Broken Antler Fen Largo

@Eljay , if you have time!

Brecheliant's numbers had dwindled, since Lele had joined. Some youngsters had gone out in the world, some adults had been there for a while and then disappeared without a trace. Though the she-wolf worried a little that a small pack was at a disadvantage, when it came to survival, she also felt happier now that there was only a handful people that she needed to get to know to. It felt right and easier to accomplish than before. 

Well... maybe not exactly. She had not got on the right foot with Eljay and she had not approached him since their first and last closer, but very awkward encounter. Now, in a better state of mind, she regretted being defensive and curt with him. It felt even worse, because he was a kind soul. So, what better way to bribe to bring an olive branch, if not in a form of gift? And this she had - for the first time in several weeks after gazillion failures she had caught a fish. 

Lele felt proud for the accomplishment and in part she wished to have someone to share her joy. So, off to the densites she was, bringing the precious gift with her, holding it as tenderly as she could, in order tod eliver it in one piece.

The children were off playing. They were getting older, and it showed very much in the way that they weren't always around the densite anymore. Sometimes they even went just beyond Brecheliant's borders. Eljay was just enjoying a moment of peace when he heard Ukulele's approach. Lele and Eljay had gotten off on the wrong foot a little; at least it seemed like they didn't have a lot in common. Lele was family, though, and Eljay had given some thought on how they could be closer. He had thought he should seek out Lele sometime so they could hopefully find some common ground this time.

The scent of fish hadn't gone unnoticed to him, and Eljay's ears perked forward as Lele came into view. He greeted her with a smile. Wow, you caught a fish? Well done! He had been trying to teach the children to fish a bit (but he wasn't very good at it himself, which didn't help), so Eljay found himself easily reverting to praise. Especially since he was not very good at fishing himself, catching such a slippery creature was an admirable feat.

Breaking the fourth wall Me thinks that it is a nice payback for all the times Wraen felt helpless by yet again unknowingly stepping on his feet, because second meeting with Lele, both intent on starting things on a better foot a-a-a-and... that greeting and praise made Lele confused and speechless (if, of course, fish in the jaws was not already a factor, why she was unable to say anything). It was well meant, but it made her feel as if she was a little kid or someone that was fishing for compliments and approval. 

"Uh-oh..." she replied, remembering then to put the fish on the ground. "Uh... yeah... first one ever caught," she said, feeling very uneasy. "Thought you may like it as a gift. Or not. Do, what you want with it," she added with an awkward smile and a wag of her tail.

Something seemed off about Lele, but then again, maybe she was just always a little awkward? Eljay hesitated to ask if she was okay, but ended up waiting for now. Maybe it would pass on its own. Lele then suggested that it could be a gift, that he might like it as a gift (or not..?) or that he could do whatever he wanted with it.

Well, first things first, Eljay decided to confirm that he did in fact liked it as a gift. Thanks, that's very thoughtful of you, he said with a soft smile. I really like fish, but uh, I'm not that good at catching the slippery fellows myself. So I appreciate it whenever someone brings me one. It's quite a feat. Again he smiled, though he tried not to be too exaggeratingly praising. Eljay knew it could feel awkward being put on the spot for something you did well, even if it was the truth.

"Not much feast from this one," Lele pointed out, having misheard Eljay's praise. A fish to feed the whole pack would have to be huge and as water-rich the lands were, not big enough for a beast of that size. She then remembered that it was probably her turn to pick up the conversation and she racked her brain, trying to find a question that she wanted to hear an answer to. The most common - "what do you do for fun?" - had already been used before and with miserable results. "What are you good at that then, if not fishing?" - may sound as if she was patronizing the fellow. You did not do that to a leader. Much less to person, who you wanted to befriend. 

"How's wife and kids?" - "Good!" Crap, being social was difficult after such a long time of disuse. "Uh... can I be useful with anything else?" she blurted out, half-hoping that Eljay would say "no" and free her from this situation. Perhaps, the third time at friend-making would be the lucky one?

