Moonspear sturmfahrt

set for after the hydra thread!

After they'd spoken to their daughter about her upcoming season, presumably, Charon made sure to take @Amekaze apart for a moment. He took her away first, far away from the scents that filled his nostrils, to a ledge overlooking the lands east of their mountain. Despite being out of Hydra's sight and scents Charon still felt the weight of reproduction burden him. Amekaze knew this, he knew, but there was no harm in reminding her of it again now that their time was running out slowly. She was growing older, whether she admitted it or not, and maybe if nature would not come to them there was time left now to change that.

He did not waste time to make his intentions clear: Do you want children this year? He needed to know it, needed to hear her say 'yes'. Almost breathlessly he waited to hear the words; words of betrayal or the words he needed to hear, prepared for either but hoping with all his heart for the latter.

From this ledge, her sights went for the horizon, but it was Charon's presence keeping her focus. She didn't really want to have this conversation, despite the necessity. It had been much easier to blow it off and make it wait back in the dead of winter when there had been no rush. Now with her youngest litter a year officially, maybe now he had some solid ground to stand on about this with her, even if it wasn't anything absolute for her yet. Her first litter came late in the summer, even, and even before that it had not taken her much to just forego the cycle entirely--case in point being all of her time at the Sunspire where she had never bothered to take any interest in rearing anyone's young, not even her own.

If I knew that I could, with certainty, yes I would, she sighed, although she felt half resigned to the matter. She loved all of her offspring dearly, clear past the deepest corners of her heart even if they were stressful early on and downright miserable to grow before that. It was watching them grow into individuals, very pieces of him and her shaped by the mountain they chose, that had been able to captivate her and somehow make it all worthwhile in the end (once they weeded out the weak early on, and only the like-minded ones seemed able to flourish once they grew).

What she wanted was only part of it. But I cannot force heat into happening, no matter if I want it or not. she added, in her defense, that this was not always up to her and there was another will above her own that she must bow to, of nature and time itself. She couldn't see all the reasons, or the answers there always. Maybe there weren't any, even, but all she knew was that there would be no puppies of hers without a season to start things off, and she felt so such signs at all.

Charon knew that Amekaze wasn't eager to speak of this. His jaw clenched when she replied, giving him words that didn't answer his question. She said she would if she could; but for as long as she was not in heat, that was easy to say. Maybe she could not because she would not -- using the same logic, that too was an option. He frowned, the look on his face sceptic as he listened to her words, her defence, almost, against his allegations -- just a question.

But then, maybe she was right and it wasn't really just a question. You didn't answer the fucking question, Charon hissed, hackles pricking up in irritation as his patience thinned. Fuck logic. Do you WANT more children? He just need to hear her say yes.

She had come here knowing his patience was thin, and that his need was great enough to keep driving for this point. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his hackles rise and angled him a cautionary look. Now she was more guarded with her words as she considered them carefully; he was going to be that short about it, then, so she would go ahead and give this wasp nest a little jostle back. I do believe I did, she said, her nose lifting but not raising a hair of her own. It was in more words than he wanted, true, but hadn't that been clear enough? That was her answer. Or are you not hearing any answer besides yes and only yes? It was his eyesight that suffered after his last fight, not his ears as well, right?

Knowing very well she wouldn't have long to get a word in after that, she shifted her stance and stared him back down more openly now. She was annoyed he would try to separate her from logic, and didn't take the time to scowl about that properly since she had to cut him off before he could snap back. But, listen: I do. Given the chance, I would have more, and you would know first, she said, firm, and hoping this was making it simple enough for him with a short sigh. That had always been how it was to her and she was peeved over needing to justify it now like this, and his bad attitude wasn't appreciated either. Granted, she understood his impatience to some degree, but the fact of how soon she put more children on the ground was not her only, singular focus.

Of course he would not have any answer than yes to the question. It wasn't a complex question. It was a simple question, and she was prancing and dancing around the subject as if it was some sort of science. Yes, they couldn't force nature, but it was very clear from everything -- from the way she spoke about it as if it did not matter much to her now, to how she handled Hydra's heat -- that Amekaze's 'yes' was not ringing as clearly as he wanted it to.

