Arrow Lake gymnopedie

when she wasn't gathering herbs, she spent much time with the children. Sivullik, Tuvak, and Simmik. . .but to the others, her nephews and niece were @Stag, @Mesa, and @Monarch. she much preferred the other names, but Tahani could see why the simple monikers were easier for the Diasporans to grasp. after all, the healer still struggled greatly with the common tongue.

even more so, since she'd parted from Currituck. her daughter was a natural wanderer; Tahani was not. and the north was too cold for the brown-pelted girl, whereas the south was too warm for Tahani. they were a mismatch, through and through—but she loved Curri, and missed her with everything she had.

Takiyok's trio filled some of that hole in her heart, at least. she tried to roll with their punches, but god, they were strong children! strong and healthy: that was good. she'd heard through the grapevine that their father had died hunting, but at least they had Taki.

though one was missing. . .Atanik. "Ego," they called him. he'd run away after his father's demise, and if she had the strength, she'd search. Tahani ached for her sister, but her place was best here, with the remaining pups. with luck and faith, Atanik would return soon enough, and they would be nearly whole again. not completely. . .but sometimes "nearly" needed to be enough.

this afternoon, she lay outside the den, idly nosing around a pebble she'd found near the lakeshore. nearly perfectly round, opalescent—one of the most beautiful natural little things she'd ever seen.

She didn't understand the feelings surging inside her. They were all so confusing, and it had just been easier to settle on angry. But the anger grew every day, and now it was out of control. Sometimes, rage burned so hot inside her that she thought she might explode. And most of the time, she directed her rage at her mother. At times, she felt like she hated her, but she didn't hate her at all, she was just so upset and confused, and Monarch always just ended up blowing up on her, most of the time feeling like she didn't really have any control over herself.

It had happened again today. Her mother had only been trying to help her from where she had thrown a tantrum and fallen into the lake, and she had yelled at her and ran.

She kept running now, fur soaked with water and face with tears. She ran so fast that she didn't even see her aunt. She passed her in a white blur only to trip over her own feet and fall to the ground where she stayed as she was overcome with sobs.

her moseying about was interrupted by a pale figure suddenly on the scene, not unlike a blizzard rolling across the north. Tahani lifted her head, concerned, to see Takiyok's only daughter in a crumpled heap, crying. Simmik. . .but she remembered Mesa's tantrum regarding his own name the other day, and kept it in mind, rising to draw closer to the girl with a gentle expression.

Mon-arch, she crooned, breaking the name into two distinct syllables so she wouldn't stumble over it. she sat beside the sodden child, wanting to clean and dry her fur but unsure if such ministrations would be wanted at this time. instead, she remained a quiet presence, paws stretched out in front of her. what wrong, little dove?

the name she'd given Currituck; it made her at once happy and sad to use it, knowing that she may never see her own daughter again.

The question made her tense and bristle. Everything was wrong. She wanted to shout that at her aunt, but she couldn't stop crying long enough to say anything. Eventually, exhaustion took over, though, and her muscles couldn't hold the tension anymore. She slumped back against the ground and laid her head on her front paws. Silent tears continued their descent down her cheeks, but she couldn't muster the energy to say or do anything else. Her family member's presence was soothing now that she was unable to resist the comfort. She inhaled a few shakey breaths and the tears finally slowed, but she wasn't sure what to say now. She had only had outbursts lately, and now that she lacked the energy for that, she didn't know what to do other than lie there and be numb. Numb felt better than angry.

no words, just tears. she cried and cried, and all Tahani could do was draw closer, daring to run her muzzle along the crown of the girl's head, soothing the ruffled fur. she made gentle noises under her breath, like shushes but quieter still, soothing. like the ocean waves. . .like that island.

too hot, but so, so peaceful.

i am here, Monarch, Tahani murmured, planting a gentle kiss upon the tear-soaked cheek. i am here. she would talk in her own time, or she would not. either way, it mattered not to her auntie. when it came to the common tongue, it was probably best that they kept the conversation to a minimum.

Despite her anger and sadness, her aunt's words did start to actually make he feel a little better. Her tears slowed and finally stopped, leaving her sniffling against Tahani's fur. She still wasn't able to talk much, and so she remained silent for a few minutes, content to just stay within the safety of her family member's embrace. But soon her anger resurfaced, and she pulled away a little to rest her bleary gaze on her aunt's face. It's not fair, she whispered, her words exasperated and confused. What had she done to deserve this? Surely only something really awful could warrant the death of a parent while she was still so young. But she couldn't think of anything that justified her dad's death and was left with a dark pit of grief and devastation inside her. She had no idea how to deal with such strong emotions.