Eljay wondered if Ukulele had said 'feast' or repeated his 'feat' comment. Was she just being humble? Or..? Eljay blinked, a little confused, and he just smiled sheepishly in the end, not sure what to say and feeling kind of silly. He wasn't sure why his interactions with Lele were always so rusty. Maybe they just didn't gel, or something. He'd forgotten what that felt like being in Brecheliant, where most wolves were pretty laid back, friendly, and somehow gelled well with him.

It seemed a bit like Lele felt as awkward as him, when she blurted out if there was anything she could do to help. Eljay wished he could free them both from the uncomfortable situation. In the end he gathered all of his courage and instead said: Maybe we could go hunting together? He'd wanted to make a light-hearted comment about the apparent awkwardness of the situation, but in the end he couldn't get himself to do it. So instead he took the coward's way out and suggested a different something to do. Something that didn't involve a lot of talking.

That had worked like a dream, hadn't it? She thought to herself sarcastically. Apparently Lele's nervousness about the situation was contagious and now Eljay was feeling truly uncomfortable too. Her mind probably exaggerated a little too much of, what was going on here. She did not know him that well, therefore she attributed all of his uneasiness to her. 

Therefore, when he suggested to go hunting, to give them both a chance to escape, she pounced at it. "Yes, of course," she nodded in agreement. "Where to?"

Lele seemed as eager as he was to get out of the situation and eagerly accepted the offer to go hunting. She asked where to, and Eljay thought for a moment. Let me just put this away, he said, gesturing at the fish, and he headed into the den with it, where he buried it to mask the scent. If Maia or the kids returned soon they could have a bite, but otherwise Eljay would gladly eat it when he returned.

Then as he headed out he suggested, Shall we check the thicket and try to find some deer? If we're lucky, we can hunt something, but if there's no easy picks we can scout out and gather the pack later. Presuming that Lele would follow, Eljay started heading towards the part of the woods where he'd last seen deer. The only thing he hadn't considered was that they would be walking for a little bit, which invited more awkwardness.

"We can do that," Lele agreed and followed Eljay. Where the path allowed it she walked by his side, polite distance between them, when it got too narrow, she settled to walk directly behind him. "A deer would be lovely," she remarked, but did not have any hopes that they would be able to take down the prized meal. The snow was pretty deep and, even with skill, power and experience, it would take a lot of energy. But, who knew...

"I haven't poked much about the pack history and politics - would you care to enlighten me?" she asked after a moment of silence. "I knew of the allies in caldera," she mentioned, leaving out the fact that she just might had driven away one of them quite impolitely. "But I understand there are more," perhaps, enemies too. Everyone had at least one.

Lele seemed as relieved to move on to tracking and hunting as Eljay himself was. He wasn't sure why things were so rusty between them. Eljay hoped that some time would fix it. At least there was no ill intention though, as he sensed that Lele was as awkward around all of this as he himself was, and that made it a lot more bearable at least.

As they walked and silence threatened to fall between them, Lele solved the situation by asking about the pack. Lele mentioned there were more allies than just the Caldera, and honestly, Eljay himself wasn't so sure. He admitted, Teya does a lot of the communication with other packs. Even with the Caldera he'd only talked to Ruenna a few times. Never to Towhee herself. The Caldera are our allies. I have a lot of, uhm, family living there. I used to live there myself. He wasn't too sure about other packs, honestly.

Eljay decided to skim over that and instead talked more about Brecheliant in general. The pack was founded to be really familial, and a safe and comfortable place for everyone in it. I don't really see myself as a typical Alpha, you know, but more like I'm here to help the pack along and make sure everyone is comfortable. It was founded by a few wolves, of which Maia and Teya, and some who aren't with us anymore — Ibis and Wraen. He thought of Bridget as well, but he didn't want to mention her because she was still out there and he had hopes she may return one day. Besides, he didn't remember precisely who'd been there to found the pack, and Teya and Maia were the most important ones of the alive ones, in his book.

