Jade Fern Grove mea maxima culpa

not the same. she wanted to scream it. she grits her teeth, and the dream-like sense is gone. "it was all I ever had. my whole life, and it's gone." the names run through her head. grayday, aviana, shale, faye, catori. many more besides, and now she's alone. she didn't want to be. purely, selfishly, she wanted him and in that not to be alone. she wanted to take him, Sunny, even Aviana, bring them all back to the plateau and try to find whatever happiness they'd had there. 

but she could never regain the past. it would be childish to try. his apology is met with silence, and she does not think he reasonably could expect her to reply. "what now?" she doesn't know why she asks it, exactly. will they meet her, unearth old sins, and part again? will he wander ever onward and she live evermore in the Hollow? she doesn't want that. perhaps he does.