Kildeer Rest john my beloved

The lie had not made everything better— he hadn't expected it would, really. But it made him feel a little more okay. Maybe— maybe he could learn to mean it. Maybe he could learn to love the way everyone else did; wholly, truthfully, carefully.
Or, more likely, he could— would— destroy this, and Ulf, between setting fire to everything else. He rose at the wolfdog's request, and would follow him home at a slight distance. Alarian still ached from the encounter; more accurately, from Aditya, but the stranger had aggravated the existing soreness. His posture sagged tiredly, expression hollow.
When they reached Bracken Sanctuary, he parted from Ulf wordlessly; or maybe the wolfdog followed him, when he bolted for the creek, tears stinging his eyes as he frantically sought to remove all traces of the affair. He didn't care either way. All he could feel was disgusting.