now than with ramesses! at least with him, nazli understood her place, and their relationship. the balance of power. the girl was conflicted: here was makono, once her greatest friend and ally, transcended now. they were not friends - if anything, nazli was sorely aware of their immense differences. one at the top, one at the bottom.

and whatever grew now inside of her, stuck between.

tavina has medicines. i'm sure i can... find the more volatile ones. if that is your wish. i could, i could -- she didn't want to say end it, but it was implied, as she struggled. either to cleanse what nested now in her womb or, if the pharaoh willed it, nazli would go further and let herself go. what use was one lilac to the brightly-burning godhead? better to let it wilt. at the same time, nazli wondered if the very idea of death to the unborn would be considered treasonous; they would be princes and princesses, certainly? rivals to not just makono, but to siptah, to toula.

nazli blinked rapidly and stared empty-eyed at the furs around her. she saw how her own cautious breaths made the hairs tremble, and said nothing further.