Bearclaw Valley and this is the day, i die for it

she was still tormented by the scent that hounded her, following her doggedly like a rabid lurcher - coursing through the cold air with her, permeating every aspect of her life in a deep and hazy fog. she could not rid herself of it -- she still did not understand the change that had overcome her, and as of late had resolved to bitter jaunts that favorited isolation.

two days ago she had seen a white stag on the mountains. as she followed it, it left no cloven half-moon prints in its wake, the snow uninterrupted by its passing. it disappeared behind the sedge-laden slope of a rocky rise and as she crested it all that remained around her was the scouring wind and a bitter cold that seeped her bones.

today, indra set out for that spot again -- this time intent to catch whatever winter spirit it was that had visited her. she thought perhaps the changes in her body could be explained that way --  perhaps she was kept by a malign star, and that was the reason for her misery as of late.

Too much time had passed since Blondine had gotten a chance to have a real, intimate conversation with Indra. Their relationship had blossomed quickly, and she didn't want to see that fade — as she spotted the crimson frame of the young femme slipping away, Blondine was quick to follow. Wait up! she called as she made her approach. 

The scent that clung to her friend's fur wasn't something that was easy to hide; it was noted almost immediately. A pang of curiosity spread through Blondine's chest; when would it be her turn? Regardless, she waited until they were side by side to try and nudge at Indra's shoulder as a friendly greeting. I missed you!

a noise behind her caused indra to stop and turn, her hardened gaze softening as she recognized it as blondine. she had not wanted to talk to anyone - not xan, not that mute brute - laurel's company she always wanted, but she was glad that it was blondine's slim form in the distance and not any other packmate's. if indra had of known blondine knew what strange malaise it was that had taken hold of her, she would have turned and begged for explanation. she might even had demanded it -- so much had changed since their last meeting, and it had only been a short time. her heat caused her to be more fractious than normal, but it also caused her to be less timid -- at a later date she might find herself examining all that had happened and wondering if high tension and hormones had played their heavy part in it.

she took a few steps towards blondine and angled her muzzle down, attempting to give her an affectionate lick on her uninjured side. "hey," she rejoined quietly, swaying her hips as she turned to face blondine head on and assess her friend's injured muzzle. "how are you feeling?"

Blondine was taken aback by the cold gaze laid upon her, but she didn't think much of it. In fact, she was taken aback by Indra's disposition as a whole, wondering if this was an effect of estrus or something other. Nonetheless, it didn't seem like something that either would want to talk about, so Blondine allowed the thought to slip her mind. I'm o-kaaay, how are you? Her eye had healed up nicely, and with the help of those around her, the once daily routine of cobwebs and bark had come to a close.

she believed there was an almost imperceptible edge to blondine's expression as they first made eye-contact, but she could not give it tangible form in words. she let the moment pass, studying the wound laid bare on her friend's face. it troubled indra that blondine would go the rest of her life without use of that eye. it wasn't right.

she offered a diffident shrug of her shoulders in return. "your eye looks better. i'm the same." she still held a slight limp in her gait, and still favored her haunches most long nights, but the wound had run its infected course and now was just a large, ugly cut. "i don't want to be here. i wanted to maybe explore the fringes.. do you want to hunt out there?"

It didn't feel the same. Something was there that Blondine couldn't quite name, but she knew that something had changed. Biting back all of the questions she wanted to ask with pursed lips, she nodded and started walking ahead. What did you have in mind? she asked, her tail picking up a friendly wag. It had been a while since she'd had a chance to go for any big game, and the thought of taking something down with In made the prospect all the better.

indra swung her gaze back towards the evergreen studded mountains in the distance. their slopes were inviting and distant - their shadowed features seemed to offer tantalizing refuge. she motioned towards the hazy bosk with a slender muzzle. "laurel and i saw deer out that way." she was not sure if she was good enough to bring down a deer, they were much larger than her -- but maybe blondine had some tricks up her resourceful sleeve she could enlighten indra with.

either way, indra relished the chance to put miles between her and bearclaw -- she set off at an easy lope (though she waited first for blondine to come alongside her). she was eager to commit herself to nothing but the wide countryside, the open sky, and the cold refreshing air.

