Blacktail Deer Plateau o father (in law) where art thou

backdated to yesterday evening if that's ok @Grayday

life had come full circle. only a few moons ago did he wake up on that beach, soaked through to the bone and limp as a dead fish. he had thought then that it might have been better to die on the isle. he had--so many times in life, but especially then--thought it would be better to die than to carry on.

now, all that had changed. aditya had never been fatalistic nor suicidal, but he had never really had a reason to live before he came here. he had a family of sorts, now, which included a mate, her father and siblings, and some wonderful friends. there was good hunting on the plateau, and the world was big enough to never tire of exploring and it seemed as though it grew every day.

aditya had always been a happy wolf, but lately, the happiness threatened to burst through him at every seam.

he sat one early evening by the catfish pond, occasionally testing his luck with the fishing but otherwise standing as sentry, looking up at their natural border--the impenetrable wall--to the northwest, while lost in these thoughts. he was alert, ready to defend the territory if need be. . .but for the first time in his life, the alertness came from a sense of duty rather than the blind desire to survive.

<3

Grayday, too, had been rather ecstatic, lately. Not even the recent loss of his eye had been able to dull the overwhelming sense of completeness he had attained. Not the threat of war, or the oncoming winter, or worry over the curse could bring him down. His family was safe and whole, save for his wandering son - but Sunny and Dawn had made up, so not even his first son's absence truly worried him anymore. Children were born just to leave their parents, and Grayday could accept that so long as their familial bonds remained.

And now, he had a third son - sort of. He'd already begun to think of Aditya as a sort of brother, much like Steady, before Dawn claimed him as her own. Now he wasn't sure what to call their relationship, except that they were certainly friends.

When Grayday caught the other male's scent, he followed it with an idly wagging tail, wondering what Aditya might be up to. Mindful of the other's new status as not-a-bachelor, he made sure to announce his arrival with a cheerful woof before moving cautiously toward the trail's terminus at the catfish pond.

his ears caught the sound of nearby footsteps, and he turned, his face splitting into a grin as he saw grayday approaching. the leader was still moving slower than usual, but he had improved tremendously since the incident, adjusting to life with only one eye.

"namaskaar,"he breathed, still slightly lost in thought. "evening, grayday. how are you?"

aditya wondered whether dawn had told her father about them, yet. if not, he supposed the onus was on him to break the news. it was a little intimidating, to tell the truth--past encounters with fathers had never gone well.

but he was older, now, and wiser, closer to grayday's own age than he was to dawn's, not to mention in his good graces. he imagined it must go more smoothly, this time around.

Grayday's ears flapped at the strange word, but Aditya didn't address it before moving on to pleasantries, so Grayday was inclined to ignore it as well.

He was alone, which was unexpected, but Grayday was glad he wasn't interrupting anything when he sat down beside the other male with what could only be described as a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Evenin' - I'm great. How are you?" replied the one-eyed man.

aditya flicked an ear at the alpha's grin. so he did know--at least, he knew something had happened. whether that was just inference on his part or something dawn had told him, adi didn't know. he wasn't sure whether he wanted it to be the former or the latter option.

"i am. . ." his voice trailed off as he looked for a suitable word, finally settling on, "wonderful." it seemed grossly inadequate, under the circumstances, but he couldn't think of a sentiment in the common tongue that quite added up.

a couple of beats of silence went by as they sat together, adi looking straight ahead. finally, he tilted his nose toward grayday, smiling shyly. "hey, um," he started, "have you. . .had a chance to talk to dawn yet?"

Grayday gave another of his patented unimpressed looks, though he continued to look cheerful in spite of this. Duh, his expression seemed to say, when he really wanted to gush and congratulate and exclaim.

But he did not know the exact nature of his daughter's relationship with this man. Grayday considered them a pair, but perhaps they were only at the beginning stages of their courtship? It wasn't for him to name or pry at, so he simply gave a little nod and said,

"Catori and I are mates, now," with the casual air of one commenting on the weather.

he noted grayday's bland look, and his smile grew to a grin again. he did know. and was evidently okay with it, given his silence on the matter. a thrill of excitement and relief, mixed all together in a happy way, coursed through him, and adi was opening his mouth to speak until grayday did so himself. 

