Redhawk Caldera you can make me whole again

tags are for reference :)

Every day seemed to grow worse than the last. Eljay tried to take care of @Liffey and @Lagan to help daddy @Elwood , but it was just so hard to get by. Every day that mommy @Finley was gone, he felt his hope dwindle further that she would ever return; and he felt his heart plummet and tear at the seams. He wasn't sure how much more tearing it could take before it would be torn into a million unrecollectable pieces. He seemed to sink further into his mind, feeling depraved of energy to do anything. In turn, not contributing made Eljay feel even worse; he was just a mooch, and his fear of being thrown from the pack by @Peregrine or @Fox grew with each day. Some days he managed to be more productive, do something, but most days he spent laying around, or making half-hearted attempts at hunting — which almost always failed — or looking after his siblings.

Today he was doing the former, trying to hunt something; anything, so that he could feel like not-a-complete-mooch. Yet it was hard to get his feet into motion at all, to motivate his body to cooperate because his mind had sunken so deep into a pit. He tried to sniff out some scent tracks around the afternoon, hoping to find at least a wounded critter or something like that. But the hope was nothing compared to the turmoil in his mind, the feeling that a part of him had been viciously ripped from him.

All he wanted was his moomy, so that he could feel whole again.

Tracking had always been one of Shrike's strengths. Old trails, new trails- it didn't seem to matter either way, as long as there was a trail. He had a great sense of direction and good common sense, and tried to anticipate where his quarry was headed. He'd chosen a very particular wolf to track that day, and found himself ambling along at a good pace as he swiftly made up the distance between himself and the yearling until he could see Eljay in the distance, head down, tracking.

It made him pleased; he'd hoped to do something practical with the boy, given that Shrike certainly lacked in the emotional comforting zone. Tracking was a good distraction, though, so he was relieved to see the boy already partaking in the activity. He approached and chuffed fondly to get the boy's attention. "Hey Ejlay. C'n I join you?" he asked earnestly.

Slumping through the territory and only half focussed on actually finding a trail, Eljay barely noticed Shrike's approach. Ears folded forward, then back uncertainly as he looked at his pack mate. He sounded friendly, though Eljay realised that he didn't know him very well. Every time they saw each other it was when something big was happening and there were lots of others. Eljay lowered his tail and head to show respect to Shrike, knowing he was his superior. "Oh, uhm, of course," he said with a nod; even if he hadn't wanted the company, he wouldn't have said no to someone of higher rank.

He smiled awkwardly at Shrike, feeling nervous because he was afraid that Shrike would find out that he was rubbish at hunting. Worse, he probably already knew. What if he'd tell Uncle P and Aunt Fox and they'd thrown Eljay out of the pack? He swallowed difficultly and slowly walked on, sniffing but barely even registering the result of his own tracking.

Eljay seemed to shrink a bit as Shrike approached, probably just to show respect but he discerned a certain amount of shyness as well. Though Shrike was only as close as a distant wolf could be to both of Eljay's parents, he never really felt particularly shy around either of them, and certainly not around their son. Awkward, yes, but shy, no. He bobbed his head in greeting to the boy again, and gave him half a smile when he accepted the company Shrike had offered. He gestured toward the boy's lowered head. "Dun worry 'bout it." He said. "Posture can sit second when hunting." He said, hoping the boy would relax a bit and just focus on the task at hand. 

He could still sense Eljay's tension as they moved, and Shrike could scent a couple mildly old scent trails, and looked over at Eljay now and then to see if he caught wind of anything. He stiffened when he caught the scent of partridge lingering on a soft, downy feather that had been left on the ground some time ago. "Psst," Shrike said, grinning wolfishly at Eljay. "Y'like bird?"

He wasn't sure how to feel when he was told he didn't need to mind his posture so much. Eljay wished it was something he could easily changed, but aside from an awkward roll of his shoulder he didn't really change his posture by much. They focussed on the hunt instead, though, so it was a subject easily shoved aside.