Blondine trailed after Indra, assuming that she knew where she was leading them. A deer during a time like this would be a lucky catch, at least back at home; when food became scarce, tensions grew — Lord knows that the last thing anyone in the Valley needed was more tension. Taking a deep breath, Blondine caught a few of the drifting snowflakes in her whiff, bringing about a short sneezing fit. 

With an apologetic smile, she turned to Indra, Winter isn't my favorite season. Up ahead, she could hear the bellows of a small herd, certainly nowhere near the size they would be come spring. She nodded in the direction of the sound, ears cupped atop her head.

a series of light sneezes behind caused indra to turn, her head tilted to the side in concern until the last achoo had been eeked from blondine's muzzle. she felt a small smile play her lips as blondine apologized -- indra certainly shared her sentiment. she was not a fan of the cold. snow was a terribly fatal beauty, she had come to find -- the cold that came with it was often unendurable.

"nor mine." she replied, turning back to the trail. they came to a gentle rise and blondine canted her muzzle in the direction of a shaded copse. through the bare trees indra could make out the thin cervine forms as they milled in the snow, scraping the hardened ground with slender and delicate legs. she pressed herself to the snow and inched forward, an ear pulled towards blondine. she was not the expert here, and would wait for blondine's word.

Blondine probably held as much experience as Indra; it seemed that they were dependent on each other, even if neither knew it. As she watched the flame belly down to the snow, she mimicked the motion and slowly crept ahead. There were several of them, each light-bellied and doe-eyed, though there was one in particular that managed to steal away Blondine's want. 

Near the rear of the group stood a tall, leggy creature with fur a few shades darker than the rest. From the looks of it, she was healthy and plump with no injuries or developmental setbacks. If they could catch her, she would make for a decent addition to the caches. 

Looking to Indra, Blondine nodded in the opposite direction of the herd. If Indra snaked around to their front and Blondine to their back, then, in theory, they could corner the dark nymph and take her out.

from her position in the snow she followed blondine's gaze, spying the soft-eyed creature that had caught blondine's attention. her fur was a dark buff, a contrast from the dull wintry lightness of the rest of the herd. she nodded in affirmation and snaked forward with careful steps. her ears were pulled flat the side of her skull and her amber eyes set intensely on the doe who was still oblivious to their approach.

cautious, slow steps brought her round the panning herd; it was a while before she settled into place. she had used the cover of fallen trees as camoflauge, but as she drew closer it would be hard to disguise the bright red of her body against the drab earth and ragged, filthy snow. she caught blondine's eye from across the woodlands, her breath baited.

Rolled a 4 :(

Things seemed to be going according to plan. The girls were perfectly aligned, one across from the other, and the deer remained oblivious. The two of them, with their bright red coats and general inexperience, should have known that soemthing was bound to go wrong at one point or another — as Blondine took a slight step forward, the doe lifted her head, presumably tracking her soon-to-be attacker's movements.

Dammit, Blondine whispered, knowing that any wrong moves could easily worsen the problem. It was now or never, but she needed to make sure Indra was on the same page.

indra sucked in her breath, lying flat on the ground as she waited for blondine's command. the deer moved about quietly, unaware of their presence. she tracked the darkest doe's movements with a careful and hungry stare, inching forward ever so slowly. the deer were yet to discover their presence and she was close enough she could see the dark lining of their liquid eyes and the dense tufts of fur that spilled out of their soft, palm-shaped ears.

the doe they were interested suddenly stood upright, placing a slender hoof into the ground in a stomp. the rest of the herd raised their head collectively, ears swiveling as their large eyes broadly surveyed the vicinity for the cause of alarm. with a snort, the doe trounced off, her bright tail flashed behind in warning -- all around indra, the deer clattered -- flying through the trees in rapid bounds.

Are the die ever in anyone's favor like --

Dammit! Blondine yelled, no longer afraid of frightening their catch; she'd already succeeded at that, Go! Without turning to see if Indra was following, Blondine began to sprint after the dispersing herd, her eyes and paws trailing after the raven. They moved quickly and in swift, graceful motions — Blondine could try all she wanted, but trying to catch up was too difficult on her own. She had a feeling that Indra would feel the same, but if they'd had a group...

