Hushed Willows no skin like the skin you woke up in

for april's theme of creation, loosely interpreted; names are creations, too.

when his eyes open that day, he knows. for a few moments he lay in his marriage bed, entwined around @Olive and @Seabreeze, letting the feeling of knowing hold him steadfast. this is not the catastrophe of knowledge he has felt before -- it is as gentle and undeniable as the hint of salt that still clings to seabreeze's coat, even after all this time. 

after some time he at last withdraws from his wives, his feet leading him to some final destination he doesn't know yet. olive's spiritualities have rubbed off well on him, for he finds himself at the base of the willow tree she'd placed their gift from moonspear. a twinge of guilt distracts him momentarily as his eyes land on the strange rock -- where had he been during their last few festivals? alone and sulking, or otherwise unhelpful -- but he pauses the thought. olive and seabreeze do not hold him in contempt for his discrepancies, and he doubts he is even known enough amongst the rest of their wolves to mind.

all of this, he can forgive himself of.

and so lowering himself, he leans in close and breathes his name into the stone, abandoning, with it, the weight of his past sins, the burden of his history. for so long he'd chased history, afraid that without it, he'd wither into nothing. but he can hold history without it consuming him. he is not going to fall apart here.

nameless for the moment, he pulls back and lets himself take it in, the lack now defining him. it feels good, and for a moment, he contemplates letting himself stay nameless -- but is quick to dismiss that. it would only be another form of running away, and what he is doing here isn't erasing, it is creating. there is already a new name for him, one he's picked secretly and held close without daring to speak it into reality, until today. he'll need to tell brilliance, and olive and seabreeze, of course -- but there is no hurry in this. they will accept him as he is, and the rest will follow. he is sure of this.