He listened to what she had to say but still all the facts were in her disadvantage. All she said was muted by those facts, by what had all happened and not happened so far. And Hydra? It is the first time she has gone into heat. You would have slaughtered any female going into heat on the mountain before. He thought briefly of Althaia... ... Is it really just because she is your daughter that you would allow her her season so freely, or is there more? He squinted his eyes suspiciously at Ame, as if she was a suspect in a murder investigation. As if he wasn't entirely sure if she was loyal to his whims anymore, or as if he wasn't too sure if she knew more than he did.

You have to try harder.

Charon, who knew a thing or two about nature but very little about reproduction, did not realise how unfair this request was of her. He honestly felt that she had some matter of control in this all and that she was partly unwilling, or at the very least not trying hard enough, not caring enough about this.

Simply so, she didn't have what he wanted right now since she couldn't drop everything and conjure forth his newest offspring. She knew it wasn't happening right now, and not when it would. If it could, or wouldn't. She didn't know, and stressing over the point certainly wasn't helping. No amount of telling him anything was doing well to make a dent in his arguments against her though, and she was swiftly not appreciating how much like an interrogation this was turning.

Her eyes narrowed when he brought Hydra into it, which had only just begun to contend, but he suspected more? She gave a small curl to her lips back first. More? Like what? she snipped. None others have even come close to earning the right to it, yes. Following herself, it had become clear that it was Hydra after that, always. She walks a very fine line with this—would you rather I chase her off teeth first like all the other undeserving morons? she edged back, especially when it was not even settled in full yet and already it had him bothered him to bring it up now. Ame didn't like it either, too new and given where she newly lacked so far.. it wasn't easy to accept. Had he kept his sound mind on, she might have liked to hear his thoughts on it, but this was telling her enough.

Answering first with a low scoff and a darker glare, she really didn't care for his last remark any either. He didn't understand and she didn't want to waste patience making it happen. You do not understand, she said, subtly shifting herself when she let the edges of her teeth show in a silent snarl. Is that all that matters to you right now? He was so greedy for lives that didn't even exist that he seemed willing to overlook her.

More? Like what? Like you not wanting to or being able to anymore. It was out before he realised it. Charon looked shocked at his own words for a moment, a silence fallen between them. As for chasing Hydra off for her heat... Charon shook his head -- of course not. That much was clear from his face. Maybe if not Amekaze, then Hydra could further their lineage. But she she lacked a deserving mate. And that would not still the stirring in his loins that had awakened with even fuller force since he had picked up his daughter's scent. It was perhaps that he did not wish to admit, even to himself, that it was her scent that drove him mad up the walls right now, that lead to this argument: to, rather than facing facts, using that tension and aggression building up in him to somehow contribute to a goal. Letting it out on Amekaze because it was better to fight with her over a -- in his eyes -- valid concern than admit it was his own daughter that awakened his desires to procreate anew. The thought alone disgusted him.

Amekaze's snarls did not help to settle his mood. Yes! he blurted out before he realised. Flustered, he continued: No! Of course it's not all, but it's a valid concern, is it not? You're not get any younger -- what I mean to say is -- Fuck it, Ame, is it that weird for you, that hard to believe, that I want to fuck you and raise more children with you? The hell do you want me to say? I love you, damn it, and I want more. She had always been on his page on this. What had changed? Charon looked at her, agitated, confused, annoyed. He just wanted his Queen back. The one who would never allow her daughter to breed or be in season at all before she herself had.

He might have looked shocked to say it, but she didn't find it any better to hear quite like that, and she narrowed her eyes at him. Honestly there were times when she didn't want to deal with it anymore, not this, or the prospect for pups harassing her, all tolling away at her body, especially when she remembered all the bad times that came along with too, despite the good. These were not all, and why she did still hold out for any hope of a chance, because she did cherish them in the end and they were always an important mark upon her life. 

