Heron Lake Plateau missing you

@Raven if yo got time? :D

Eljay hated this place. It felt like Redhawk Caldera was taken from him by this place. Like it was trying to take the place of something whose place could never even be taken. This wasn't home. It was nothing like the Caldera. Eljay'd only just gotten home and now he felt more lost than ever. Plenty of family to take care of the pups, wolves he didn't know and leaders who expected things of him... It was tough. It often felt tougher than it had been in Drageda. He often worried what they would think of him there and thought often of Blixen, whom he'd left. He hadn't intended not to return, but after getting injured and being transported back to Redhawk Caldera, well... He couldn't really return now.

He missed the carefree days of youth. Spending time with Wildfire and Raven. Things had never quite turned right between him and Raven since he had returned. They hadn't had a heart to heart, and last they did was when he had stayed with the Caldera while still being a part of Drageda. He knew that she had been disappointed then, that she felt he had failed -- and that was perhaps why he hadn't sought her out after his return. She'd tended to his wounds after he had returned but they hadn't really talked. Not really.

With a gentle sigh Eljay made his way to the borders, intending for a quick patrol while he tried to clear his head.

Sorry it took me so long to reply! I've been really excited about this thread. These two are very overdue for a good talk. <3

Raven had always kept herself busy, but ever since her sudden rise to alphaship, "busy" had taken on a whole new meaning for her. She often returned to Quixote late in the evening, totally dog-tired and mentally drained. Leadership was a tough job but so far, she thought she and Qui were managing it pretty well. The entire plateau hadn't gone up in flames, so she took that as a good sign. The pack seemed to be pretty happy in general, food was plentiful, the weather was good, and nobody was trying to kill them. All things considered, Raven felt pretty good about things right now.

Her unborn puppies were growing quickly, and her belly was getting noticeably rounder now. Occasionally, she could feel little kicks and flutters in there, and it was such a bizarre and unexpected sensation that she laughed out loud every time. As active as they were now, she could only imagine how much of a handful they were going to be when they were born.

She was heading back from a visit to the borders of the packlands when she rounded a bend and suddenly saw Eljay. While they'd seen one another in passing from time to time, Raven hadn't really made time to talk with him in a long time. The last time they'd had a heart-to-heart, she'd been bitter over his decision to leave the Caldera and join a different pack, and that bitterness had put an uncomfortable rift between them. She'd been meaning to get together with him and smooth things out, but life had been hectic then, and it was even more hectic now. As she approached him, she greeted him with a grin and a waving tail, genuinely glad to see her old friend. "Eljay," she said, her voice warm. "It's good to see you. How's it going?"

Same! :D

Eljay had been rather shocked to find out that Raven was pregnant, as he hadn't even known she and Quixote were mates, let alone anything else happening. He had really wanted to seek her out, really, but every time something else happened. One of the pups'd have an accident or he'd get distracted with a hunt or a patrol or they just didn't happen into each other. When he heard her voice Eljay startled briefly, mostly out of feeling guilty -- he should've sought her out earlier to ask how she and the pups were doing...

Raven sounded pleasant as she greeted him and said that it was good to see him. Eljay smiled, a little sheepish considering his initial startled reaction. "Hey Raven — Yeah, it's good to see you too." After a brief pause he added: "Congratulations, by the way." He left in the middle whether he meant her rise to Alpha or her pregnancy; in truth, he meant both a little. Eljay completely forgot to answer Raven's question to him as he glanced at her growing stomach and said: "How's the pups?"

In the time they'd spent apart, Raven had forgotten how much she enjoyed Eljay's company. Something about him had always put her at ease, and the fact that he was one of her oldest friends in the pack had always made him a beloved and valued companion to her. She felt a moment of shame that she had ever shunned him, and she mentally promised to atone for it now that they had the chance.

But for the moment, there were other topics of interest to discuss, and her smile brightened as he congratulated her and asked about her pups. "Thanks!" she replied, and added, "The pups are growing fast. They move so much! We're going to have our hands full with these little fuzzballs." She wondered if he would be willing or able to help with them once they were born. As the pack's most experienced sitter, his skills with kids would be pricelessly useful for those times when she needed someone trustworthy to look after her babies while she attended to other business.