"What do you mean by "typical alpha"?" Lele asked curiously, because her idea of leadership was well... there were no rolemodels she could speak of, to put it briefly. She had respected Larkspur because of her temper and dad had been just dad. The concept that the leading wolf of the pack required certain character traits and sat on a throne was foreign to her. 

"That's how life goes - people are there for a moment and then they are gone," she remarked, when Eljay mentioned two wolves, who had passed away, before her arrival here. "Do your parents still live at caldera?" she asked, thinking that Eljay was younger than his actual years and therefore the possibility of his mom and dad still going strong not too far from reality.

Eljay felt his cheeks flush when Lele asked what he meant by 'typical alpha', feeling a little scrutinised. She didn't sound scrutinising or anything, but he felt like maybe he was insulting someone. He could imagine that. He said, Oh, uhm, I mean, hierarchical and stuff. I'm not that uh, dominant. It was hard to explain what he meant precisely, because he mostly went off his own experience. Which was mostly just Redhawk Caldera wolves. And Wildfire, but she too hadn't been a 'typical alpha' in his view.

When Lele asked if his parents were still alive, Eljay shook his head and frowned. No. They passed away uhm, a few years ago. He didn't even remember when exactly. It was a sensitive subject, but time had certainly made it easier to process — now that it was a third of a lifetime away for him, it had become easier. Which made him realise that he was fast approaching their age, when they passed. Just another year, really. It was an eerie thought, but Eljay kept it to himself for now.

"You mean - big, strong and a bully?" Lele spoke the first association with the term "dominant" that came to her mind. Strange. Looking back at the pack leaders she had happened to meet and talk to during her travels, none had struck her to fit this particular stereotype. Of course, a proper judgement of one's character is built over time and only, when you have got to know people, so - perhaps - those people had been all three things, when they did not have to present their best in front of strangers passing by. 

"I like the way you are," she told him. "Pack's calm," with the exception of Reyes, towards whom she harboured a particular dislike, but one bad egg did not spoil the whole eggbox. "That's good." 

Turned out that the question about parents had not been the right one, but there was a small solace in the fact that the event had not been recent. "Ways parted with mine and I do not know, what has happened to them," she shared. "Can't say, which is worse - not knowing or being sure that they are dead," she said to herself, opening herself up a little to him. "But I am pretty sure that they are no longer living. A lot of time has passed and there is only so much time given for us on this Earth."

Eljay wanted to say 'no, of course not' but he wasn't sure where to find the words. No, he didn't think that a leader should be a bully, of course. And he didn't want to say that Towhee'd been a bully, either. In the end though, he struggled to find the right words, and Lele instead mentioned that she thought he was a good leader, and that the pack was calm under him. Eljay smiled, feeling a little embarrassed; he'd never been good at taking a compliment. Oh, um, thanks, he said somewhat sheepishly, though he appreciated Lele's positive feedback.

From Lele's next words about parents, Eljay gathered that she didn't know whether her parents were alive or not. Oh, that's rough, Eljay said with a frown. Did you lose touch with them? What uhm, what makes you think they're not alive any longer? Lele didn't seem that old; had her parents been very old when she was born, Eljay wondered, that she thought this? Or was it just a rough life that had made her think this way about anyone's lifespan?

Lele may have appeared indifferent to her family's fate and she read that in Eljay's expression too. He probably was not a man, who accepted loss with the same ease his packmate did. It was not that she did not care or that it had not made her sad or slightly disappointed, when the little family of theirs, as dysfunctional and odd as it had been, had not lasted forever. But as she had told Lilitu before, the only thing you could truly rely on to be constant was change. It was simpler to embrace it than to cry for things that no longer existed. 

She wondered, how she may convey this in the right words, but an appearance of deer in the distance, offered her a perfect way out of a very complicated conversation. "Let's check them out," she suggested to the Auspex, happier to do something that did not require much reminiscence about past. 

Wrapping up my threads. Thank you for writing with me!