Stone Circle Love means never having to say you're sorry

She was Beta. Holy crap on a stick. Steph roamed through the forest of white trees, still a little in shock that her mother had chosen her to be a leader. Maybe she saw something in Steph that Steph couldn't see in herself. She was sure going to try and look, though. She didn't think her mother would promote her if she didn't think she was worthy. And knowing that, Steph would do everything she could to not fail.

First things first. Socialize. No one seemed particularly upset by her promotion, thought she could tell most were sad over the departure of some of their pack mates. Steph hoped Mawk like the fact that the Warrior stone was named after his mate, but she knew it would not ease the pain. 

Her focus at the moment was on @Greyback. They had not really interacted since she lashed out at him, and she wanted to rectify that. She tipped her head back and howled for him, not urgent, but she wanted him to come. She wasn't sure exactly what she was going to say, but maybe it would come to her when she seen him.

Throwing back his head to respond to the lax call, Greyback let out a long echoing howl before turning to the direction it came from. He was surprised that Steph wanted to see him after their last talk, and wondered what she could want. Valette had announced her as Beta recently, and he was sure she would be busy with that.

Coming out of the growth of the trees, he approached her with a smile. He wasn't sure what to say to say to her, but it appeared that neither did she. "Steph, I-" He paused as he talked, his mind trying to form words towards her. Their last encounter was still fresh in his mind. "I wan't to apologize."

It was still fresh in her mind, too. But, she didn't blame Greyback like she had in the heat of the moment. She now blamed herself. So, when his answering call rang out, she felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. He hadn't shown any ill will towards her, but she still didn't know if he was upset with her. 

Her tail wagged briefly when he came into view, and she opened her mouth to talk, but he began first. She shook her head quickly. No, you don't need to. I was in the wrong, you weren't, she admitted. One of the first things I should have realized is that it can be really difficult to open up about things, and I shouldn't get upset when someone doesn't want to. I should have respected your right not to talk about it. When she looked back on it, she had reacted out of frustration, but she knew it was wrong of her to treat him like that. He had been trying to help, and it was obvious to her later on that she had hit a sore spot.

Greyback noticed the tail wag of Steph and grew more relaxed, his tail following shortly after. He was glad she was no longer angry about before, and even went as far as to apologize. Steph seemed to be growing up more and more each time he saw her, and it made his chest fill with warmth. He was glad she was dependable and doing her best to fit her position.

"It's quite alright," He replied, nearing closer only to stop in front of her. Both Merrit and his daughter had shied away from his affection, and he wondered if Steph would. He slowly bent down to press his nose to the crown of her head before pulling back, making sure to give space unless she wasn't accepting. "You've grown a lot Steph, I know you do not need me to be proud of you- but I am. You're shaping up to be a fantastic beta. I was not ready to share that part of my past with you before, but I am now if you are still wanting and willing to listen."

Greyback assured her it was alright, and her ears folded softly as his kissed her head. She gave him a smile. She wasn't used to such affection except from her mother, but she didn't shy away from it, either. The only father-figure she ever had in her life was Murdock, even if she wasn't his biological child. After he died, no one had filled the void. Ezekiel had come and gone, but the moment Steph decided to open up to him, to let him in, he had left. She had not attempted to fill that spot since.

Her smile widened when Greyback said he was proud of her. No, she didn't need him to say it, but it sure made her heart swell when he did. While they their bumps along the road, she couldn't help but want to know what he thought of her in that moment. She cared about his opinion. But she wasn't confident enough to say that.

She nodded after a moment. If you want to talk, of course I want to listen, she responded. He had her full attention as she sat back on her haunches.

Greyback let out a small chuckle and smiled, sitting down slowly and patting the ground with his massive paw softly, asking the young beta to sit with him. When she joined him, he would let out a sigh of relief to calm his  frazzled nerves. It was never an easy subject to talk about but he was willing to open up to Steph and show he cared.

