Redhawk Caldera angel of mercy

maybe @Allure ? :3

Eljay took his task of guarding for Uncle P and Aunt Fox very seriously — he let no one pass to their den and made sure that he informed everyone who wasn't his parents or the Alpha pair's direction family to make themselves scarce. He did this in the most careful and friendly of ways, Eljay being Eljay, asking them in a manner as though he was tiptoeing through a room of porcelain. After the weird stuff that happened with Nightjar Eljay just wanted to get out there and be helpful to the pack. He always liked being around Uncle P, anyway, 'cause he never really got told off for stuff and neither did he get pushed into doing stuff he didn't want to. There was always a choice (or so Eljay thought, anyway). Uncle P was so casual and that just made everything look so easy, and that made Eljay think that he could do it, too.

It was around midday that Eljay trotted around Redhawk Caldera territory, making sure the perimeter around the birthing den was all safe and sound. He was actually quite a while from the den (between borders and den), 'cause he figured that if he did run into someone who wanted to go there they might not listen and go there anyway, and this way he still had a lot of leeway to walk along and try to talk them oiut of that if that did happen. He looked more like he was just taking a walk than a patrol though, looking this way and that, his posture slumped and his gait sloppy.

Being a little vague about the bullying thread!

Elwood was glad that Peregrine had given Eljay a task. In just a few days, he would officially join the adult ranks, which would hopefully be a confidence booster in itself -- and in addition to that, he had an important job to dedicate his time to. The Beta was just as eager as Eljay to meet the pack's youngest members, but Fox wasn't allowing visitors just yet. Still, Elwood strayed towards the whelping den, and that was where he found his son.

"How's it going?" he called out as he approached, smiling at the sight of Eljay patrolling. He wanted to give the boy some tips and tell him to straighten his shoulders and stop slumping, but he refrained. It wasn't that important. He paused, tilting his ears towards the burrow in the distance that housed Fox and her brood. He imagined he could hear the mewls of four tiny pups. "Everything quiet on the home front?" he asked.

No one had approached in these days where the pups were young and fragile, but Eljay just kept patrolling and guarding and making sure no one got past. When finally someone arrived, sending a nervous and excited jolt through Eljay, it wasn't anyone on the no-go-list, though. It was just dad, and he was allowed to get closer, Uncle P'd said, even if he couldn't see the pups just yet, either, just like the rest of them.

"Hi dad," said Eljay, and he nipped his father's chin in respect. "Not very busy," admitted Eljay. He wished that he could have said that he had done a really good job and worked hard, but there wasn't all that much to work at, truthfully. "I was thinking maybe I should learn to be a caretaker so that I could always spend time with the pups." There was one giant 'but' lingering above Eljay's head, though, and his enthusiasm waned as he frowned and said, "But... I'm not sure if I'm any good to teach 'em, 'cause I'm not good at lots of things." He couldn't even hunt yet, let alone raise pups, Eljay glumly thought to himself.

"That's good," Elwood said as Eljay delivered a respectful nip to his chin and commented that there hadn't been any unwelcome passers-by. He hadn't anticipated that there would be much traffic near the den, as Peregrine and Fox had made their wishes clear. Even the newest members knew to avoid the area until the pups were a bit older.

His ears pricked when Eljay showed some interest in becoming a caretaker. It was especially exciting because this was a trade he had thought of on his own; while Elwood and Peregrine had both tried to nudge him into the role of a gamekeeper and Finley wanted to take him scouting, he seemed to have his own thoughts about working with youngsters. Unsurprisingly, he followed his statement with a self-deprecating comment, to which Elwood shook his head.

"I think that's a great idea, Eljay," he encouraged. "You would have plenty to teach them; the first couple of months of their lives, they'll have to learn everything. You can teach them how to play and how to get along with each other. You can tell them stories. You could even help them learn their way around the caldera." There were lots of opportunities that Eljay could seize, even if he didn't think he was particularly talented in any one area.

Eljay sat down, since it didn't look like nothing weird was gonna happen, anyway. He listened as daddy responded enthusiastically at least, which was a boost to his confidence in the matter. He was still unsure if he'd be any good at it, but the only thing he could do was try to find out. Eljay was terrified that he would muck things up, though. What if the pups turned out like him? The thought was terrifying, 'cause not only would Fox and Peregrine be seriously disappointed if they were, but also the poor pups would be teased by Nightjar all the time and poor Nightjar would have losers for siblings.

"I guess I'm..." Eljay hesitated, afraid to be put down for what he was about to say, but he needed to tell someone, anyway. "I'm kind of scared if I spend too much time with them they'll become, well, like me..." Eljay looked away, feeling kind of ashamed not just for what he said about himself (knowing daddy would disapprove, but everyone knew it was true that it'd be a bad thing if the litter would turn out like him, anyway) but also 'cause he hadn't turned out better desite his best efforts.

