Neverwinter Forest Round these parts

But it had all started bubbling back up again when Simmik had come back. All the thoughts and feelings he thought he'd burned through before she'd gotten here suddenly fresh again because she hadn't known. He hated this scenario so very much, it made him hate himself even though he could have known what would have happened. And he hurt. And it hurt worse than other betrayals because it was his own doing.

Sorrow and anguish at imaginary lost chances tormented him. His short reply was raw and furious at himself, And so I didn't know and I ruined it. Mal turned his head sharply away from her, unable to even consider looking her in the eye. He didn't respond to her offer -- yet at least -- partially because here he was trying to hold his crumbled self together and for the moment that was plenty.