"Long ago I had a mate named Venicy," He began, closing his eyes and lifting his head upwards to the sky, the warmth of the suns rays trickling through the white trees and settling on his face, reminding him almost of the warmth of her presence. "Within the year I knew her she taught me all about the kindness of the land and how special everything was from the smallest blade of grass to the large pine trees," He looked around at Steph as he talked, lifting his paw to point towards the towering white trees and the dried grass that stuck out from the ground's crevices.

"She also gave us two beautiful daughters, but soon after she fell ill and a sickness took her similar to Illecebra's...And while I loved my two daughters with all my heart, I could not sire them and returned them to Venicy's home pack." Something clamped in Greyback's throat, tempting to suffocate him and he swallowed thickly around it as he fell still. He didn't dare to look at Steph with weary eyes for hear of her judging him. He looked at the ground instead.

"They were to be raised by the Alpha's leading pair under the assumption they were the true heirs while I was to leave." he continued. "I was not allowed to be with them since I had no blood connections to any of the high ranks...So I left. I couldn't bear to watch my own pups grow up." He fell silent again to compose himself as tears prickled at the corner of his eyes.

"Im sure you have met Ira," He forced out, his voice strained. "She is one of my daughters."

Steph was quiet as Greyback composed himself. She was an active listener as he told her of his mate, and how she had died shortly after giving birth to their children. He left them with the Alpha's to raise, and then in turn was made to leave since he had no blood connection. Her face showed her shock to learn that Ira was one of his daughters. I didn't know she was your daughter, she admitted.

Steph was torn. She had been abandoned by her father, and as far as she knew it was his own choice. He had never said otherwise. She didn't care enough to resent him, but she could understand those that might. She was thoughtful a moment, trying to put herself in Greyback's position. She wanted to ask more question, but she feared that would make her choose a side, and that isn't what she wanted to do. She felt for Ira, but she knew Greyback to be a caring wolf. He seemed to have done what he thought was best for his children at the time. 

That sounds like it was very hard on you, she settled on saying. She hadn't noticed the friction between Greyback and Ira, mostly because she had rarely seen them together. Do you spend time with Ira now? she asked.

Sorry for the late reply! Had to focus on IRL stuff but my activity should be back to normal!

As Steph spoke he turned his ear to her, listening to her words. Though by the long pause he guessed she was thinking on what to say. He didn't mind, Greyback knew the topic was heavy. He was glad Steph didn't sound angry through, and let out a soft sigh before shaking his head running his forepaw through his face to wipe the tears. He shouldn't be crying.

"It's still very hard," he replied, looking at Steph. He forced a smile on his face, willing the sadness within him down. Of all the wolves, Steph didn't need to worry about his well being. He was strong, he was old, he shouldn't be relying on others. When she asked about Ira he only shook his head more. "Im afraid not. She is still unwilling to forgive...for now. I can accept that though,"

Greyback admitted that it was still hard on him, and part of her wished she could take that away from him. But, she knew this was not something that she could fix. It was interesting for her to compare Greyback and her father, Ezekiel. The very important difference was that Greyback had suffered a loss, and had allowed another mating pair to raise his children. Ira had grown up with both a mother and a father. As far as Steph knew, Ezekiel didn't have a good reason to abandon her and her siblings. 

Give her time, she said softly. I know it might sound weird, but it's good that she feels upset. It might be a negative feeling for you, but it means she cares enough to feel that, she explained. I don't even feel that for my father, she confessed. He could come and go, and I wouldn't give him another thought. She wasn't sure if that looked bad on her, but it was how she felt. Or, in this case, didn't feel. Have you told her what you told me? Steph asked. Ira may feel too hurt to even listen, so she couldn't blame Greyback if he hadn't.

