Hideaway Strath i think i might be scared

He was right.

Leigh was the type of wolf to overcomplicate things. It was just how she was. The she-wolf had a way of seeing the complexity of the world. She didn't just see a tree, she saw a heavily detailed system of lifeforms. She saw how the tree was structured, where it was placed and how that could potentially influence it's life expectancy. She saw a home for prey and the leaves forming a blanket to protect from the elements. Was it a useless skill? Most of the time. Was it an annoying skill? Definitetly. But it had some truth to it. Not everything was black and white. Not even the tiger-wolf.

They took turns listening to each other only to argue back and in some cases, totally contradict their words from earlier. The conversation wasn't getting anywhere but the woman saw it as an opportunity to vent her feelings. To express her true colors to Kynareth and rid of this "sweet cinnamon roll" bullshit that kept following her around. She was no cinnamon roll. She was the god damn oven who burns fucking muffins.

"The only reason you choose evil over good is because it's fucking easy. Evil asks nothing of you. It requires no courage, dignity, or willpower to turn your back and allow the world to decend into chaos. It requires no strength to self destruct and fall into the hands of addiction. Because that's what evil is. It isn't purpose or personality. It's a disease, one which you actively turn away the cure for. It is failure."

And then she picked up on his earlier words. A certain pain struck her heart as she heard the sentence flow from his mouth. How he truly cared for her, regardless of who she may remind him of. But she had to push aside such feelings. Especially for what she had to say next.

"And too bad I can't say the same for you. Unfortunately I only agreed to join this pack because I was too exhausted to turn down familiarity and comfort. Donovan, perhaps, but even he was just a poorly crafted substitute for my husband. And I've brought nothing but shame to my mate's name just by associating you with him."

It wasn't true. A small part of Leigh felt the same. Donovan, who she now viewed as dead, had captured a little piece of her heart all on his own. Very few wolves could make the woman laugh. Truly laugh. And yet Donovan had, quite a few times. He showed her the canyons, ones she missed dearly. They were like a dream. Warm and vibrant. He took her to the wildflower fields, and although they brought back memories filled with pain, they were also reminders of that sweet summer she spent with her family. He took her on a date, they spared, hell, he even called a pack meeting just to introduce her. And she wasted it. She had stood there like an ungrateful bitch who was completely oblivious to the kind gesture that Donovan had created just for her.

Maybe if she had done things differently Aya wouldn't have died. Maybe if she hadn't given Donovan advice about their beef with Ursus, he wouldn't have spoken to Merrick. If he hadn't spoken to Merrick, perhaps they wouldn't have had to leave the canyons. Then he would have never met Dorus. And Aya never would have been murdered. Maybe, in one universe, Aya could have avoided the incident that broke her paw all together just from luck.

Maybe maybe maybe!!!

She could taste the metalic blood dribbling down her throat again. In all the frustration she had punched her still healing tongue. An old habit, one that she thought she had given up a long time ago. She never meant to hurt herself, it was just a way to avoid hurting others.

Don't cry, don't cry! Don't cry you pathetic bitch! Don't let this pathetic wolf bring tears to your eyes. You're better than this. Or maybe you aren't. Maybe you're just as stupid and weak and braindead, and... fuck, those all mean the same thing. Maybe you're just like Kynareth!

And then everything came to a halt. With a deep breath, Leigh kept herself calm and collected. Pumpkin eyes remained focus on her alpha, she spoke once more.

"There will be a day where you will lie helplessly on the verge of death. Blood spilling from your wounds. I will be there, standing over you with nothing but disappointment across my face. And yet I will not kill you. I will help you to your feet, nurse you back to health, bring you food and keep your company. Then I'll throw you right back to the dogs, because a sick man like you is too dangerous to let roam freely."

She knew her words would leave the wolf confused. So the woman explained further with vemon spilling from her lips.

"But why would I help you only to let you die? Because right before the light leaves your eyes, I want you to see the face of a wolf who you failed to corrupt. I want you to see a wolf you never got to fuck."