The feather didn't go unnoticed to Eljay, and he sniffed it. Didn't find much scent on it, but it seemed that Shrike did. Eljay nodded when he was asked if he liked bird, and he continued to stalk, though steering mostly in the direction Shrike took because Eljay himself didn't have much of an idea in what direction to go. He tried not to let it show by adjusting to Shrike's path, staying close and hoping he'd catch the scent sooner or later.

Shrike wished the boy would relax, but he told himself to be patient. He wanted to build the boy's confidence up, and saying over and over again for him to relax certainly wouldn't help. He'd have to relax at his own leisure, when he actually felt comfortable. Shrike knew the feeling- he wasn't particularly adept at feeling comfortable or relaxed around wolves he didn't know, so he could understand a bit why Eljay might have felt awkward. He let the boy be, then, and when he nodded, Shrike smiled. Bird hunting it was, then- and that pleased Shrike. Shrike loved birds. He loved hunting them, even though the fail rate was ridiculously high. There was just something silly and fun about trying to catch a bird before it got too high off the ground, and getting showered in soft feathers when it got away. 

He gestured, and began to move forward, body held low just in case the birds were in a tree and could see them tracking. Eljay did the same, and Shrike assumed the boy was on to the faint scent of bird as well, though he paused when he came across another feather and some bird tracks on the ground. He grinned a toothy, hungry grin, sought Eljay's eye, and gestured again, hoping the boy would take the lead. "Stop once we get close enough," He whispered hoarsely. "We get close enough, we can scare it up at the same time. Both gonna have to jump to try an' catch when it takes off." He said.

Eljay was glad when they found some feathers and tracks on the ground. He sniffed the feathers and finally managed to grasp a trail, then moving on to follow it. It was faint, but enough to give them a direction and luckily soon they came across another feather and more tracks, confirming his thoughts. Shrike then suggested they stop when they were 'close enough' (whoever knew how close or far that was?) and both jump at it.

Eljay shifted his weight and nodded nervously at that. He didn't hunt bird often, because it was so darn hard to catch, but he decided not to tell that to Shrike, in case he would look stupid. It seemed too late to admit he had no idea what he was doing, anyway. Eljay just continued to go forward, mimicking Shrike's sneaking position. Occasionally he'd startle from a sudden sound or stepping on a rustling leaf, but then the bird got into view.

Eljay glanced at Shrike and started to go left, hoping Shrike'd go right so they could approach it from different angles. That's what he meant, right?

Had he needed to, Shrike would have moved forward to resume tracking if Eljay strayed from the trail, but his nose led him in the right direction and they found more signs of avian life. As he had Eljay relying on his sense of smell, Shrike lifted his head a bit to use his eyes in picking out the brown, earthy tones of partridge feathers. A bit more difficult this time of year, as they matched their surroundings quite well, but he caught the stiffness in the youth's movement and as soon as the boy halted, Shrike caught sight of what he'd been looking for. He could see one, but couldn't tell whether there were more hiding or not. Likely there were- they seemed to like to hide in groups. 

He nodded to Eljay, but rather than moving away to corner the birds, he stayed right by Eljay's side. For an animal that lived on the ground like a rabbit, that would have been a choice technique, as most animals would zig zag to try and avoid being caught by one wolf, only to run into the clutches of another. Birds, however, tended to go straight up- so it wouldn't matter what angle he took as his approach. He grinned at the boy, then, and crouched, readying his legs beneath him. He checked out Eljay, to make sure he was ready, before he crouched down a bit further, and and flicked an ear to get the boy's attention. He then flattened both ears and bolted forward. 

Two partridges took off in a flutter of feathers and cooing sounds, beating their wings against the ground at first in an attempt to get into the air as soon as possible. Both had reached an altitude of two or three feet by the time gathered himself to jump, and he sprang into the air, clamping his teeth down on the tail feathers of one of the partridges. He held on tight to the bird when he hit the ground again, but the jarring movement caused the bird's tail feathers to pull free, and before Shrike could snap at it again, the partridge had taken flight again. "Get'im!" Shrike shouted happily, hoping maybe that Eljay could get a better hold on it.

Eljay didn't understand why Shrike would stay so close to him instead of going off to the other side to chase the birds. He was pretty sure that was how it worked. That was how he'd been taught hunting, at least. But of course, he'd never caught a bird successfully and he had no idea what tactics were used, simply projecting critter-tactics on the birds.