And since he didn't want her chasing Hydra off, then she supposed he knew the alternatives without her needing to say. If a bloody fight erupted over it, then so be it. If Hydra's season was let to run its course, then that was what he must deal with--repercussions and all. If something else? All the same. She hoped he might remember this, and understand what not making her go could mean for them.

His back then forth of an answer kept her silent, and his words to follow slanted her ears out. Dividing between her growing dismay and outright frustration, she could feel her muscles getting tense as he made her restless about all of these subjects anyway. What if she couldn't? Or didn't. If this wait already caused this much backlash, she didn't really want to know. It is a valid concern, and I get that, she seethed, more irritation beginning to seep in after his accusations just because of what she lacked for him right now. But the constant pressing of the matter, doubts, and interrogation is irritating as hell when I have less control over having more pups for you than you seem to think, she said with a click to her teeth to punctuate. It all boiled down to feeling no stirring of the season and none of those hormonal shifts that made it possible, so until there was, she could not answer his wants with new life.

Plus, he made her face head-on everything she would rather not--all those possibilities of why not, and whatever else could go wrong thanks to it--all reminders of her mortality, even if distantly, sometimes.

When she said that she had no control over her season Charon thought 'liar!' but before they got there other things went horribly wrong already. Constant pressing and interrogating made him feel insulted as well as blamed for things he hadn't done. True, he'd sent Speedy and Zamilla after her, but only for her sake -- for their sake -- and he'd told them not to tell her he'd sent them so that wasn't really on him regardless. Everyone just cared about this matter.

I did none of that! I asked you once before, and now that time is running out and the scent of our daughter's upcoming heat fills my nostrils instead of yours I asked you again. You're being hysteric and exaggerating about what is my valid concern now, Charon shrieked, clearly stomped on his dick now. I just think if there is a way, we should do it. Right?? He looked at Amekaze with a clear face of 'right??', searching for confirmation so that he at least knew they were still on the same page, despite their differences on the details.

Above it all, she was annoyed and wondering if there would be any redeeming this situation as she felt it spiraling quick towards worse. Despite every mention of the matter not all coming from him, true, she found her patience thin towards his direct approaches already scarce after every poke and prod of it preceding his. Then when he came along with such impatience, her shutdown came quickly and she just didn't want to hear it.

You are being hysteric, she growled back, utterly unappreciative of such an accusation towards her, and had only raised her hackles when his voice rose into a shriek after mentioning his strife over Hydra's season again and not hers again. She narrowed her eyes darkly, and took that as a good indication for her. Calm the fuck down, stop accusing me of shit, and maybe, for just a second, consider I may have my own valid concerns too--especially if you are planning to shriek like a brat about it, she was looking at one of those very concerns now, and he just kept becoming a bigger one by the second.

I know it is not what you want, she grated back, a newly creeping chill as she fought against just leaving him and his tantrum to be. But, against what was perhaps her better judgement tickling at her feet to ghost on this entire situation, she'd asked as she leveled him with another long look and huffed What if?

There was a flash of indignation in his face when she accused him of being hysteric. There was a moment between the insults where Ame said something that made him think -- what valid concerns?? Was he right and was she sabotaging this?? -- but before he had a chance to react to it she was calling him a brat. And anyone that'd ever fought with Charon knew that he hated being insulted. It seemed with Ame's patience running out a friendly solution to the argument was out of the question.

She sounded almost reasonable again when she said "what if" to his last suggestion. Charon was still visibly seething; he clenched his jaw and his gaze was hard. But he also didn't really want this. Young Charon would've stormed off long ago. But older Charon said, after a moment of thought, his voice still strained by the anger he was holding in: What if another female carries the pups, and you raise them as their mother? It did not matter who it was, to him, (well, maybe not his daughter) because she would not be the mother; Ame would be.

By this point, she could not care less if her words rankled him further. Ame wanted it to sting if he was going to nasty like that, and she believed this was her being generous on the understanding for his little fit anyway. The slow flick to her tail suggested her impatience, but she was listening, and soon thinking, despite the perplexed scrunch she felt her expression shift into.

