Broken Antler Fen It's the awful, lonely secret of the dead-boy's heart.

I'd allow this and much more, if it meant I could see my kids. He remarks quickly to her, unaware that he is mirroring the tone of her own voice in the heat of the moment.

He knew deep down that he was lying. He was being contrarian on purpose; wanting to defend Towhee and his family even though they'd kept him segregated from them. Even though they might fear him. Another thought entered Reyes' mind then: She could have told them all kinds of things to turn them against me. It nearly took the wind right out of him.

Going back is all that I've wanted. Seeing them, being their father, whatever that meant, as he hadn't yet been given the chance to do anything fatherly with them, having missed their formative time. But if she's taught them to fear me then what? I show up, make an ass of myself for her amusement, play the fool at the bottom of the ladder while my kids learn to hate me.

He didn't want that. The negativity was getting ahold of Reyes now and he couldn't help the doubt that seeped through, knowing the struggle of being fatherless himself, and how much he hated the very thought of Firefly as he matured. Whose to say history wouldn't repeat itself?