He wasn't quite ready when Shrike bolted and let go of a surprised "Oh!" even though he realised as he did so that Shrike'd given all the signs he was about to head out. Eljay had just been too busy with other things inside of his head to notice them. He watched as Shrike caught one and gasped, then came into motion when he realised he wasn't here just to watch.

As Shrike called out Eljay galopped by him towards the partridge, but by the time he reached it it was already going up into the air. Eljay wanted to jump at it, but he found himself immobilised by feeling dumb about failing. So he jumped up half-heartedly, missing the bird. Without trying again, knowing they were long gone, he looked at his paws and mumbled, "Sorry...", knowing he had been too slow.

Shrike spat out a mouthful of feathers as he looked back to see Eljay delay slightly before leaping into the air. He was sure the boy could leap higher if he wanted to, but he looked uncomfortable and unsure of himself. The last thing he wanted to do was bash the boy's spirits, especially since they'd failed at catching the birds, so Shrike shrugged casually at Eljay's apology and grinned wolfishly. "S'ok," He said, and coughed once, before he spat out the last feathed he'd plucked from the bird he'd nearly caught. "'Em's tricky buggers." He chirped, looking up into the sky. The birds were long gone, but spying a few dead leaves clinging to a branch above his head, he came up with a better idea. 

There was no way he could have reached those leaves even if he'd had a good run to make the jump. He turned his gaze to Eljay, sizing the boy up. "New strategy." He said, pacing in a circle and turning his head to look up at the leaves again. "Them leaves." He said, gesturing up. "Too high for either of us to get." He said, and backed up a step so they were no longer directly above him, but a couple feet ahead of him as well. "Want you to back up- 'bout as much as we were when we sprinted." He said. "Want you to try jumping off my shoulders, see if you can get them leaves." He said, squaring his feet. If he could work as a launching pad, they'd be able to catch a bird even if it made it a few more feet off the ground. "Wanna try?" He said, eyes twinkling.

Eljay felt disappointed, but Shrike didn't seem to get his spirits down. Eljay wasn't sure how ever Shrike had got so positive, and he felt a little ashamed of his own negativity. He didn't try to ruin everything, but it just seemed to happen, and that's why he was sad so much. He should've watched Lucy better so she wouldn't have been taken, and he shouldn't have let mommy run away to find her, either. His breath became raspy as he thought of this, but calmed a little when Shrike distracted him with the leaves.

He looked up at the leaves and blinked dumbly, listening to the strategy. But he didn't get it. The birds were gone, so they were going to catch... leaves instead? He shuffled his paws and awkwardly said: "Uh... But leaves aren't very tasty." He didn't want to outright say 'no', but he hoped that Shrike understood the intent of his comment: why are we hunting leaves?

The last thing Shrike had expected was for Eljay to say something funny. And though he probably hadn't intended to be funny at all, what Eljay said- and with such innocent sincerity as well- struck Shrike's funny bone in a very unexpected way. He laughed, and shook his head, looking up at the leaves with smiling eyes. "Hah! Nope!" He said. "Good one." He said, tipping his head to the boy who probably had no idea he'd been funny. Eljay seemed a lot more serious than other yearlings Shrike had met; Shrike himself had been quite serious, but only because he was an introvert who had liked living alone, and had almost never cracked or laughed at an intentional joke. Eljay seemed shy and quiet, likely due to some of the horrors he had experienced first hand. 

"Just wanna see how much higher a wolf can jump when jumping off the shoulders of another wolf." He said. "Just imagine it's a bird." He said, and, as he braced himself once more and found another chuckle brewing in his throat, he added "Just spit them leaves out when you catch 'em."

Eljay froze when Shrike started to laugh, feeling as though he must've said something stupid for getting laughed at. Ears folded back and forth in confusion, but he decided to brush it off for now and trying not to assume the worst. At least he had made Shrike laugh, even if it was by saying something stupid. Either that, or Shrike was crazy, or something.

