Ankyra Sound you're appealing to emotions that i simply do not have

He finds his own release only moments after Midar's, whining softly as it ripples through him. With release comes an unexpected rawness, as if his chest has suddenly been stripped of flesh. A shaky gasp slips from him as his lover withdraws. Oh, he thinks tiredly as blood-red hurt blooms deep in his chest, oh no. The pain is immediate and crippling, a crushing melancholy like a gushing wound at the center of his soul. He swallows hard, sucking in another shaking breath and staring into the sand with a hollow gaze.
The nausea comes first, acrid burning bile forcing its way up his throat as he struggles to swallow the feeling. His breath quickens, and tears follow shortly, hot and stinging and entirely unwanted. No, no, no, he thinks, overcome by an icy bolt of fear at the display. Not in front of Midar; not right after that. The first sob rips through him, a ragged, broken sound that startles him and seems to drain the last of his energy. He can't fight this — this awful feeling, whatever it is. He takes single step and collapses against his lover, sobbing anew. He'd only wanted to please Midar, to feel wanted, maybe even loved — but instead he feels used and disgusting, and he has none but himself to blame.