Redhawk Caldera the shoulder you cry on

They were all huddled together and Eljay spent most of his nights huddled up closed to mommy @Finley , daddy @Elwood , the pups, and whoever else was close, in or out of their family. He actually liked them all hauled down here together, even if it was extreme circumstances that'd called for it. Of course, he also worried for a great many things, his health among those things; he hadn't been in very good shape at the start of this winter in the wake of mommy's long departure, and he should've taken better care of himself. He was afraid to die, and he didn't want to die, not anymore. Uncle P and Petey had made it clear that it wasn't his time yet, that he needed to stay here to take care of things.

He'd gone out to look for food even though he felt cold to the bone, and had been lucky enough to find a frozen rabbit. He wasn't sure it could be eaten without thawing it first, but he'd see about that when returning to the safe haven. After making his way through the snow Eljay arrived there and he shook the snow off his fur and looked around, hoping that @Raven was here so he could give her the food. She needed it most of them all, even more than he.

Hoping he might tire himself out, Raven let little "Fidget" (@Phox) lead her around the cave. She didn't even stop him when he started moving toward the back, where several tunnels led to who-knows-where. If he tried to escape, the Gamma could easily overtake the tottering pup. But he didn't, he just waddled around the walls and then began leading her back toward the group. He seemed to be tired of exploring and instead tackled one of his sisters.

Now that she could take her eyes off him for a second, she looked up just in time to see Eljay stride into the cave with a frozen rabbit in his mouth. Raven's tail stirred behind her and she licked her chops at the sight of the food. The moose meat was nearly gone now and she was often ravenous from nursing the pups. Hoping he meant it for her, she padded closer to him with a beseeching look in her yellow gaze.

Just as he stepped in, Raven seemed to be done with one of the pups. They look fairly docile — for the moment — and Eljay put down the frozen meat. One look at Raven told him that she was hungry and was hoping to get a munch off the food he'd brought. He nodded, wanting to quell any worry she might have that the food wasn't for her. "I uh, I dunno if it needs to thaw first..?" he murmured imploringly, not really sure what was best. Like, should he sit on it? But he would feel awkward if he'd go and sit on it and then it turned out that he didn't even need to.

Eljay glanced at the pups, which seemed to be fine for the moment, then to the piece of rabbit he'd found. It wasn't much, maybe half a rabbit, but it was better than nothing. He glumly realised that he wasn't even much worse at hunting in this cold than he had been with moving targets; there was less of it, but it was easier to catch because it didn't run away when he had a good haul like this one.

It wasn't a whole rabbit and it wasn't thawed, either, but that wasn't going to stop her. "Thank you," she said simply, hooking the meat with her dainty black toes and dragging it closer so that she could sink her teeth into it. It was a little hard to tear off chunks, yet she managed. Once the morsels were in her mouth, they softened and she was able to chew and swallow. It wasn't long before Raven polished off the remains and licked the scraps off the cave floor.

She had eaten standing up but she took a seat now. Even as her hindquarters made contact with the icy cold floor, something—rather, someone—bumped into her. "Hi there," she said, smiling down at one of the "twins" (@Oriole). He peered up at her for a moment, then blinked over at Eljay and began bumbling toward the scrawny Blackthorn.

Raven answered the question wordlessly by taking the food and eating every last scrap off it. Eljay felt his stomach rumble a little as he watched her eat, but he'd rather have Raven and the pups survive than he, if he had to choose. He looked away, at the pups, unable to watch while he was so hungry himself, and so he'd noticed the pup's approach before Raven even settled down.

It took his mind off the hunger and Eljay smiled as he watched the pup make its way towards him. "Hey little buddy!" he crooned with a soft tone to his voice, and he lay down on the ground, knowing that it made it easier for pups to make contact. "Yes, that's right, over here buddy, come to Jay-jay!" He smiled softly as he encouraged the pup, feeling his heart lighten to see that the pup's path was still headed towards him.

Where there was one puppy, there were usually five puppies, and now was no different. Not to be left behind by their brother, the other four came waddling (and stumbling and falling) over to the recently returned Eljay. A few of them bumped into Raven in passing—one rubbed, kitten-like, against her right foreleg—but they were more interested in the slender gray Delta right now.

"They seem to like you a lot," Raven observed with a smile, yellow eyes trailing over one pup—the pale, rowdy @Titmouse—as he obsessively licked the floor where the meat had lain a few moments ago.

Eljay had a gleeful expression on his face as the pups waddled towards him. The cold was forgotten for a moment and he nuzzled against Oriole's face as he was reached, while the other pups streamed towards him too. He watched as one of the pups was licking the place where the food had been and said, "That's a smart one." It gave good promise for his survivability, really, that he would find the place where there had been meat, and it also meant it'd be easy to transition him from milk, he figured; something Raven desperately needed with the harsh weather and bad conditions, as soon as they were able.

"Aw, thanks... I hope so." When some of the other pups reached him, gingerly placed nuzzles were given to each of them too. He looked up at Raven and said, "Do you think... Will the other puppies all survive, you think? I... Because of the cold, I mean." He wasn't sure if he should've said anything now that the words were out, because thinking of any of the pups dying was a terrible thought.

The pups couldn't hear yet, much less understand, but Raven felt herself stiffen at the question and look down at them as if to check if they'd overheard. They hadn't, of course, and she felt a little tingle of relief before her yellow eyes climbed back up to Eljay's face. Her ears fell backward a bit at the thought of losing another pup. It was a very real fear and she couldn't fault him for asking, though it wasn't really something Raven wanted to think about, either.

