Neverwinter Forest I'm not gonna sleep anymore

for @Valencia

She stumbled through many different emotions each day, sometimes settling on acceptance and sometimes overcome with anger. Today, she had mostly just felt sad; it was her least favorite because it made it hard for her to go about her daily routines. At least if she was angry, she had excess energy. But when she was sad, she found it difficult to even patrol. Still, she forced herself to go through the motions, trying to push herself into a better functioning mindset. She was not one to mope around or feel sorry for herself, even when her brain was telling her that was all it could handle. She ignored the pull to find somewhere dark and secluded to sleep the day away.

Instead, she moved slowly along the borders, trying to focus on what she was doing and not on the negative thoughts the continuously beat at her. If she went on with her business, eventually she would feel a little better; she knew that for sure, and she held on to that promise as she pushed herself to keep moving.

Lenny was doing better, she thought. It was truly the first time she'd dealt with death like that in any capacity - of a body so twisted - and it was the first time she'd dug a grave. She was less grieving and more shaken, she assumed, because she had no right to grieve for the lost wolf. After all, she'd barely known him. 

The mood around the territory was down - that much was for sure, and Lenny didn't do well with that. Perhaps the very best thing she could do, aside from the constant guard duty and making sure things were safe and okay around the forest, was to be a distraction.

Her itchy paws were taking her on another round through the territory, protective of this newfound family she'd come to be in, when she spotted a familiar form. The white girl - Simmik, Mal had called her - who'd had such a violent reaction to Matty's death. Lenny picked up her pace to catch up, letting out a soft woof in greeting. 

"Hey," she began with a friendly smile. "Simmik, right?"

She heard the greeting sound from behind her and stopped, looking over her shoulder to see who her new company was. It was the woman from the other day, the one who had offered to dig Matty's grave. She winced internally at the reminder of what she was trying so hard not to think about today. 

Hey, she said quietly, remaining in place to offer her packmate a chance to catch up. When she had, Simmik began to walk again. I'm sorry, I don't think I've heard your name yet, she said next. She had seen her in passing a few times but had never learned her name unfortunately.

"Lenny," the girl replied, falling into step beside the younger wolf. Not touching, but close - offering the proximity. Just because they didn't know one another didn't mean that Valencia couldn't offer comfort. Because judging from her response to Matty's death, he'd been close to her. 

Silvered eyes scanned over the white wolf as they walked, but her nose was out for danger, keeping an eye out along the border and brushing against the trees to deposit scent. "Don't worry about it - I haven't been here for too long," she told her with a slow wag of her tail. "I just haven't had the chance to talk to you yet. Thought maybe you could use a friend."

She nodded, committing the other woman's name to memory. Oh, uh, thanks, she said awkwardly. What she really wanted was to be alone, but she knew that wasn't really what she needed. Besides, Lenny was just trying to help, and Simmik didn't want to seem like an asshole. She at least tried to tone that part of her personality down around packmates, especially when they were trying to be nice. 

Sorry, she said after a few moments of what felt to her like an awkward silence. I don't really have much to say right now. Normally she would have questions or something, but her brain was foggy and she was honestly trying not to just take off across the borders and find somewhere to be alone. She knew being alone would only allow her to sulk and fixate on how shitty she felt today.

"We don't have to talk," Lenny assured with a small smile, tail swaying slowly at her hocks. Her brain worked for a moment before she spoke again, turning to face the white-furred girl. "How about a spar then?" she invited. Use her as a punching bag. Take out some of that frustration and those feelings.

A wave of relief she hadn't really been expecting washed over her at Lenny's assurance that she wasn't obligated to talk. When she felt like this, it was such a drain on her energy to try and come up with responses to things or talk about what was bothering her. Thanks she said first. Then to the offer for a spar, some of the sadness left her expression. She actually liked the sound of that; it would take her mind off of everything and help her get more practice. I'd like that, she said, stopping to turn and face her packmate. She tried to focus her mind on only this and remember everything Aiolos had taught her. Then, since this wasn't a real fight, she waited for Lenny to get ready rather than just throwing her weight into her.

Lenny rolled a 7 here

That was a relief - she thought it might've been weird to offer to fight a grieving wolf, so Simmik agreeing drew a soft sigh from her chest. This was a mock spar, so she wouldn't be too serious, but still did want to do well. The girl set her stance and tensed, then lunged forward and tried to use her weight to knock the white wolf to the ground.

simmik HP: 15
rolled 8 = 5 damage

She noticed the way Lenny braced but didn't realize until it was too late why she was doing it. She noted that for next time, though: if she saw that again, she would know it was a tell that they were about to lunge. As it was, she hadn't been prepared this time, and her opponent's weight slammed into her, knocking her back a few steps and making her rear legs buckle and force her half to the ground. She slid back some, and tried to slow her momentum by digging her paws into the ground, but it did little to help. As quickly as she could, she collected herself and threw her own weight into Lenny, attempting to knock her down this time. She remembered what Aiolos had instructed her to do, and kept her head down, hoping to bring all the force of her weight and speed to one point.

lenny hp: 15
roll: 1 = 0 damage

Lenny had miscalculated, which was no surprise, and though she landed a good blow Simmik was able to hit her like a rhino, causing the large wolf to tumble backward and take the full brunt of the white one's weight. It hurt, yeah, but it wasn't too bad - her paw just slipped on the wet ground when she tried to get up, so her next move would feel like nothing, just an uncomfortable headbutt to the shoulder that drew a laugh from the young Archer.

simmik HP: 15
rolled 8 = 5 damage

Her first hit was successful. She rammed into her packmate, careful not to put as much force into it as she would in a real fight. Her opponent slid back but quickly recovered and came back for a second hit. Lenny's head connected with her shoulder, but she had slipped just before the contact, so it didn't do much. She laughed a little too with her but quickly saw her opportunity. Rearing up, she pushed herself forward, hoping to pin Lenny to the ground.

