Panther Park I can't escape you
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Ooc — Zina
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#5
Taikon listened. It was one of the things he knew how to do, and he was thankful that finally, she seemed okay with talking to him. As she spoke of her father, he was reminded of his own issues with his mother. Seeking approval from her had caused him serious issues, especially since her values had never matched his. As Takiyok described her flaws, he nodded, having a much better understanding of why she had been so nasty when he had allowed Zephyr to potentially compromise their journey. He breathed as she apologized, having been that whatever she was going to say was a lot worse than an apology. It's okay, he said, giving her a small, strained smile. It had been quite difficult for him to deal with the anger she had directed toward him, but it was comforting to know that it had happened out of fear, and a lack of safety. He understood.
Takiyok went on, citing that she felt quite protective over him. He opened his mouth to speak, to tell her that she didn't need to worry about him. He had survived far worse than everything they had been through, and somehow had turned out okay. But Takiyok went on, and he didn't feel right interrupting her.
And as her heart pounded, she transferred a painful energy to him, and his throat dried up, and his chest was heavy, and he had to take a shuddering breath and remind himself how to breathe. He stopped walking, standing there, looking in front of him while she looked on. His head spun as he realized at once that she was so bothered because indeed, she had seen the way he looked at Zephyr. She'd seen it, and it bothered her because she wanted more.
Finally, he looked at her, found her eyes. They blazed, and it cut him. Taki... I... He took another breath, feeling scared. He looked away for a moment so he could think of what to say. You are one of the most incredible people I've ever met, and it's been hell to get here, but I wouldn't have picked anyone else to do it with if I had a do-over, he said, and felt himself start to shiver. He shifted on his feet, rolling his shoulders, stressed.
This...might not make sense. Zephyr is... different, to me, he said, and quickly clarified, but that doesn't mean we can't be more. I mean — I don't know.. how to make it make sense. I'm... there's something really wrong with me, he panicked, and had to sit down and stare between his feet. His breath started to speed up.
It's always been really hard for me to feel... to look at a woman, or a man, and want... I'm not normal. He shook his head. It was all weighing on him. He remembered why he had been exiled. He remembered Cella. He remembered the disgusted looks on all their faces. Afraid of the wound he was opening, he shifted the subject, and looked up at her, his eyes pleading. When you hit your head, I was fucking terrified that was it. That you weren't going to wake up, and I wouldn't have you in my life anymore, and I wouldn't be able to see you have kids again, and it... His mouth opened, but no words came. He thought of her there, motionless. He remembered how scared he was that one more rattled breath would be her last. Look I'm fucked up, and I can't feel attraction the way other people do. He knew she wouldn't understand why he could feel like that for Zephyr.
But he was scared.
And he didn't know how to tell her he loved her.
relatively thin from illness (Apr 13, 2020)
Messages In This Thread
I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 02, 2020, 10:48 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 02, 2020, 03:19 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 02, 2020, 03:36 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 02, 2020, 09:18 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 02, 2020, 09:45 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 02, 2020, 11:01 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 02, 2020, 11:21 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 02, 2020, 11:57 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 03, 2020, 12:12 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Zephyr - December 03, 2020, 12:23 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 03, 2020, 12:48 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 03, 2020, 01:12 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 03, 2020, 01:44 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 03, 2020, 02:05 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 03, 2020, 02:45 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 03, 2020, 11:49 AM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 03, 2020, 01:41 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 03, 2020, 02:08 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 03, 2020, 07:28 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 03, 2020, 10:19 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Takiyok - December 03, 2020, 11:57 PM
RE: I can't escape you - by Taikon - December 04, 2020, 12:23 AM