Despite Elwood's best efforts to encourage his son, Eljay's opinion of himself remained low. He was quiet for a moment, seeming to consider his dad's words, then voiced a very real concern. It would have been easy for Elwood to shrug it off and insist that it wasn't something Eljay needed to worry about, but it wasn't the first time he had said something like this. Plus, there was the whole Nightjar issue hovering in the back of Elwood's mind.

So the father sat down, facing his child. He wanted Eljay to know that he had his full attention. "I understand what you mean," he said first with a nod of his head, affirming Eljay's fears. "But even though you might not be the biggest or the strongest or the bravest -- that doesn't mean that you're not still an important part of the pack. Uncle P gave you this job because he trusts you. You're the kindest wolf I know, and a great listener." He smiled faintly, then changed his tactic with a question.

"What do you think you would like to do with the pups?" he asked. Perhaps the idea of "teaching" was intimidating to the soft-hearted Eljay, but simply spending time with the firebirds would be beneficial to their development.

Eljay had sort of hoped that daddy would get mad at least a little bit and tell him that he was totally fine and that if the pups turned out just like him, that that would be nothing but a good thing. Eljay hoped that daddy would react like Uncle P would've, with a dash of humour and pride in the things Eljay was good at, 'cause he always seemed to emphasis the good stuff rather than the bad stuff.

But instead daddy said, I understand what you mean. Eljay's eyes reflected the pain that this caused him, though he looked away and guiltily licked his lips to try and hide his feelings from his father. He knew that daddy didn't mean it poorly. And Eljay himself had been the one to bring it up. Daddy was only agreeing to what was already on the table, and if he hadn't wanted anyone to add onto it, then he shouldn't 've said it. It was his own fault that daddy confirmed that being like him wasn't a good thing — and that made Eljay only madder at himself.

Daddy said some good things then, but they felt a little like icing without a cake. What use was being listening kind if you weren't good at being social or if you couldn't provide for your pack? "Thanks daddy," Eljay murmured at the compliments. He was distracted from his inner turmoil by daddy's next question about what he wanted to do with the pups.

"Listen to 'em, I guess," he muttered, but then decided daddy didn't deserve this and quickly added: "I guess it would be nice to play with them and help them eat real food."

Of course, Elwood didn't mean his response in the way that Eljay took it. And despite the brief flicker of pain in his son's eyes, he remained completely unaware of his blunder. Thinking that his empathy was understood, he nodded as Eljay thanked him and then began to think out loud as to what activities he would like to participate in with the newest firebirds.

He smiled; although the pups wouldn't have much to say at first, he was glad that Eljay took his compliment about listening to heart (or so he thought!). Blissfully ignorant, he nodded again as the boy continued. "I think those are great ideas. You're gonna be an awesome big cousin," he said. His smile faded slightly as he remembered that he still wasn't sure if Eljay would become an older brother this year; the topic had fallen by the wayside when he and Finley found out about Nightjar's bullying. But he wanted to bring it back up to his mate soon.

The conversation went on, as these things often went on, even though time had seemed to halt for a moment in Eljay's world. On from Eljay's pain and insecurity towards things he could do with Aunt Fox and Uncle P's puppies; a happier subject, for sure. The fear still roared in his mind, especially now that daddy had confirmed that it wouldn't be a good thing if the puppies turned out like him. The silly thing was that Eljay didn't really want anyone telling him that the pups wouldn't turn out like him just because he spent time with them — he wanted someone to tell him that he had turned out totally fine. He wanted to feel loved and warm and not like he was a giant loser.

With the pit in his stomach still churning Eljay smiled a little when daddy said that he'd be an awesome big cousin. "I'm gonna do my best at helping raise them," said Eljay, a soft smile on his face. Not that he was saying anything that either of them didn't already know; after all, Eljay always tried his very best. "So uhm... Are mommy and you going to, uhm..?" asked Eljay, breaching the subject gingerly. He wanted to learn more about how to take care of pups, but also wondered what he could do before the birth, 'cause he'd brought Fox things but he hadn't been able to do anything to get the pups out safely. Maybe he could try to learn about that if mommy did have siblings in her tummy again.

The siblings were a very double-edged sword though; on the one hand, Eljay loved the idea of having pups to fawn over and teach all sorts of stuff, and maybe they would look up to him the way he looked up to Nightjar some day. Besides, somehow his parents having pups again was a confirmation that they loved him and thought he had turned out fine despite his obvious shortcomings. On the other hand, he was also afraid the pups might not like him as they grew older and bigger, and that mommy and daddy might love them more. What if they were going to be brave and headstrong, and nothing like Eljay? Then maybe it would confirm he was weird.

Although the miscommunication indicated otherwise, Elwood was proud of Eljay and knew that he really would give it his all to help raise Fox and Peregrine's puppies. It was a shame that he didn't realize the turmoil of his son's emotions so that he could reassure him of his faith in his abilities. He soon became distracted by Eljay's next question -- the inevitable inquiry about his own potential brothers and sisters.

