Bearclaw Valley part time love ain't my destiny

It had been embarassing, but it'd happened. Since the incident with @Indra and the doe, Blondine had made an effort of avoiding her friend, though it was evident that she couldn't hold out much longer. The bond between them had become unhealthy on Blondine's end, and though she didn't like having such a dependence on someone else, it wasn't something she would be able to fight.

Maybe we can try again, Blondine thought after finding the weather of the day to be more agreeable than she had been expecting. Tail waggin as she went, Blondine made her way to the territory's center to seek out her companion.

indra had thought at length about blondine's abrupt departure, though as the days passed the sting of her being left alone confused in the woods had mostly faded. childishly her feelings were hurt, and fear of embracing (or revisiting) that wound, she had not chased after any of blondine's scents since. she wanted to, but complex emotions that were very turbulent and very unclear, seemed to steel her against it.

she had a faint suspicion the abernathy woman had taken pains to avoid her; at the very least, she was insecurely convinced blondine no longer liked her. for that reason indra had taken her own care to avoid the woman as well, though it pained her to do so.

that day found indra on impetuous heels, gunning straight for outside the borders when she came across blondine. it was too late to turn around or pretend she had not seen the woman -- the snow was a poor concealer, and even then, the wind was not in her favor. stonily she slowed to a halt, her thin paws placed atop one another in a pigeon-footed stance that seemed both unsure and unwilling.

They were so much alike, Blondine and Indra; what they didn't share in personality, they made up for with their appearances. If they didn't look so much alike, Blondine might have thought to spend more time hating Indra's russet pelage. It had been the only thing on her mind and for that, she resented her. It wasn't fair that she was allowed to keep such a hold over anyone else, but especially Blondine.

The two of them stood frozen and silent for a completely necessary span of time before Blondine decided to break the silence. I'm sorry, she called out, though her voice lacked its normal confidence; there was something in her that didn't feel adequete enough to speak up.

they stood still, the rustle of the trees and the soft groan of sloughing snow the only sound between them. finally the russet woman spoke, breaching the icy silence with an apology that was stonily received. her amber gaze swept pointedly across blondine's henna features, a scowl etched thinly across her features.

their last encounter had baffled indra, and she had been slow to accept blondine's hasty departure as anything less than a crude slap in her face. a deep sigh expanded in her small chest and she looked away, unwilling to appear vulnerable despite their history. she wanted to reconcile, but she also was stubborn, perhaps a little too much so. "why?"

the question had been on the tip of her tongue for days, and finally now saw its moment. she was not asking why blondine was sorry -- but rather -- what manner of demons had hounded her russet companion and had compelled her to act so uncharacteristically that day?

Simple as it was, the question of "Why?" was more complex and multi-faceted than Blondine cared for it to be. There existed a plethora of reasonable answers, though she wasn't sure that she'd figured them out well enough to share. Even if she had, which one was Indra expecting? — why had Blondine run away? why had she avoided Indra? where was all of this coming from?

While Blondine likely knew which unspeakable answer went to which equally unspeakable question, it wasn't something she was sure enough of to admit. Best start with an easy one, she thought, before opening her mouth to speak. It ain't right that you had to see me like that, Blondine sighed, and it's nothing you did. I've just been off. That was one way to put it.

And I don't know why I didn't find you to apologize sooner. I should have; I was wrong.

a frostiness pained the redleaf girl's face as she searched blondine's expressions for a palpable answer. her pride was a stupid thing -- much as she wanted to smile softly and push the incident behind them, she was still stung by blondine's uncharacteristic departure. all else she didn't care one whit about -- the crying, or the distance -- but the deliberate quitting of her company had rowed indra far more than she wanted to admit.

she expelled a sigh into the air as she considered blondine's words, watching dully as the thin silver plumes rose from her muzzle and dissipated into the wind. "why have you been off?" it was the only question indra could muster; reconciliation was on the tip of her tongue, but she was just bitter enough to hold it over blondine's head before caving.

This feeling, it wasn't a good one. It was a no-good feeling and Blondine didn't like it one bit. An interaction like this shouldn't have to go over between anyone, but Blondine and Indra of all folks? They'd been like two peas in a pod, and because of one silly happening, that affection seemed to be slipping away. Blondine bit back a bitter hiss and fought the urge to yell, instead settling for a calm truth in hops of soothing her friend's hurt.

I've got someone I miss, she admitted. There was the whole I might be gay thing that'd been on her mind, but it had only been so prominent because of the fat, swollen, unchecked issues it was hiding. My brother, Grantville. He had been everything to her, and now Blondine resented him for making her hurt the way that he was. It ain't his fault, she thought, I'm the one who went and lost myself.

