Northstar Vale but if you close your eyes

sorry this is bad, I've been feeling ew :^(

Delight's arrival should have been welcome, but Alarian stiffened slightly when the other boy appeared. He didn't miss the closeness between his friend and the girl who had arrived, but didn't give it much thought; suddenly, he was rather self-conscious. Ali swallowed hard at Delight's question. The answer caught in his throat, heavy and unforgiving as if he had swallowed a stone. But then he was addressing the girl, Queenie, and the Governor was spared having to answer for the moment.
Thoughts of Runion had already bubbled to the surface— of his mother. He stifled the urge to cry as he watched Queenie leave. Part of him wanted to doubt his brother's ranting, but he knew it was the truth. It was twisted enough to be true, his brother wasn't cunning enough to lie— and he had seen Runion's face when he said it. The Keil siblings were an eclectic bunch— often to extremes, but they had all loved their mother. Alarian swallowed hard, nauseous again as he remembered Runion's particular brand of love; he didn't let himself think about them. He just hoped they were taken care of.
Ali realized he had left Delight waiting just a few beats too long. I ran into someone— He stopped and swallowed again, voice barely above a whisper. Someone who wants me dead.
He didn't know what else to say, couldn't bring himself to tell his friend everything now (if ever). After a few beats, words came to him again, unbidden and choked out this time: He killed my mother.
To him, it was true— it had to be; he knew his mother, knew she would never have agreed to carrying her son's litter. He knew that would drive her to suicide. The nausea intensified. Alarian turned his face away from Delight, unwilling to allow the other to see the rawness in his gaze. This moment should have been shared with Lanawyn, he thought bitterly, and for the barest moment resented the other boy. It was gone quickly; he was too exhausted now to hold onto irrational emotions. They all melted back into grief, in the end, and tears stung his eyes now.