Neverwinter Forest and the wind, whispering soft lullabies

He leaned into her, and when she pulled away and said what she wished to, a nervous little half-laugh rose from his throat. He tells her it wasn't what he'd expected to hear- and she snorted without meaning to, considering the fact that she had not expected... any of this. After the nervousness seemed to fade a little came the touch of Mal's kiss; instinctively Huā drew back into herself like a turtle- not meaning to be rude, and not even wholly avoiding the contact successfully- but feeling so awkward in these moments. 

I want to make you happy. But I'm really good at messing stuff up.

Probably I more than you mess stuff up, She laughed with a ashamed shake of her head. When he spoke of life goal, she thought to herself, of course none would seek to ruin things. But on a more serious note, she was not sure what Mal wanted in life. That had to be important, right? But I want make you happy too. 

She wasn't even completely sure what her ideal life looked like. When she was young it had been perfect: an arranged marriage to a nobleman's son, being a good wife, bearing his children, teaching her sons to be well-behaved and raising a good family, living out a quiet life within the den. Want to make the universe laugh? Tell it your plans. Her visions for her future were thrown down the drain last spring when everything went to shit- the betrayal, fleeing her homeland, coming here and birthing a man's bastard litter, unmarried. Things would never be the way she imagined them. At a time it had been terrible, now she saw it as an opportunity to open new doors; these were not the doors she had known her whole life, though, and she was unsure which ones drew her the most. 

Mal admitted he had no idea what he was doing... but neither did she, truly. The issue with a language hurdle was that Huā occasionally took things too literally, and so at his last words, she scrunched her brows. I do not know what I am doing, either... maybe we both learn... together? And, ah- what I would like? What do you mean? She questioned with a curious cant of her head. Was this about relationships? Or parenting?