Why would I want to mother some other's whelps? I do not have some unsatisfied compulsion to be just anyone's mother, especially to no blood of my own, she growled back, evidently willing enough to think about the details long enough to not be very fond of most of them at face value. At least the ones she could come up with. Who would even be remotely worth that to me? she asked, clipped, because she had her disgustingly high standards and a possessive heart at her core that he knew about but chose to forego in favor of his own.. needs.

No matter from where, how could any such litter even measure up to her own to her? Ame had daughters and sons already, striking, beautiful ones. At best, others would only be destined to a life well beneath them, where even cubs that Hydra, Lyra, or even faraway Alya may bear would be more related to her than them. Incensed as she were by the conversation, the dark alpha couldn't begin to imagine ever loving them the same.. not when they weren't.. hers--even if they could be Charon's in part yes, but that wasn't helping her enough at the moment now when she would much rather just throttle him until he dropped this and not deal with any more obnoxious nonsense than what she had already weathered--not nurture his kids he had to have with some other random bitch, just so he could get his rocks off.

Right now, to her, this only sounded like an awfully convenient workaround for him where she still had to be at least miserable enough in dealing with puppies she didn't want or have the courtesy to even birth herself.. but she had to wonder what he might have to say for himself. Who the fuck would he have in mind for that? She hated it on principle, assuming meant someone else's heat (or did he forget about Hydra's already), their pregnancy, then so forth--all draws on their attention and resources that she didn't like because Charon was desperate for more, more, more.

'why would I want to mother some other's whelps?' Charon felt like leaving in that instant and never coming back. She knew, and yet she would say such a thing. Blood drained from his face and his frown grew deeper, though he was not as angry as before.

Do you think I was just some other's whelp to my parents? he asked as he looked at her. Our blood is strong, but the way we raise is stronger. That is what matters. I'm not a son of Ragnar by blood, but no one can deny I'm one of his strongest sons. I'm his son, and they would be yours. Maybe in her family it was not normal to adopt, maybe that was why she didn't understand the concept, or maybe she was just jealous to see Charon impregnate another.

Who, then? There was only one that had been around long. Maybe not a very strong one, but a trustworthy one. Yet Charon knew better than to throw her name in the middle of this conversation, when Ame did not even grasp the concept yet.

Think about it. He searched for her eyes again, suddenly calm. There was still something bristling under the skin, and a trigger would easily be made, but he also wanted this really badly, and if she didn't... To him, adoptive children would've been enough -- let alone children that were actually his.

She didn't appreciate his return; although she did not have the clearest picture of his upbringing, or better yet what came before it, she could guess with pretty good odds that his parents had been more generous than she would be. How many orphaned strays had she taken in all these years? Exactly. You were orphaned, it was a bit different, she edged back. Plus, she had always guessed his parents to be close to those who ended up raising Charon anyway. That wasn't a bond she shared with many right now either, and she didn't want his offspring, whoever they may be half of too, forced onto her and hers where no matter how well they raised them, there would always be that little fact that just didn't quite set well with her.

Flattening her ears down well, she disagreed, because to her, blood mattered. It always had even sometimes it hadn't been enough to keep it all well and good, but in the end, she would trust her blood above the rest since when everyone else failed, they didn't. Not always. It was a delicate balance. Blood does matter to me, though.. she grated back, still not at her full stop. It is not something I can just take lightly. What if they would always be beneath my own because of that, even if just a little less--why should I need that for you? she said, obviously still very annoyed and doubting a real answer to that, but she would think--and not because he told her to, which she hoped he would do too. He had given her very little choice, but not only was she bound to be harsher than ever before thanks to all this, she couldn't guarantee the chain reaction to come in their older offspring. Considering some of the natures at play there, it was hard to look forward to any such possibility.

His newly settled calm pissed her off too, like he had found his little loophole through her with this and she didn't like that. And what else--are you bringing me the mother's head, too? Or what is the deal there? I do not want to deal with someone's squalling, pissing whelps just because of you while they go on free and merry, but again, who is supposed to be worth that to me to want to put up with their shitty little kids? she snarled, only half serious but keen to exaggerate if it was ever going to make him see her side of the argument here, or even what was wrong here. She tolerated those bad parts because they were hers, and the thought of going through that for Charon's bastards because he wanted it wasn't leaving her a good place.