"catori?" he asked rhetorically. he remembered the woman fairly well, though they had only met the once. beautiful woman, kind disposition. she would be great for grayday. "shabaash! that's, uh, that means 'well done.' really. . .congratulations," he added, his eyes bright. 

and this almost certainly meant another litter of half-siblings for dawn. aditya liked catori. he hoped, feeling now some trepidation, that she would stick around longer than grayday's other two mates had.

Grayday couldn't help the proud straightening of his spine. He had done well - Catori was a fine woman. In her, he'd found something of a kindred spirit despite their opposite interests. Where they differed, they seemed to complement each other.

"You too," said Day, finally allowing a bit of his whole-hearted approval to shine through. "I've thought since we met that the two of you would be good for each other." He'd literally prayed for this.

It did not occur to him that he ought to put the fear of god into this man on his daughter's account. Dawn and Aditya were their own wolves, and they would treat each other kindly or they wouldn't. No threat from Grayday would change that, and if it would, it was a shallow peace that was not bound to last.

he did his best to remain stoic, but he could not halt the tears that sprang suddenly to his eyes, blurring his vision momentarily, as grayday spoke. though the words had been relatively neutral, he caught the happiness and pride in grayday's expression, his tone, and was more than grateful for the response.

blinking back the emotion, aditya swallowed and smiled. "i. . .thank you," he said haltingly, the corners of his mouth trembling. "it means so much to hear that. from anyone, but especially you."

he had never had a father. his mother had lain with a man who had run off shortly thereafter; rekha had gone the rest of her short-lived existence not knowing whether he had been killed or had simply vanished, abandoning her in her time of need. even throughout his life, he had gone without any sort of father figure. mothers, uncles, siblings--of a sort--and friends. but never a father.

thinking of all this, aditya continued, "i grew up with no father. i don't even know whether the man is dead or alive. i wasn't given a home or a name." he looked down, feeling overwhelmed once more. "dawn is lucky to have you--and so am i." his voice was the barest murmur, breath stirring the ruff of his neck.

Grayday's tail swished at these words. Aditya's story was sad, but Grayday didn't feel sorry for him. They'd all walked certain paths before these wonderful days, when everything seemed to be coming together. If the world had taken things from them, it seemed as though it was working to pay them back.

"We're lucky to have each other," said Grayday, thinking about how not everyone who joined Morningside joined the family. Sylvas, who had been there longer than most, still existed on the outskirts. But Aditya had fit right in, just like Pema and Cat. Slowly but surely, they were cobbling together a family the size that Grayday had left behind. "Do you ever think that all this is meant to be? Perhaps we're all on paths that lead to higher places. It's as though the writers of our lives got together and planned this. Otherwise, how could we all find each other in such a big world?"

Abruptly, Grayday realized how absurd he was being. "I'm getting far too introspective in my old age," he said with a laugh, standing and shaking out his coat. "Let's do something - thinking is going to get me in trouble."

aditya was all too happy to get up and stretch his legs, though he took into account grayday's little speech, thinking on it for a long moment before speaking.

"i was brought up to believe we die and are reborn once more, until we live fully enough to rest forever," he remarked, smiling at the alpha male. "and sometimes the souls we meet are those we've encountered in previous lifetimes. perhaps we've lived and loved together many times before."

he shrugged. "there's no way of proving it. very few remember other lives beside their own, and even, then. . .are those just dreams, or actual memories of before? it's as if we leave our bodies--old, god willing--and wake up the next day as a child, with no recollection of any of the days we've lived previous."

aditya laughed, his breath a puff of white in the frigid air. "you're not the only one who's gotten introspective over the years," he teased. indeed, all the little moments aditya had once filled with fun and games were now crammed tight with weighty thoughts about past, present, and future--especially since hari had come to visit.

It was a strange theory - Grayday listened with one ear flipped back, and his brows raised in clear skepticism. However, just because he didn't believe it in didn't mean it wasn't a nice thought. He liked to think that love outlived their bodies, and was with them before and after they were here on the earth.

"I've never heard that one," said Grayday, attempting to be diplomatic. Despite his disbelief, he felt somehow closer to his son-in-law. They were both idiots.

