Broken Boulder pattern evolving, motion insolvent

She went back home, He choked out bitterly, a little bewildered by Eris' lack of questioning about their argument, but— hey, he'd take it. Alarian was a mass of hurt and confusion, and if she wanted to be on his side, he wasn't about to stop her. Because she didn't feel wanted. Again, bitter.
Bitter because Lily had somewhere to go when she didn't feel wanted. Bitter because Lily had someone she knew wanted her. Bitter because he knew she was wanted here, too. Alarian knew what it was to feel unwanted— what it was to want to run. He didn't fault her for that. No— he just... he almost hated her, for having a family to return to— for doing just that, when she was meant to be part of his family.
I just couldn't— Alarian paused, swallowing hard. After— after Runion, and mom, so many things came rushing back; I couldn't be... I don't know, open enough for her, I guess? I know I'm— look, I know I'm shit with emotions and that kind of stuff— but I tried to tell her that. She just— she took it personally, when I didn't want to talk about like, my psycho fucking brother or my mom's death. Maybe— maybe normal people want to talk about that stuff, but I never advertised as normal.