The Sentinels But you know I'm gonna play 'em for keeps

Of course Wraen was too smart to let her hide from it.  Thinking and talking about things like this was hard because it forced her to confront the idea that it was okay to want something for herself sometimes.  She was fine being selfish in the shallow ways; lazy, shirking things she didn't want to do.  But emotionally, the idea of asking for validation, or showing that she needed someone, was a lot to ask.  It meant she had to risk getting her hopes dashed when they couldn't give it.  Wasn't it better to just not need it in the first place?  If she could just be happy with what she had then it wasn't a problem.

It's not like I love him, she answered, looking away.  But the fake cheerfulness slid away as she gave up on trying to avoid the conversation.  And I know he doesn't love me.  So it's probably not worth it.  It hurts that he didn't want to come with, and I'm mad, but I'm not mad at him.  

Maia sighed.  I guess I'm mad at me, because I knew, but I still couldn't help it.  But if it ever happens, I'm not going to have to choose.  Because whoever I end up with is going to want to follow me, that or be okay with waiting sometimes. I know I can't just stay in one place.  

Then she smiled, this time for real, and leaned back into her sister.  It's probably not fair, but I get to choose where I go, and I wanted to come here.  They'll just have to keep up.  Kinda... like Arcturus, y'know? And you.  She eyed Wraen to see what reaction she got for that.  She didn't know if their friendship was like that, not at all, but it was clear that he liked her enough to want to come along.  That was a big deal.  It had made her jealous, honestly... but it made her happy too.

She didn't like the idea of splitting any more than Wraen did, but she didn't want to argue with it.  While she didn't plan on leaving anytime soon, she always wondered if there would come a time when her big sis would get tired of her constantly tailing after.    if that day ever came, she wanted to know... she didn't want her to lie and say she was always welcome.  She just wanted Wraen to be happy.