Broken Antler Fen PeachPuff

Eljay listened as Wraen mentioned leadership some more in detail. When she mentioned Penn and Jackalope, Eljay wondered who the latter was. The name didn't ring any bells for him, which instantly roused his curiosity. It couldn't be a forgotten sibling, then; was it another long lost uncle, then, perhaps, like Uncle Colt had been..? What was he doing here, now? It wasn't the subject at hand though, so Eljay decided to mentally note the existence of this Blackthorn and he nodded silently through what Wraen said.

He was soon distracted, anyway, when Wraen said — after a very astute thought of how Eljay pictured a certain type of wolf when he thought of what a leader looked like — that she would like to hear him speak up more often. Eljay smiled awkwardly, not very good at taking a compliment. Uh, thanks, Wraen, he said humbly, not sure where to file the compliment but neither wanting to outright decline it. He'd often felt it wasn't good enough, whatever he said. Would it really be different here, with even more strangers..?

At Wraen's words — did you feel used? — Eljay initially shook his head. Well, the truth was, he had felt used, but it was only a part of it. I... He hesitated, as if unsure whether he could tell Wraen everything or perhaps simply not knowing what to say or how to say it. A bit, I guess. It wasn't why I had to leave, though. I just felt like I... Like I'd get crushed, if — if I stayed there. Like they would just need more and more of me until there wasn't anything left of me. I was just tired and stressed all the time, and then it was as if something just... I don't know, burst? And I couldn't. Just the thought of having to go back there and take care of them made me feel like... Well, I don't know, like I physically couldn't manage that? Eljay wasn't sure how else to describe it, so instead of trying some more, he just shrugged and gave up. His face was tense, as if he was afraid that Wraen would judge him for it, perhaps. These were her friends too, after all; and in a way, Eljay felt as if he had once more failed at being strong enough to simply live life and do what was expected of him.