The male lead his companion away from the pond and toward the borders. Although he could no longer look out over the plains and see them with any degree of accuracy, he still liked to sit there and watch the sky breeze past him. It wasn't exactly doing something, but his pensive mood coupled with his injury made the idea of action rather unappealing. Instead, he decided to voice a thought that had been nagging at him while Aditya spoke.

"Is there something on your mind?" he asked, not quite sure what he thought Aditya might need to say, but feeling there was something burning within the younger man's heart.

grayday had asked the question he had been avoiding himself, and he sighed, the sound slightly ragged. how to put into so few words the thoughts that had been plaguing him? he had to give it a shot; to lie would be an immense slight to grayday, and to remain silent. . .well, that would be a lie, too.

"when i was out on my own, i didn't have to worry about anyone but myself," aditya said softly. "sure, i had friends, lovers--none of which amounted to much in the end," he added hastily, giving grayday a sideways glance. he didn't want to give the man the impression he still burned for anyone but his daughter. "but i wasn't accountable to anyone. no one but myself."

his eyes, golden and shrewd as an eagle's, raked over the territory, as he continued. "but this. . .is mine, as a member of morningside. dawn is mine. her family is now my family. and for the first time, i feel truly responsible for others."

aditya looked back at grayday. "i am religious. i hold strongly to my beliefs--one of which is to do no harm. but surely, with the life we live, there are exceptions to that." a low growl formed in his throat, as he gazed upon his father-in-law's missing eye. "i want to harm the woman that threatened our land, hurt our family. i want to kill her. and it's an emotion i've never felt before. . .and i'm grappling with that."

he fell silent, still quietly bristling but waiting for grayday's response.

Grayday studied the male with growing alarm, being very familiar with the sort of anger that Aditya was talking about. He knew firsthand how damaging the affects of such anger could be and did not want that for his son in law - or his daughter, for that matter.

"Let it go," he said gruffly, turning his head away. Perhaps this was a mistake; it left his blind eye toward the other male, a painful reminder of what had come to pass. "Adi - I hope you will respect me in this. My father told me something long ago, and if I'd heeded him, I'd have saved myself a lot of trouble and heartache. I wasn't always the wolf you see before you, now."

He closed his eye, a gesture that Aditya surely missed, and summoned the words that his father had once spoken. "Don't raise your voice in anger. There may come a time when you'll need to shout, and that's fine. But don't let it be just to hurt someone else, or because you can't control your temper."

He looked back at the other man, expression serious and intent. "We all do harm. We are not infailible, and we have duties to those around us. It's inevitable that lives will be lost, and injuries sustained. But when we do the things we do, let it only be because we must, and not out of revenge or blood lust. If we see her again, we'll kill her. We might even seek her out. But when you or I strike the fatal blow, I hope it's not hate in our hearts. I hope it's love - for the ones that we're saving."

he swallowed, as if the small act helped him take down every word grayday was throwing at him. he knew--he knew--that this was not his life to take, that justice would soon strike this wolf down in some shape or form. and he understood that anger must not overcome him, especially not now.

but those nightmares. those bloody nightmares.

"i'm very rarely angry," adi finally said, once grayday had finished. "i am, now. but thank you. that. . .that helped." he gave his leader a weak smile. "i will try to take that with me as i go forward. for myself. . .and for my new family."

"It's okay to be angry," said Grayday, knowing that the situation was an awful one and that it was only natural to be angry about it. "But don't stay angry, and don't let anger act on your behalf. I did Dawn and her brother a great disservice by not letting go of my anger much sooner than I did. Sometimes, I wonder if she and Sunny wouldn't be much closer if I'd been more present when they were young."

He shook his head. There was no use dwelling on such things.

"Maybe we should distract you. That porcupine has been coming closer again. Care to help me deal with the problem?" asked Grayday, hoping his son-in-law would oblige him. It would be much more difficult to keep track of the creature with one of his eyes gone, and he hoped Aditya would help him not to get quilled.

Fade here?

it did feel better, talking to grayday. the conversation had lifted a part of the weight, even if that part was small, off his shoulders that had been sitting there for the past couple of weeks. he was intrigued by what he said about his early relationship with his children, but let that go unremarked upon as the leader switched topics.

"lead the way," aditya responded, lips stretching in a small smile.

if there was one thing to say about life in morningside, is that there were always the mundane, day-to-day problems--like intruding porcupines--to tackle before you let your mind linger upon other, more existential crises.