Redhawk Caldera wind in my hair, 'cause I don't care

Towhee agreed that they couldn't force them to stay. Disappointing, but realistic. She also suggested they keep trying, and said that maybe him and Maia being involved might make it easier. Honestly, Eljay wished that it would, but like Towhee said, he also didn't want to force her to make a choice between him and her sister. It just wasn't fair.

The next thing puzzled Eljay a bit. Cuckoo lady? he said, blinking in surprise. He hadn't heard about her, though he guessed that she had something to do with Moonspear. But yeah, it would be great if they could make up. Maybe if he knew who it was about, he could talk to her himself. He wasn't sure he could make an impact, but maybe if everyone tried to make a tiny impact, they could all solve things together. It was better than trying nothing, at least.

To his surprise, Towhee brought up Eljay possibly leaving them. Oh, uhm, he said and he looked away, clearly flustered by the thought. He'd contemplated leaving before, when they were still Firebirds, but somehow, now things were different. If he was to have another family some day, he'd want it right here, in the place that meant the most to him. On the other hand, he'd feel so dumb if he played away his chances at getting that family by being too stubborn to leave. Having gathered his thoughts, Eljay looked back up at Towhee and continued, Thanks for saying it. We haven't really discussed anything. I don't want to leave... He frowned again as he contemplated the possibility. He'd hated leaving Redhawk Caldera both times he had done so before — once because of his existential crisis and once because of the war with Blackfeather Woods — and he didn't want to at all. Just the thought made him feel panicked. But what if he lost it all because he was too stubborn to grow up, himself? Should he really risk it? His breathing became more rapid but calmed down again as he tried to gather his thoughts further. I guess we have to talk about it at some point. I'm just so afraid that she'll never want to live here. And I don't want to make her choose between me or Wraen, that's just not fair. If only he wasn't such a big baby and so afraid to travel. It would make things so much easier. He was so afraid to spend a lot of time just pining for Maia at the borders, but he was also terrified to go out and even more terrified to leave the safe haven of his parents' pack.