Greyback nodded to Steph's suggestion. "She knows, i've told her everything yet she is still having trouble coming to terms with it." He said solemnly, thinking about what Steph said in terms of Ira caring enough. Did she care, was that true? He supposed she did, she wouldn't feel anger towards him if she didn't care...or maybe she just couldn't help but have anger. Greyback didn't know; he let out another sigh.

"I think you're right steph, I will give her time...Thank you." He continued to smile but looked to the over cast sky. The once sunny weather was not gray, filled with clouds that promised the fall of rain. He was curious as to what Steph meant by her father. Valette had only told him a little about Ezekiel, but he doubted she wanted to talk about it.

"Enough about me though, this is rather depressing, isnt it?" He chuckled, voice still a little hoarse. "What about you? How has the new rank been treating you?"

So, Ira knew the Greyback had left her in the care of others. While Steph's father had left her, too, Steph felt Greyback had a good reason. She didn't even know the reason Ezekiel left, only that he had made little effort in the time he came back, and had failed to show up when she was finally willing to speak to him. The only one she had told about that day was her Aunt Nanook. Steph had been upset for a very short time, got it over, and rarely thought of the male since. The only reason she did today was to compare and contrast her experience to what Greyback and Ira were going through.

Steph was still hopeful that the anger Ira held for her Dad might one day blossom into something else. Only time would tell. She returned his smile, hoping she had at least quelled his worries a bit. She gave an understanding smile when he wanted to change the subject, and gladly went along with it. Well, it's alright... I still feel... undeserving, I guess, but I'm working on it, she confided in him. She did realize that the promotion had given her a newfound reason to pull herself out of her depression. She focused more on others, and less on herself, which made her feel better, and work harder. I like that I'm so focused on doing right by this that I'm not stuck in my head all the time now, she added.

Greyback tilted his head, waiting for Steph to reply as she ran through her thoughts. He listened to her confess it was alright, though felt a little undeserving. "I suppose it always feels that way a new rank is bestowed," he hummed. Having a new sense of responsibility is always scary, but it also gives the chance for the other to bloom.

"Don't worry, Steph," He added, his brows pinched into a slightly worried expression though he was still smiling. "You're doing great, you'll continue to. I'm glad this is working out for you," He remembered back on their fight, the skittishness of Steph's personality and the fire that seemed to burn within her- is that what she meant by being in her own head? He looked puzzled for a second, thinking. "And if you ever need help, i'll be here."

She felt better when Greyback told her that was a normal feeling for someone in a new position. She was glad she wasn't the only one who felt like this, and it gave her hope that she could work up to feeling deserving. I'm glad to hear that, she responded. 

She smiled at his positive words. Thank you. She tilted her head a bit when he said he would be there for her. Have you ever thought about being a Counselor? she asked him. It seemed like it came natural to him.

Greyback was glad when he saw a bit of ease settle on the young girl's face. He nodded when she responded.

Counselor? Greyback knew it pertained to his mastery goal but didn't see any value in it. He remembered thinking about it many moons ago but ultimately set it aside to achieve his other goals. He did not need to be a counselor in order to help others, he would always be around.

He shook his head. "I thought about it," He replied. "But I think advisor and medic is where my heart lays." He looked upwards once again, keeping his eyes on the sky line. The sun would be setting soon, and there was much to do around the territory. He would need to make his round around the meadow, visit the stones for a nightly solace, and then go find Ira.

The elder wolf turned to Steph with a smile, slowly rising to his paws and giving his fur a shake. "It seems to be getting late, I must be going now." He spoke softly. He did not want to leave Steph but he had other duties.

It seemed Greyback had already chosen his trades, a fact which didn't surprise Steph. He had always seemed to know who he was and what he was doing, at least in her eyes. We could certainly use a medic, she replied, thinking of Nikai first, who had been working towards the same trade, and then Stark, who could have used someone to help him. 

She dipped her head in agreement. Sure, I'll see you later, she responded lightly, not offended that he needed to go. She would most likely do some patrols before finding a spot to sleep.