Then he said they would try just so that they could practise. Eljay bit his lip as it became clear to him he was supposed to jump off someone else, fearful that he'd ruin it because he was clumsy. "I'm not very good at jumping... Couldn't you do that, and I'll stand and let you jump off me..?" There was a pitch to the end of his sentence, almost as if he knew the answer would be 'no' and he'd still have to do it.

The poor kid. Yet again he stalled, and Shrike relaxed his posture, feeling as though he'd never get the kid to partake in something fun. The idea of using another wolf as a springboard was ridiculous, he knew, but it could work. Eljay seemed uncomfortable jumping on Shrike's back, and proposed that Shrike use him as a springboard instead. He tilted his head to the side, sizing the boy up. Would he squish him? Shrike wasn't a big wolf...But there would be a good amount of force exerted- he'd just have to jump lightly. 

"Sure." He said, gesturing for Eljay to stand where he'd been, and he moved back to give himself a bit of room to pick up speed. He chuckled. "I'll try not to flatten you," He said softly but earnestly. He knew he'd hardly try to touch the boy- but if he could get Eljay to do something, he might be inclined to switch positions after. "Holler when ready. And brace yourself good."

It was an immense relief when Shrike agreed to switch the tables. He got into the position he had assigned to Eljay before and Eljay moved towards the tree where he took the exact place that Shrike had before. There he huddled, making himself smaller so that Shrike's impact would hopefully not be too painful.

He closed his eyes and called out, "Ready!" then waited with eyes tightly shut, hoping that it would all work out.

Don't squish the kid. Don't squish the kid. Do NOT squish the kid.

He ran the thought through his mind several times, and assured himself he was relatively light, and could be light on his feet. He would've preferred to have Eljay try launching off his shoulders first, just to see how bad the impact really was, but there was no having that. He'd perked right up when Shrike offered to switch positions, and he couldn't go back on that now. He crouched, and decided then and there that he wouldn't run full tilt, and would do his best to be as gentle on Eljay's shoulders as he could. 

"Okay!" Shrike called, and lunged forward at a lope. He didn't need too much speed, he didn't figure, as this was just the first test. Once he was sure Eljay could bear his weight, he'd give it a more honest try, but for right now, he wasn't going to try much at all. He was quite close to Eljay when he finally left the ground, landing tentatively on Eljay's shoulders, and springing lightly up off them. He was nowhere close to grabbing the leaves- he likely could have jumped higher from the ground without jumping from Eljay's shoulders- but he had to make sure, first, that Eljay didn't mind having even the slightest bit of weight dumped on his shoulders. He landed and swirled around, ears foward. "You ok?"

Don't squish me, don't squish me, don't squish me...

The impact wasn't as bad as Eljay had thought, though, and no more than a light "Oof" escaped his mouth when Shrike launched off him. He tumbled over, though mostly because he hadn't stood very securely, but hadn't hurt himself. Eljay quickly scrambled to his feet and shook his fur, then looked up at Shrike, but...

... There were no leaves in his mouth. "Oh," he said with a hint of disappointment, and he grimaced, feeling kind of sorry for Shrike that his plan hadn't succeeded. "Oh well, we tried." He didn't sound like he wanted to give it another try, though it hadn't hurt him much or anything. It was just that he didn't think it'd work that time.

The kid was alright. Shrike sighed with relief, but couldn't help but notice that Eljay seemed disappointed. He wouldn't tell the boy he'd hardly tried, then, and decided not to try again lest he hurt Elwood's son. He chuckled, and licked his lips, shrugging one silver shoulder. "Was just a silly idea. Didn't work." He said, though he was still fairly certain that if a light enough wolf jumped off his shoulders, and he gave them a boost as they did so, they'd get up higher. Maybe it was something to try with Sassafras- she seemed the type who wouldn't mind squishing him a bit for a bit of fun. 

"Let's keep tracking. Put your sniffer to good use," He said, and began to lead the way, roving this way and that, looking for new scents. He decided that he'd have to regularly try with Eljay- a bond wouldn't form from just one outing. Eljay was a tough nut to crack, but it would be good for him, he was sure. Eventually, they split ways, and Shrike went about trying to figure out how he might get the quiet, solemn youth to open up more.