Phoenix Maplewood the thrill

What a fucking knucklehead. Crow and Merlin both. Stupid, stupid boys with their stupid, stupid words. "Chill out" and "calm down" were to phrases Sequoia was sick to death of hearing. So much for her plans of finding a cute boy to help her forget her troubles. All they seemed to do was create more troubles. She knew this was no way to go about fixing her problems, but she also knew she needed to blow off some steam. Once again, she sought the company of a warm body. She managed to put on a brighter expression, deciding the best way to show up all the stupid men in her life was to manipulate her way into one of their lives and ruin it.

She might have been able to do it to Mahler, but fucking around at home didn't seem like a great idea if she wanted to stay there at least through the winter. Besides, she could always disguise these trips away from her new home as a means of recruiting new blood for Sagtannet. That was, after all, what she had told Mahler. And hey, he was a sweet old man or something like that. He certainly didn't have any interest in her, and maybe it was better that way. Keep her interests outside of the pack. Distant.

Sequoia took a deep breath and continued through the forest, eyes and ears alert for anybody who might be lurking nearby.

If Kiwi was searching for interesting, then she was about to find it.

Sequoia was likely the last wolf that she expected to run into, so when she spotted her, she took little note.  In fact, she hadn't spared her a thought in months... not since leaving this place behind.  Yami had been her focus, her drive, and it was a bit of pretty coincidence that her old would appear as soon as she had shrugged off the new.

It was her unmistakeable appearance that clued Kiwi in and made her freeze with an unreadable expression.  Surprise was probably the most apparent thing.

At first she thought it probably wasn't worth it.  She was done chasing old ghosts, done seeking approval.  She'd buried her past with her mother and she had no family now.  Still, something stopped her from leaving, and instead she just stared... what was she even doing here?

WC: 151

There had been a time when Sequoia and Kiwi were nearly inseparable. Wildfire had been alive then, having just given birth to Elfie and Weejay. They'd made their home in Sun Mote Copse, but Sequoia had bigger dreams. She had acted on them for a time, traveling around to various packs, learning what was unique about each one. When she had checked in at the Frosthawks on the way back and learned what Kiwi had done, she couldn't go back to that place. So much had happened in the short amount of time Sequoia had been away, and learning that her best friend had murdered Colt just gutted her.

What was meant to be a short summer vacation had turned into a year of heartache, fighting, and chaos for Sequoia.

When she spotted Kiwi, she had to do a double-take. She hadn't known what her former best friend had planned on doing once she killed the Firebirds leader, but it appeared she was somehow still alive. How the rest of the pack had let her live was still a mystery to Sequoia. And yet... she had only heard one side of the story. She wanted there to be an explanation for what felt like Kiwi's inexplicable actions.

The fuck, Kiwi?

Kiwi, on the other hand, had heard nothing of Sequoia after she left the Firebirds.  She hadn't bothered to keep up with her former friend after she'd 'abandoned' her, and after she left post killing that traitor, she'd obviously kept clear.  She had figured she'd never see her again and been perfectly okay with that as assumption, as ready to leave her behind as she had been the rest of her siblings.  None of them deserved her.

But here she was again, asking a question that Kiwi didn't know what to make of.  The fuck what? If anything, that was her question to ask.  Why was she skulking around Nova Peak?

Been a while, she said instead, her tone cool but familiar.  She wasn't too keen on making nice with Sequoia, but that didn't mean she wasn't intrigued.  What was she up to nowadays?

WC: 144

She didn't make any mention of her past deed, and part of Sequoia wanted to just forget it. Maybe she could pretend it hadn't happened, but she knew that wasn't an option. Kiwi had broken a piece of Sequoia long before Crow had even come into the picture, and that was hard to deal with. It was something she had not wanted to face, but with those green eyes staring back at her, she knew she had to.

Heard you murdered Colt, Sequoia said. Her tone was flat, attempting to mimic Kiwi's cool nature, but it would have been obvious that she was anything but cool on the inside. On the inside, it felt like a tornado of emotions, none of which were good.

She wanted Kiwi to tell her that wasn't true. She wanted her to say that it was all a big misunderstanding, that the death had been accidental and the blame had been pinned on her unfairly. And maybe that was the case. Sequioa hadn't been there, so she couldn't know. She had left Wildfire and Kiwi on good terms, or so she thought, and had only been gone for the summer. How could everything have changed so quickly last year?

Oh, right, of course.  So Sequoia had heard, and from the way she said it - murdered - Kiwi could assume what she thought of her as a result.  Typical Sequoia to trust them over her, and typical them to pin the entire thing on her as if it wasn't their fault to begin with.  Her eyes narrowed, but inversely, her lips turned up into a small smile.

Yeah?  Heard that from them, did you?  She asked, her tone teasing, borderline scathing.  Of course I murdered him.  And of course, typical, you assume they're right and I'm wrong for that.  Pathetic.

Sequoia pretended to be her friend all along when they were kids, but Kiwi should have assumed she'd always be looking for someone better.  Joke's on her - she was never going to find anyone better.  Because unlike other wolves, when Kiwi cared about someone, she didn't hesitate to do what needed to be done.  And she didn't back down on them just because shit got hard.

WC: 165

Then tell me what actually happened, Sequoia prompted immediately.