She didn't need to be a full-time parent to neonates, or at all honestly. She had done her time, she hated the thought of it exceptionally right now courtesy of him, and she would probably only kill puppies at the first sleepness night at this point--she was feeling irritated enough.

Amekaze thought it was different, but to Charon it wasn't different at all. To think that Amekaze would have let him die if she had been the one to choose whether to adopt him or let him rot in the wilds brought chills to his already pretty cold heart at this point. He tried to keep calm and explain his points once more but it felt as if she just spat on his points repeatedly.

Of course blood mattered to Charon, but it was easy enough for him to say knowing that it'd be his own blood. All in all he felt that it all came down to Amekaze not wanting it because she was selfish and didn't want anyone to have anything if she couldn't have it. Well, she should've thought of that before deciding to cancel on the season this year. He wanted pups, and the reason that the season called him more strongly this year than previous was perhaps because they were getting older. He pegged it mostly on Amekaze's age, but in truth, he too was not the youngest anymore and he wanted to leave behind a legacy, something big. He'd always known he was destined for greatness, and here he stood, long-time Alpha of this mountain but what else? What was next? What would he do? How could he make sure that wolves in years, decades, centuries to come would speak his name still, whisper it on dark nights and speak of him as a great hero? What could he do?

Oh, come on! he snarled when she kept sarcastically responding to it all. Is this a big joke to you? Because I'm serious and trying to fucking talk to you! I've explained all I can to you, but you're just being a shriveled up bitch about it. He bared his teeth, probably to match her warning ones. He was seething now, and no longer holding himself back, beyond reason. Your head is clouded and maybe it's because you're too old for all of this that you feel no one should be allowed to have anything because you can't. Or maybe you're just a bitter old -- He didn't even know what. Charon took a step back, the scent of Hydra's upcoming heat still hot on his nostrils and not wanting to give in to it, and he shook his head. Well, fuck you right now. I can't be here during this. She might not understand, but he didn't wait to explain. He needed to get out before all of the hormones would make him explode entirely. Charon cast her one last surly glance -- probably looking a little like his teen son right now -- before he turned away and started to run, eager to get out from under all these hormones, needing to run and flee. Hurt, frustrated, and feeling misunderstood.

She didn't care enough to change her mind, and his details weren't good enough for her, neither was his constant insistence that it was her head that was foggy while she believed the opposite. He was acting all shook up over this from far too early on and she was left to deflect, now with added harshness once pushed that she felt wholly justified in. 

Leaving his insult's end blank, she snarled, more toothily than before. Fuck off with this! I see you continue to miss any of my points and not answer anything to actually help, instead only acting like a shitty brat yourself. Why the hell do I need to subject myself more pups, again? she grated before his tirade gained any more ground. It never had to be no one but her let to breed, but only the right someone, and for the right reasons. Here and now, Hydra was the only one she had in the running for the cause, which obviously didn't work for him because it couldn't (well, shouldn't) involve his dick--and Ame was out of sympathy for that; Hydra's offspring would at least be related to her, too.

He was so pissed off about Hydra's potential possibilities first, and then to turn it around and think that she should let some other litter go on freely without much of her input considered as well so he could get what he wanted? Ame was downright insulted that he would be against their family like that for his own selfish needs, as if misunderstanding and disrespecting her this badly wasn't enough. Why are the offspring we have not good enough for you? she gnashed her teeth at him and watched him go, not expecting any answer, but overcome with a growing sense of good fucking riddance as he fled.

It was probably a good thing that he was already on his way out by the time the last words were said, or there may've been a physical confrontation. Now Charon was already with his back turned and so he decided to just keep on running; away from this, away from Hydra's scent, and away from unreasonable Amekaze. He ran for the only place he knew to go, desperately in need of a way out of all of this.