Winters had always been hard for him, but now that she wasn't there to care for and nurture him, Blondine wondered if he'd even made it at all. Before coming to the Valley, the only time she would hunt was when she was hunting for him. That hunt with Indra had made her realize that without Grantville around, she didn't have much of a reason for anything. When we first met, I'd just woken up out here. I remember a horrible snowstorm while I was out scoutin', then coming to on a mountain range. All I wanted was to go back and find my brother, but then I met you and Xan and I forgot about going home.

Some things, I just would have rather not remembered. You understand?

the girl listened sullenly, her ears trained to the side as to mulishly not betray the interest she had in blondine's words. she looked to the ground in morose silence, deliberating over the revelation of long-lost kin.

indra was not a stranger to the death of duty - particularly when it came to a sibling. her gaze trailed from the snow slowly, to the warmth of her friend's honeyed gaze -- she could not stay angry, and realized how childish she was being to a friend that hardly deserved the icy edge of her bitter blade, let alone the knife. 

"will you be leaving, then?" she asked somberly, her features drawn a frown of contemplation. typical, she thought -- that the second she liked someone, they walked out of her life forever.

The implication of Blondine's departure was enough to send her body backward a step, then forward twice over. Her head was shaking furiously in contest to the very idea, though she knew that it was a logical one to have, given the circumstances. No, Indra, she whined, I could never leave. Abernathy Hill had thrived long before Blondine's birth and it would continue for generations after, whether she was there with them or not.

Besides, she had a family here, now.

I love Grant, but I love you, too, and everyone else in this damned Valley. While the statement might have started off in a serious tone with ears flush to her skull, it was quick to taper off into a laughable admission of Blondine's feelings. The Valley had brought her nothing but emotional trauma and one hell of a battle scar, but she loved every part of it, including Indra's stubborn defiance.

horribly, indra felt sickeningly vindicated as blondine wheeled back from the accusation -- an accusation she regretted the moment she uttered it. ostensibly the girl did not utter a deserved apology, instead fixing her flat gaze on the woman.

indra thickly missed the intonation of the woman's words, if only because in her short life, she had never been exposed to any other sort of implication. reluctantly she released the begrudging expression that swallowed her face, and hoarsely uttered "we love you too. i'm glad you're not leaving." indra did not wish to entertain how sad she would have been if blondine had admitted to plans for departure.

It wasn't quite the response that Blondine had been hoping for, but it was enough to sate her for the time being. I couldn't leave you, Indra. You're stuck with me. Indra had been the second face that Blondine had seen when she first arrived, and the most recurring after that. Needless to say, it had also become her favorite. And I really am sorry for running away like that, it was cowardly.

indra thought she detected disappointment - but if it ever had a physical form, it was fleeting, and as soon as she thought she had sensed it, it was gone. for the first time in their conversation indra took blondine's one-eyed gaze in fully, holding the softness of the woman's features. she never wanted to be mad at her again -- it hadn't been right, she hadn't liked it, and she had been a miserable cow the entire time. she needed blondine, the woman had been her rock in ways only laurel measured up to: perhaps laurel was the wind that carried her through life, but blondine was her rudder, -- the ship that helped her navigate life's infuriating and injurious obstacles.

for the first time in a while, a smile played on the solemn girl's features. "i'm glad for that." she said, relief suddenly lifting the heavy tension that had rounded her shoulders. "you're stuck with me too... and.. i'm sorry i didn't come find you sooner. i shouldn't have done that." 

Indra's relaxation was just what Blondine needed to push her toward her friends side. There was hesitation in her touch, unsure of whether or not she was really out of the clear yet, but Blondine wanted Indra to know that the sentiment was genuine. If there was anywhere that she would want to be stuck, this was it; even with all of their drama and baggage, the wolves of the Valley were as close to a second family as she was going to get.

And Indra, she provided something more. Blondine was aware of the connection that they had and the need that she felt to maintain it, but because it didn't seem like this was common knowledge between the two of them, it was safer for her to (hesitantly) play it safe. This idn't sumn' I wanna keep around. Let bygones be bygones, right?

indra welcomed the woman's touch, brushing against her as her russet form swept towards her. like blondine indra knew their connection should be salvaged; other than laurel it was quite possible indra's only friend was blondine.

be it by choice, or circumstance, indra had let so few into the confines of her heart.

she nodded at the woman's quiet murmur, her eyes softer than they had been in weeks as she swung her head and butted it gently against her packmate. "bygones are bygones." she reaffirmed, feeling relieved that they had resolved the strange spat they had.