Finley had dropped the subject like a hot potato as soon as they found out Nightjar was picking on Eljay, and neither parent had picked it up since then. So Elwood felt a little inadequate, realizing in that moment that he didn't have a proper answer for Eljay. "Well, we're still talking about it. There's a lot of planning that goes into it -- we have to talk to Fox and Peregrine first, too, and make sure that they will give us permission," he replied, beating around the bush only slightly.

Eljay didn't get a straight answer, and he wondered if it had anything to do with him that they were considering not doing it. If they were super excited, they would've already asked permission of Perry and Fox, after all.

"Oh," he said, looking confused for a moment while he tried to piece the information together. "Is..." A short pause. "Is it because of me that you're doubting..?" The question was posed carefully, as though he was walking through a room littered with fragile objects he didn't want to break; which was pretty much how he felt.

"No, no!" was Elwood's quick response to Eljay's question. He spoke the truth -- there was nothing about Eljay's personality that made him fear another litter with Finley. Despite his shortcomings, Eljay was well-liked by everyone in the pack and was slowly coming into his own. The circumstances surrounding his birth and childhood had been...well, different. Elwood didn't anticipate the same kind of problems going forward.

He shook his head firmly. Hadn't he told Eljay numerous times that he would make a great big brother? "No, it's just a big decision in general. Like I said, we have to get permission from Uncle P and Aunt Fox, and they'll probably want to make sure that the new firebirds are old enough. The pack can't support a whole bunch of puppies at once, so we all want the boys to be a little older first." Realizing that his explanation was sounding very logical and fact-oriented, he backtracked a bit. He might have been a left-brained wolf, but his son's worries were coming from an emotional place, not a reasonable one.

"But your mom and I love each other very much, and we love you very much, too. That's why we are thinking about it," he said with a soft smile.

"Oh," Eljay said and he nodded, "Yeah, that makes sense." He did hope that mommy and daddy would have puppies again, for even though they'd have less time for him, it would be kind of neat to have little siblings and he could help watch and raise them, too.

But there was something else that he thought about. He said, "Maybe if mommy did have puppies again, I could help with the pregnancy." Eljay had been intrigued by Fox' growing belly and he had wanted so badly to help — maybe if mommy did have pups, he could help not only raise and take care of them, but also deliver them. "Like, uhm, you know, make sure the puppies get there safely." He looked at daddy, feeling a little silly for suggesting this; was it a weird thought to want to help take care of the pregnancy and not just the pups..? He just wanted mommy to be safe.

Elwood was thankful that Eljay seemed to be placated by his response. The boy had enough worries -- the last thing Elwood wanted was for him to develop some sort of complex about his parents having another litter. Although the decision was still very much up in the air, there was a big piece of Elwood's heart that sincerely hoped that Finely would agree -- and not just acquiesce, but want the puppies just as much as he did.

He was surprised when Eljay made another suggestion. The youth expressed an interest in helping to deliver the puppies, which required an entirely different area of expertise. Honestly, Elwood thought it was a great idea -- but he was reminded that Redhawk Caldera was sorely lacking a healer. There wouldn't be anyone to mentor Eljay -- save for the mothers themselves -- but maybe he could become the pack's medic, with some practice.

"That's a good idea. You can talk to your mom about that and see what she says," he replied with an encouraging bob of his head. "You can probably learn a lot from her, and from talking to Fox, too." Surely both mothers would be willing to help.

Daddy seemed excited -- or at least positive in some way -- about the suggestion about helping deliver pups too, and Eljay's tail wagged a little at the positive feedback. He figured it would be difficult to learn properly how puppies were when they were inside a stomach but maybe he could practise with listening lots when mommy had her next pups. Besides, it meant he could spend lots of time with mommy and take care of her at the same time, and the same went for his new siblings-to-be.

The idea growing on him, Eljay smiled and said, "I'll ask mommy about it." Whether he would continue on with the idea hinged in big part on her response, though he hoped she would be as positive about it as he.

Want to wrap up? :)

"Good," Elwood replied when Eljay agreed. He wondered how Finley would feel about their son learning to care for pregnant females -- especially since they hadn't even fully decided on the probability of their next litter yet. He had the feeling that, until that discussion was had, there would be a lot of unanswered questions -- it seemed like nearly every conversation came full circle.

With a glance around, the Beta nodded his head. "Well, looks like you're taking good care of the security around here. I'm going to go hunt, so I'll see you later," he said. He really was proud that Eljay had stepped up to assist the Alphas at their request, and wanted to leave him to do his job so that he wouldn't feel like his dad was hovering. He reached out to nudge the youth's shoulder, then turned and padded away, heading for the flatlands near the outskirts where he would be more likely to find food quickly.

"See ya later, daddy," Eljay said and he nuzzled his father's face. He watched as his father took off to hunt something and thought more of the probability of him becoming a pup-deliverer, or, well, whatever it was called, really. He liked the idea, and wondered how things would further develop. For now, though, Eljay focussed on making sure that no one got through to Uncle P and Aunt Fox and their pups, while his mind daydreamed off towards what the puppies would look like and how cute they would be and how short it would be 'til he could first see them, and things like that.