Jade Fern Grove sunshine riptide, you came in like a wave when I was feeling alright

Forward dated to this evening

The boy had gone further than usual on his hunt, practicing excuses to give Lennon in his head. We have more to hunt for now, of course it will take longer, he reasoned with himself. It was true enough, but Ali knew full well it wasn't the real reason he was out so far.

He was overwhelmed, to put it lightly. The return of his sister, a chance encounter with his niece, Engel-- and Lennon's pretty new friend. Bitterness rose in his throat-- what a joke. Now he was cornered, trapped here; he couldn't leave. Not with his family members here, not with his attachment to Korei... and not with how hopelessly in love he was with Lennon. Running was no longer an option for him, and it felt unfair, cruel even.
Whenever Alarian experienced any hurt in the past up until now, he ran. And this? This felt a lot like being pinned under a boulder, immobilized and helpless to fight or flee in the face of an onslaught of pain. The worst part, he thought, was that he likely deserved it; memories of a certain red wolf prodded at him, reminding him of the look on Lennon's face when he saw him. He still wasn't entirely certain why Lennon reacted that way, but he did know his companion was being distant again.
Yet so sweet with their new companion.

It's because she's a she! A voice chimed in helpfully in the back of Alarian's mind. Normally he might have shrugged it off, but now he embraced it. Maybe Lennon found him disgusting-- maybe that was why he had reacted so badly to Engel. Maybe he had realized the intent behind Alarian's closeness finally, and was sending a message by bringing Xahi.
He shivered a bit, pausing his trek through the forest when he realized how cold he was. The weather had been so harsh and biting lately, and his coat was thin. Ali remembered then, a bit mournfully, that he had wanted to curl up next to Lennon last night when the cold had turned him to a shivering blob of exhaustion. But he hadn't been able to get up the nerve, and he doubted he could with anything else either.

Alarian had been particularly distant lately and Lennon felt hurt? First, he goes and sleeps with that ugly old man, and now he completely avoided him at all costs? He worried it had something to do with Xahi - did he not like her? A part of him feared that Ali didn't actually love him and felt guilty for lying. Either way, Lennon wasn't going to be left in the dark, he was going to find out what was going on - he wasn't going to waste his feelings or time when something could be so easily figured out. 

He'd learned from his past mistakes, and when Alarian went off to "hunt" he pursued after. Of course, he lagged behind, unable to keep up with the quick, petite figure. When the wolf was finally in sight, he barked lowly not wanting to startle his companion. The male decided to just be blunt and get it over with, he took a deep breath and took a few slow steps closer.  "What's going on, Alarian?" 

His heart felt a flood of worry and fear, what if he really didn't love him? Lennon still hadn't deciphered his feelings towards Ali, or even realize they could've been anything more than a friendship. Yet, his jealousy and fear was evident. Why? He really had no idea.

When Lennon approached him, the boy stood still, staring. He always seemed to know when Ali needed him, and he was always there.
It made him feel guilty for avoiding his companion. And when words broke the silence, he moved forward and put his nose to Lennon's cheek. He couldn't help it, despite all the hurt he was feeling. Something about Lennon always drew him in, but-- then earlier memories came back and he pulled away.
I'm confused. The boy admitted in a whisper. About you-- us.

Lennon didn’t understand, what did he mean? Was Alarian fearing that their companionship was faltering? ”Wh- What do you mean?” The dark boy was nothing but oblivious to the obvious connection between him and the smaller wolf. He tilted his head to the side, and worry gripped his expression. Did Ali want to leave? There was no way he would let that happen, he couldn’t lose someone like her again. Alarian’s touch comforted him slightly, and he returned the favor with a gentle nudge.

Well, Lennon wasn't making this any easier. Ali paused for a moment, uncertain of how to respond.
I... Lennon... The boy swallowed hard and looked away, trying to hide fresh tears beginning to well up in his eyes. I think we meant different things when we said we loved each other.

A sinking feeling accompanied Alarian’s words - he didn’t love him. Although seeing his friend about to cry, his own worry dissipated and he pushed his side into him, placing his head over the others in hopes to comfort. ”Do you not love me?” It was okay if Alarian didn’t, he held no regret in his honesty and only wished it hadn’t upset Ali so much.

He laughed. First it was small, like hiccups-- and then he couldn't contain it. That was the conclusion Lennon had come to? Really?
That's not what I meant, Lennon, you beautiful, dense man. Ali touched his nose to Lennon's cheek for the briefest moment. He took a breath, preparing to try again to convey his feelings. I'm in love with you.

He turned his face away again, trying to keep the small amount of composure he had found. I know it's hopeless-- ridiculous, even. I'm not good enough for someone like you, but... I just can't help loving you.

For a moment he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why his heart fluttered at the realization. He didn’t understand why his chest, ears, and cheeks grew so hot. He didn’t understand why his pulse was suddenly ten times quicker than before. Until the puzzle pieces began to connect, forming the undeniable conclusion that Lennon loved him more than a friend. That was why he was so jealous of Engel.

”Am I gay?” He blurted out in confusion, before realizing how absolutely insensitive his response was and attempted to make up for it. Lennon used his muzzle to shift Alarian’s face towards his own. They’re golden gazes locked on to one another, and he embraced the moment silently. ”I- I didn’t realize it before, but you’re not just a friend to me, Alarian. This is really new to me, I just... No, it’s not hopeless.”

Ali resisted the urge to snort in amusement at Lennon's small outburst. All amusement was forgotten, however, when he felt his companion's muzzle against him-- the touch sent sparks through his skin, melted away the hurt confusion from earlier. Then he began to speak, and slowly the boy's eyes widened.

You're serious? Alarian didn't wait for a response. He pressed himself against Lennon softly, curling into the other the way he wished he could every night.
It wasn't the outcome he had expected from this meeting, but you'd never catch this boy complaining. In hindsight, Ali realized he had been overreacting just a little. But he would make up for it, as best as he could.
He nuzzled into his companion affectionately. I love you, Lennon.

”I love you, too.” Lennon whispered, his eyes closed with complete serenity. He embraced his companion, swaying slowly to the song playing in his head. Lennon then cooed the lyrics.

”Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die”

His words spoke nothing but truth, once Lennon loved something he never stopped. He still loved her, he still loved his past friends, he will still love Alarian no matter what the future held.

There was no denying Lennon was incredibly romantic. It felt too good to be true, like a fairytale-- to be here, tucked in the embrace of his handsome knight (how could he not see Lennon that way?) with the most beautiful song floating around him. Ali couldn't remember feeling so loved, so safe; funny that he had thought this several times since meeting his companions.

He stayed pressed against Lennon for a time, eventually taking to affectionately grooming the other’s chest and unhurt shoulder. Alarian decided then that, though he wished this moment could last forever, he would make sure there were many more like this. He would make sure Lennon knew he was loved.
After all, Ali couldn't risk his companion ever, ever thinking he didn't love him again. Because, in truth, he loved him so much it hurt sometimes. The best kind of hurt, he thought.

It was so foreign yet familiar at the same time. It was clear that every love wasn’t the same, nor did they didn’t feel the same. He knew enough, though, to spot love when it was before him. In hidden truth, he was scared. He feared that he would repeat history and commit the same mistakes he had before. He chuffed almost silently, realizing how similar both him and her was when it came to violence, they weren’t for it but the moment it threatened them or another they would fight than run. It was admirable in some aspect, and terrifying in the other. 

He started to hum his song, slowly opening his eyes and gazing down upon Alarian with a sleepy smile. 

”And I love them.” He sung quietly, before giving the other a quick lick on the cheek. 

He did, he really did.