She paused for a few beats, and then decided to get right to it: "Eljay, the last time we talked, I...I was kind of a jerk to you. I want to apologize. I've felt bad about it for a long time." Her eyes were somber and her body language humble as she spoke. She knew how sensitive he was, so she knew that it had probably eaten at him and bothered him in the months that had passed since.

Eljay smiled as Raven said that they would have their hands full on the pups. He hoped that he would be allowed to help. Looking at it rationally, maybe the only conclusion he should've been able to make would be that of course she'd let him help, for they were friends, but Eljay had never been a particularly rational wolf. The divide he felt emotionally felt so big that he felt shunned and as if he no longer had a place in his friend's life now. "I'd love to help, if.." He trailed off with a soft though hesitant smile, hoping that Raven wanted his help -- and that she needed the help.

It was strange being apologised to, especially for something he felt he had caused: he'd been the one to leave Redhawk Caldera, after all, and he hadn't returned when Raven had asked him to. He should've just stayed in that moment rather than leaving back to Drageda again. The surprise was visible on Eljay's face as he shook his head and hastily said: "Oh, no, I — I mean, I shouldn't have left, so you were... You were right to be mad. It's... It's okay, really." He smiled as if to confirm that it was okay and that there wasn't anything bad going on between them, but still somehow the apology had cleared the air and made him see that Raven wasn't still mad at him today. Eljay thought back to Redhawk Caldera and wished he hadn't left to Drageda for some time; not only had he spent a lot of time very weak from being on his own in the wild and it'd been dangerous, he had also missed some extra time he could've spent in his beloved home before moving to this stupid mud hole.

Raven's heart warmed as he responded, and she knew that this was exactly what they'd needed. The hard feelings had lingered between them like a sore, and talking about it was the lancet it needed to drain away the poison and let it heal. He acknowledged that it had been his decision to leave, owning up to his part in the issue, but still, she felt that her judgement of him had been wrong. She had always been loyal to her pack, and likely always would be, but as she got older and wiser, she understood that everyone had different reasons and motivations for the things they did. Even if she didn't always see things from their perspective or agree with their logic, it wasn't always up to her to decide.

"I think I was mad because I missed you so much, and I didn't understand why you wouldn't stay home," she commented in reply to his words, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. She stepped forward and nudged him lightly beneath his chin in a friendly gesture. "I understand now though, and I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. I'm so glad you came back." The small smile grew bigger, and her tail waved behind her as she spoke. Whatever the reasons had been, she was glad to have him home again. This was where he belonged. Their pack had never felt quite right without him in it.

Eljay smiled softly when Raven said that she thought she was mad because she missed having him around at home. Eljay himself didn't truly understand all of the reasons of why he had left, except that he felt he was dragging the Caldera down and that he should improve his skills. It felt, though, as if he had mostly found out that he didn't have many skills to improve in his time away, rather than learning new ones or improving on those he sorta had. Eljay pushed these thoughts from his mind for now and decided to focus just on the current topic at hand. His tail wagged a few beats when Raven said she was happy that he was back.

"I'm happy I'm back, too," said Eljay, though he wistfully looked 'round as he said this and realised that he was not entirely where he wished to be; not at Redhawk Caldera. But at least he was with its wolves. "Do you — Uhm, should I... I mean — blah." Eljay took a moment to recollect himself and try and find the words to say what he meant to say: "I've been practising what you taught me uhm, about delivering pups and I was thinking that, I was wondering if — if you'd like me to help with — when the pups get there." Eljay smiled awkwardly at Raven, knowing he was making this worse than it needed to be to get his point across.

It seemed that whatever tensions there had been between them were smoothed out now, and Raven felt a weight lifted from her shoulders that she hadn't fully realized was there. It was good to be on open, friendly terms with Eljay again, and she hoped that it stayed that way. It was bad enough that she and Finley hadn't spoken to one another in over a month, so she didn't want to add another Blackthorn to that list.

As he changed the subject and asked if he could help with the pups, Raven smiled brightly and her tail wagged behind her. It pleased her greatly that he had taken such an interest in midwifery and had continued to develop the skills she had taught him. "I'd love for you to help with the pups, actually," she replied with a grin. When it was time to give birth, no one would be welcome in the den -- not even her mate. Afterward, though, she thought that Eljay could be an enormous help to her and the puppies. "I remember how much work it was when I was raising my youngest siblings," she continued, "And now that I'm an alpha, it'll be really nice having a good sitter around so I can keep up with my duties. I really appreciate that you're willing to help!"

