Neverwinter Forest the beach, the way the water felt-

Warmth, comfort. He probably would have wrapped Hua around him if he could have. When she licked his cheek, he pressed against her more. Why was life so awful and complicated? He'd just wanted things to be happy. Why did it go wrong? The whole thing had done a pretty good job at mangling his perspective, and his train of thought jumped  more than usual.

He understood the point Hua was making, but in his personal situation, it almost made things a little more distressing, and he countered, almost pleading, What if it isn't what he wants? He was angry and-- And then Cupid died. It was unresolved. Maybe based on what Hua had seen Cupid hadn't taken it too seriously any more, but Mal remembered. That was the most raw point -- the fact that they couldn't just do the wolf equivalent of shaking hands and saying things were all behind them now. Cupid had never been good at communicating with Mal, and that made it worse. What had he been thinking? Was he hated?

But at her suggestion of someone to look after him, he adamantly shook his head, No--no it's not about me. I have to make sure they're all ok -- I have to take care of Caerus and Liliana, I don't matter. Or that's what he'd been saying to basically everyone who tried to prioritize him. Which certainly wasn't in his best interests -- he would burn the candle at both ends and then some. He'd sort of avoided Hua, he'd avoided dallying around Aibreann. He couldn't get a hug out of Simmik... This was just how it had to be or something. He had to put his kids first because they mattered.