Although her body continued pursuit, her mind had already accepted defeat.

as the snow fell around indra, blondine was hot on the tail of the scattered deer -- indra rose from her concealed position and sprung after their fleeing forms. they were too fast, and too hale -- they easily sliced through snow while she plowed through it like slough; before long she was winded and her steps slowed in vigor and speed.

she turned to blondine and it appeared her comrade had a similar foreboding sense of failure about them: indra offered a bleak smile, and cut towards her at an ambling stroll. there was no use expending energy if their meal was not guaranteed. "sorry," she interjected, assuming the deer had become aware of her presence first. "bet they think we're a pair of jokes, two red wolves trying to hide in the snow."

Defeat had never come easily to Blondine. As the deer got away and Indra turned back, she plopped down onto her haunches and allowed her head to hang low. The breakdown was coming and it was time that she stopped trying to fight it — it was only a coincidence that she and Indra seemed to be going through their crises at the same time. 

It started as a soft sob and a small lurch of her body, but it quickly grew into an accumulated weep. Blondine, oh, Blondine, she thought, You're gonna embarass yourself. Because of all the people who could have seen Blondine break down over a deer, the most abundant big game around these parts, it had to be Indra. It couldn't have been Xan who'd already made up his mind that she was weak, or Reigi who wouldn't have known the difference. It just had to be Indra.

;-;

indra expected to turn around and see her friend expertly deflect their defeat - instead, it seemed to unravel her. indra's ears swept back as blondine sunk her thin frame into the snow, and as she pulled closer she could see her friend's body heave with a dry sob.

indra was no stranger to breakdowns -- she pulled close enough that she could sink in the snow alongside her friend, and gently she thrust her muzzle into blondine's face with gentle licks. part of her wanted to press, to ask what was wrong -- but she knew whatever the answer was, it wouldn't chase the fact her friend was in distress right now.

"it'll be okay." she tried to comfort blondine, though she felt woefully inadequate. laurel never exposed her vulnerability this way, and while indra frequently felt herself the brunt of life's cruel joke, she knew better than to think less of her friend. life had a funny way of kicking people when they were down, and indra knew that.

It was making her do this; this wasn't who she was! Blondine wasn't cold, nor had she ever been. Her entire life, she had been the epitome of warmth, the physical manifestation of warmth, but when Indra started touching her, she couldn't help but to pull away. Had it been anyone else, she would have relished in the physical contact, but this was Indra — her job had never been to protect Blondine. 

No, she whispered as her voice cracked, No, it isn't. There were so many factors at play that Indra didn't know and Blondine couldn't admit to. The fault didn't belong to either of them; it didn't belong to anyone. But the problems were there, and not having anyone to blame them on didn't make the weight any less heavy.

indra frowned as the woman pulled away -- she steeled her rejection by reminding herself that blondine was hurt and she had no idea what her friend was going through. she was uncertain and she swallowed slowly, accepting her friend's rejection by pulling her muzzle away and looking out into the forest where the deer had disappeared. she did not want to seem too overbearing, but she also wanted to show she genuinely cared --- why was this so hard? what could she do?

"what's wrong?" she hated that question -- she truly did -- but saw no other way to help her friend that was clearly flailing under her inadequate care.

If Blondine had known what was wrong, then she might have thought to tell Indra. In truth, they each knew about as much as the other; things had been fine, and then they weren't. It wasn't like her to break down like this in front of anyone — why did Indra deserve to be any different? Why did she think that she reserved the right to see Blondine like this and ask, actually ask, what was wrong? Who told her that she had any right to pry her way into anyone else's life?

More importantly, why didn't Blondine care?

It was too much to think about on top of everything else, so she elected not to. Instead, she sat there for a few more minutes to try and compose herself before standing and turning to walk away. There was nothing else to be said, as far as Blondine was concerned.

indra's ears were pressed firm against her skull, worry creasing her brow. blondine was closer than ever and yet -- distant. indra had never seen her this way and she had no idea how, on god's green earth, to console her.

she thought perhaps their failure had precipitated her friend's sudden disquiet, but could that really be it? they had failed at hunting before, and blondine had seemed unsinkable then. worry wormed its way into her thoughts. had she said something, done something? was there something she should have noticed, that she hadn't?

she was so focused on herself and realized it with a grimace -- damn it, indra, not everything's about you she admonished inwardly. something was visibly affecting blondine, but unless she divulged on what it was indra had no way to help her. her jaws tightened as she watched blondine rise and walk away without a word.

that stung, more than she wanted it to -- and suddenly, she felt hurt too. selfishly the girl spun on her own heels and hotly strode in the opposite direction.