Eljay would have loved to have helped with actually delivering the pups, mostly because he was afraid for Raven's life -- as he was every year for mommy's, too -- after he had almost seen mommy die once and he knew that Fox had died in childbirth, too. But it was clear from her answer that while she would like for him to help with the actual pups, maybe not with the birth. Eljay resolved that he would stay nearby when it would happen so that maybe he could at least help Quixote through the nerves and if things did go south, he would be nearby to help right away.

"Yeah," Eljay said when Raven reminisced about how much work it'd been to raise the babes that Uncle P and Aunt Fox had left behind in the wake of their deaths. As she went on to say that she could use the help as Alpha, he nodded. "I'll do my best in helping to raise them and take care of them when you can't be there. I — Luckily I have a lot of experience with all the pups that were born the last years. I'm super careful." Eljay'd often watched his younger siblings, too, and while he couldn't provide them with any food he had always been super duper careful with them in their earliest weeks and moons to make sure they would stay healthy and safe.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it would be a good idea to have someone with basic midwife skills nearby just in case things went south. She thought for a moment and then said, "I'll let you know when I go into labor. You can help me through that." As an experienced midwife herself, this wasn't her first rodeo with childbirth, but it was her first time having her own, and she wouldn't exactly be in a position to act if an emergency came up. "Plus Qui could probably use the company, I'm sure he'll be freaking out," she added with a grin. As much as her mate stressed and worried about things now, she was sure he'd be a mess when it was go time for puppies.

"And there's nobody I'd trust more with the care of my pups, by the way," she commented further, in response to his promise to help and be careful. "I only need to look at your little siblings to see how good a job you've done with them." She smiled and waved her tail, getting more excited by the minute for the adventure that lay waiting in the confines of her round belly.

Eljay's tail wagged a few beats as Raven invited him that he could help her through the labour; it would really help with polishing up his skills but also made him feel safer knowing that Raven wouldn't have to do it all alone, and if there were any signs that indicated a problematic birthing he could help out. He grinned as Raven said Qui would probably be freaking out. Eljay'd never experienced this situation -- the dad situation -- himself so he could only try and imagine how helpless it must feel to be able to do nothing but wait for your mate and future brood to be safe.

Eljay smiled brightly as Raven further complimented him by saying that his siblings'd been raised so well. He didn't take much pride in them, for he felt that mommy and daddy had done most, of course — but still it felt good for Raven to commend him on it. Eljay knew he wasn't good at many things, but taking care of pups was one of the things he was good at. [b]"Thank you, Raven! That means a lot to me for you to say."[b] He smiled softly to emphasise the point and without thinking moved in for a hug, intending to press his face against the side of Raven's neck briefly in a friendly gesture.

Sorry for the lengthy wait! Was on vacation with limited/no access online.

Are you working toward a midwife mastery for Eljay? If so, I'd be happy to do another thread with you where they discuss the birth and stuff. I intended to include you in the birthing thread but then we decided to have the puppies arrive early and things happened really fast from there. :)

Raven grinned, glad that her words heartened him, and accepted his hug with affection. As he pressed into her, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him tightly to her, feeling a sense of peace and satisfaction settle over her that she hadn't realized she'd been missing in the absence of her friend. He was perhaps the oldest friend she had — excepting Wildfire, of course [/mdash] and things just weren't the same without his sweet, affable presence in her life. As they parted, she nosed his cheek gently and flashed him another warm smile. "Either I or Quixote will call to you when it's time, okay?" she commented, not realizing at that moment that things would happen very differently when that time came a few days too early.

no problem! and yep, i am working towards the mastery :-) would love a new thread soon! :D

Raven said that she or Quixote would call Eljay when the birthing would happen, and he nodded. He'd be waiting and would make sure he was ready, too. Eljay closed his eyes and nosed Raven's neck in their parting hug and then he turned around to leave. "I'll bring by some herbs for the birth later," he called over his shoulder, and then Eljay set off to go and look for said herbs. It was maybe two years ago that Raven herself had taught him about herbs and told him which ones to get, when he was learning to help aunt Fox and mommy through their pregnancies, and Eljay was glad he could use that knowledge to help Raven today.