"We're doing our best to prevent that from happening again," she murmured in response, referring not only to herself and her godparents but the rest of the pack as well. "There are no guarantees," the Gamma added, thinking it important not to sugarcoat things for Eljay. He ought to be prepared for the possibilities, grim as they were, so if something did happen, it wouldn't crush him.

"But they're all perfectly healthy," the caregiver continued in the next breath, smiling and reaching out to poke Titmouse's rear. He jumped with a startled yelp, then abandoned his floor-licking to turn and pounce her forepaw. He began to gnaw, his new milk teeth poking uncomfortably at her flesh, but Raven tolerated it for the moment.

There was no answer to his question, of course, not really. Nobody could predict if the pups would live or die. Nature was unpredictable, even if they all seemed good and healthy new. Eljay frowned as he looked at the pups, hoping they would all be okay. One of them was gnawing on his toes and Eljay giggled at the ticklish feeling.

"I'm glad they're healthy, hopefully they will all survive," Eljay shared with a soft, thoughtful smile. He didn't want to think about potentially losing any of the pups, either, so maybe the subject was best put to ease.

Raven nodded, though she didn't say anything more on the subject. All they could do was keep the pups safe and healthy, at least to the best of their ability. They could not prevent illness or accidents completely, though she supposed they were better off in that regard than a typical litter. Although their parents were dead, they had not only two godparents but a medic for a wet nurse, a qualified sitter and several other pack mates around to help keep an eye on things.

"Did you know they can eat pre-chewed meat already?" the Gamma asked, glancing at Eljay's face. "Their little milk teeth have come in." She didn't bother mentioning the havoc it wreaked on her teats. "If you want, you can try feeding them..." she hinted, unsure whether he had anything in his belly to give them. Judging by the scrawny look of him, probably not. "Or I can demonstrate," she offered, since she had just eaten.

Instead of waiting for a response, the she-wolf moved closer to the pups and lowered her head. Several of them crowded around her, nosing and licking at the corners of her mouth. This naturally triggered Raven's regurgitation reflex. Her jaws parted in what looked like a yawn, although it was accompanied by a faint gagging noise and a small wad of pulpy meat. The nearest puppies immediately lost interest in her as she straightened up, instead nibbling at her offering.

"Ooh, really?" he said, surprised. "That's fast, isn't it? I feel like it's fast." But maybe time had just flown by faster than normally the past weeks. He tried to calculate how old they were by now but it seemed like so much had happened since they were born, and at the same time like it was yesterday.

"Oh, yes," Eljay said, but even as he said it Raven was already demonstrating. He'd done this a lot with his younger siblings, of course, and even with the previous batch of firebirds a few times because he used to help look over them. It wasn't anything new to him. He smiled as he watched the pups flock towards the food rather than keep interested in them.

One of them continued to nom on Eljay's toe and he said quietly, "Don't miss out on the noms," while he nosed the pup towards the pile of food.

Raven straightened, licking her chops quite vigorously to get rid of the acidic juices coating her mouth. She stepped around the pile of mush to stand closer to Eljay, the two of them observing the pups in tandem. Except for the little straggler by the Delta's feet, they threw themselves at the food rather enthusiastically. It was a good sign that they were healthy and would continue to grow at warp speed.

"They really do grow up fast," she mused, having heard the phrase before but never really appreciating the reality until now. "They'll probably tower over us soon," Raven quipped. Both she and Eljay were rather average in size and, for whatever reason—perhaps because they ate like pigs—she assumed they would all get rather large. "I wonder who they'll take after in size, actually." Would they be tall and rangy, like Peregrine? Or stay petite, like Fox? Maybe they'd fall somewhere in the middle? More likely than not, it would be a nice blend of all of the above.

Eljay finally managed to get the last pup to the food. At first it seemed insulted and didn't want to move over, but once it reached the food the struggles stopped and it seemed to finally realise why it was sent here. Eljay looked back at Raven and smiled, happy all the pups were now eagerly eating.

He wondered what size they would be. Raven seemed to assume they'd all be large, but Fox had been small, too. "Yeah," he agreed quietly, but wasn't sure what else to say. He hoped they wouldn't look too much like Uncle P and Aunt Fox, because somehow it seemed like it'd make missing them worse, but they seemed to have bits and pieces of both, so far.

They reached a natural lull in the conversation and Raven didn't feel any particular need to fill it. There were other needs that did float to the surface of her mind now that she had a moment's peace. Luckily, she wasn't hungry, thanks to Eljay here. She was tired but that was the norm these days. More than anything, she kind of wanted a break, just a short spell away from the cave so she could get some fresh air and stretch her legs.

"Do you care if I step out for a bit? I think your mom and dad are just outside," the Gamma said, blinking over at Eljay. "But I think you'll be just fine," she added, glancing at the feeding puppies. There were many of them but they were still small, slow and relatively easy to wrangle. Plus, they were currently distracted. Ears perking, her yellow eyes returned to Eljay's face, awaiting his answer.

"Oh, yes, of course," Eljay said, at first thinking Raven wanted to take a break with him, a walk or something. Mommy and daddy were right inside, after all. He got ready to leave, but then Raven said 'you'll be fine' and he realised that he wasn't intended to tag along.

"See you later," he awkwardly filled in, trying not to let it show that he misinterpreted at first. He'd stay here with the pups, which was totally fine and fun, too.

She didn't notice his awkwardness (at least no more than usual). Raven shot him a grateful smile. It was tempting to simply dash out the door, though she took a moment to say, "See you in a bit, kiddos." None of them really reacted; they were still too preoccupied with the food and one another. Lips twitching, the Gamma finally spun on a heel and quickly disappeared into the portal of light at the mouth of the cave.