There it was, an open invitation for Kiwi to clear her name. Something which Sequoia desperately wanted her former(?) friend to do. It would tie up one chaotic point in her life, and Sequoia really, really needed that right now. She was giving Kiwi all the chances in the world, knowing that she probably shouldn't (knowing that Kiwi never would have given her those chances). But she couldn't help it. Sequoia had always looked up to Kiwi when they were kids, and she had to believe there was a reason for her actions, even if it was a misguided one.

She wanted an explanation?  Kiwi was so very tempted to tell her to fuck off and leave right there.  Still, something held her.  She didn't have Yami so, essentially, she no longer had anyone.  She could convince herself all day long that she would always be enough, but still... she found herself unable to simply walk way.

Fine.  Someone might as well hear the fucking truth.  They told me she got sick, but I know that's a lie.  She was fine when I left.  Convenient that as soon as I'm gone, she dies and he takes over.  Kiwi's tail rose, and a low growl resounded behind her words.  The conviction in them showed - she believed every word she was saying, whole-heartedly.  She wanted me to lead after her.  They knew that and they hated it.  He killed her when he had the chance, so I killed him for it.

She'd avenged Wildfire, and if she could have, she'd have taken that whole pack of cowards with him.  She didn't know if they'd had a part in it but they sure as hell had a part in covering it up.  Her mom had deserved better than them, and Kiwi hoped they all rotted.

WC: 202

Kiwi spoke, and in that moment, Sequoia knew she was telling the truth. She would have known if Kiwi was lying. Her expression twisted from shock to horror when she learned what Colt had done, what the Firebirds had done. Sequoia also knew that Kiwi had been in line to lead. Both of them had been the very first Honorees of the Firebirds. Sequoia had been on a path to leadership as well, and she might very well have returned to that path when she returned to the Firebirds.

If Colt hadn't murdered Wildfire.

Sequoia's tail lashed. Colt had ruined everything. The rest of them had taken his side, even when Kiwi had avenged Wildfire's death.

I believe you, she said. That fucknut ruined everything for us, didn't he?

Sequoia seemed to take everything she said at first word.  She didn't take their side or try to argue as Kiwi had expected.  They messed up everything, she agreed, matching.  But then again... Yami believed you too.. And that hadn't stopped her from abandoning.

And you weren't there.  She said.  The small moment of solidarity was gone and Kiwi was back to that edge, the note of spite behind her voice.  She hadn't been there when it happened either, but she'd been alone.  They hadn't ruined shit for Sequoia - she'd ruined everything too by leaving.  

As tempting as it was to forget that (it was weirdly tempting) Kiwi couldn't just let it go.

WC: 113

The "you weren't there" really stung, sucking out any chance Sequoia felt she'd had with Kiwi. She remembered the rift between Bat and Kiwi, remembering how neither of them were ever able to really reconcile. Had Bat even reconciled with Wildfire? Sequoia wasn't sure. Maybe some things weren't meant to be. Maybe her relationship with Kiwi was one of those things.

No, I wasn't, she said, but there was no regret in her voice. Kiwi would get no apology from her. There was no way to know what Colt was going to do. When Sequoia had left, things had seemed perfectly fine. She would not have gone of they hadn't been. Sequoia was through bending over for everybody who wanted her to, and maybe Kiwi was, too. At least Sequoia could relate to that after the dumpster fire that was her relationship with Crow.

Kiwi could have gone with Sequoia when she had left, but she'd chosen not to. She had wanted to stay with the Firebirds. And it wasn't as though Sequoia had no return date. She would have come back before winter if it hadn't been for Wildfire's and Colt's deaths. Wildfire and Kiwi had been her entire reason for leaving her home, and to not have either of them there... well, it hadn't made any sense to return.

They were on a line that Kiwi had been on a good many times.  She had a choice here - to forgive or to double down and, quite likely, lose Sequoia forever.  She always made the same damn choice and it always came with the same damn outcome.  It was too bad that, to her, the choice had already been made.  Sequoia had made it when she left, and nothing short of prioritizing her could convince Kiwi she wouldn't make the same choice again.  She always deserved more.

Then I guess it isn't your problem, is it.  It could have been a question but Kiwi let it flatten as a statement.  They were hers to ruin and one day she'd see them fall just like Drageda had.  Just like every pack inevitably did.  Nothing was made to last - not her and her mom, not her and Yami, and certainly not her and Sequoia.  

There wasn't anything else to say.  She stayed where she was for only a moment, watching Sequoia almost uknowingly for any reaction.  In another moment she'd turn and walk, disappearing just as surely as she came.  She could find another place to wander; the peak was over anyway.

WC: 200

It wasn't fair. None of it was, really. Sequoia could have resisted. She could have begged Kiwi for forgiveness, but she would not. No longer would she let others in that close. Not after what Crow had done to her.

Kiwi turned, and Sequoia watched as she walked away. Anger and hurt boiled in her chest. It boiled for Crow. It boiled for Colt. It boiled for Kiwi. Whatever once was between them had shattered, and both of them were far too proud to pick up the pieces to mend it.

Sequoia flicked her tail, noting the sun's position in the sky. She would return to the cracked stone empty-handed this time, but there would be plenty of opportunities to find worthy men recruits.

"Kiwi would only have been a distraction," she told herself. "And she probably would have stolen any viable men away."