Lenny's HP: 10
rolled 3 = 3 damage

Lenny was glad to make the white wolf laugh, even if it was by the direct result of her own folly. The other girl rose up to try to pin her, and she did succeed in knocking Lenny to the ground. With a grunt, the black wolf pushed herself up off the ground in an attempt to slam most of her weight into Simmik's gut.

simmik HP: 12
rolled 6 = 5 damage

She managed to get Lenny to the ground but was unable to pin her; the actual act of doing so was more difficult than it seemed, something she would also note for later. Her failure gave the other woman the chance to counter, and before Simmik was able to react, she felt her weight against her abdomen. The hit pushed her back, her snowy paws making divots in the ground as she tried to stop herself from moving. Once she had stopped, she launched herself forward from her awkward, half-sitting position, attempting to knock Lenny to the ground again. She wasn't sure she could pin her this time either, but she could at least try and tire her out by continuously knocking her down.

lenny's hp: 5
rolled 2 = 3 damage

Lenny hardly had time to recover, getting back to her feet, when Simmik hit her again. It took her off guard, and she winced, feeling herself get tossed backward. The white wolf got on top of her again, and Lenny did a barrel roll, attempting to knock Simmik off her feet so that she could get back up.

simmik HP: 9
rolled 3 = 3 damage

She did manage to knock her down, but Lenny immediately rolled, causing Simmik to lose her balance and move forward with her before landing on the ground herself. As quickly as she could manage, she leapt back up and turned to face Lenny. She spent only a few moments trying to decide what she would do next, and then she jumped forward again, jaws aimed for her scruff so that she could lock on and pull her down.

Lenny's HP: 2
Rolled 8 = 5 damage

It was a close fight - they kept up with one another well, save for the one misstep on Lenny's part earlier. The large black wolf tensed, ready for Simmik to run in and latch hold of her scruff, a smirk on her maw. She was getting a little bit tired, and was ready for this to end soon. So when the white wolf grabbed onto her, Lenny started to buck like a bull, trying to use her shoulders and haunches to batter the younger wolf up a bit.

simmik HP: 4
rolled 7 = 5

Her hit connected, and her jaws clung to the other woman's scruff even as she started to buck. But the force was eventually too much for Simmik, and she was forced to let go, hitting the ground with a roll and landing on her back. She was stunned for a few seconds, but fought to get her focus back on the fight. She jumped up and lunged forward again, trying not to give Lenny any indication what she was doing. He goal was to barrel into her chest again and hopefully finally pin her to the ground.

Simmik wins! ^^

Lenny really needed to work on her stamina, she found. She was out of breath and tired, and a little bit sore, so when Simmik came at her this time, she kind of just... bonelessly flopped beneath the white wolf, splayed out comically and tipping her head back with a laugh. "That was awesome!" she announced, beaming up at the younger female. "You're a really good fighter, Simmik." Impressively good, even.

<3

Simmik was finally able to pin her packmate, and she looked down at her, a panting smile on her face. She laughed when Lenny did, nodding her agreement that it had been awesome. She shifted off the other woman so that she could get up, smiling at the compliment that was offered. Thanks, she replied. So are you; that was pretty close, she added. I'm up for a spar any time...or to just hang out or something. Simmik could easily see them becoming friends. They both seemed equally concerned with becoming guardians for the pack, so that was something they had in common already. And, uh, thanks for taking my mind off everything. She was most thankful for that.

Fade with your next post?

Lenny blinked in surprise at the invitation, and her face softened, smile growing just a bit. "Thanks," she responded, getting to her feet and shaking out her inky fur. "Same here. The sparring thing, or the hanging out. It'd be nice to have more friends here." Because, while she loved her pack, she didn't think she was super close with many of the wolves here. Kyr, of course, and Yao, and Mal but he was really busy all the time. So this would be nice. 

"Oh, don't mention it," she assured, nudging the younger wolf with her muzzle. "You took my mind off of stuff, too. So it's mutual." A pause, before she continued. "If you ever need to talk, you can talk to me. I'll listen." 

Turning, Lenny gestured back toward the territory. "Wanna grab a bite to eat?" she offered, tilting her head to the side with a small smile.

Simmik agreed—it would be nice to have more friends here. She considered Mal a friend but it would be nice to be closer with the other members too. 

She knew Matty's death had affected the entire pack, so she was happy to help distract Lenny. When she offered to talk whenever Simmik needed it, she offered a small smile. Thanks. 

She had definitely worked up an appetite, so at Lenny's invitation, she nodded and answered: Yeah, let's go. Then she headed off towards the next cache, feeling lighter than she had in days.