Neverwinter Forest divine wisdom

all welcome! tags for reference.

their altar had become overgrown with indignation; weeds crept over the face of unturned stone, their spindly limbs clinging to this holy site as some martyr might their god. offerings left through the peak of summer were now rotted, sour, filling the air with the thick scent of decay. there was no one here left to worship their creator, no one to hear her cries.


she’d chosen to distance herself from the others, liliana, due to some feeling of otherness. death followed their family; members came and went, either in body or spirit, each of their absences leaving a hole where once there was—


did she love any of them? moreover, did they love her? liliana carefully mouthed at some of the thicker overgrowth, then gently brushed it toward the ground. to her side was the whelping den where @Miriam had once nursed her twins, one now missing and unlikely to be found. yana couldn’t bring herself to mourn asmoses's (@Rasalas) absence any longer.


instead, she would turn to the goddess, hoping to receive a drink of divine wisdom.

It wasn't like either child staying with him seemed much wanting for company. Which was sad to Mal, if he could have had a happy family, all together, all joyous and communal, would have been ideal. But he had to be strong. He couldn't go looking because he'd been hurt and then Cupid -- well, he was still trying to figure  everything out, and still wasn't in a state to go off adventuring, especially not when it meant Caerus would be left alone. And so Miriam had gone to look for their son. It wasn't ideal but.. It was probably best. Didn't mean he had to like any of this.

Mal didn't understand what Miriam believed. It was too abstract to him -- it wasn't something he could actually put a finger on, so he'd been able to understand. But whatever, he wouldn't go trying to trample on whatever it was if he could help it. Similarly, he wasn't sure what Liliana was doing, but he watched a moment from afar before stepping forward, tail wagging behind him lightly, speaking quietly, What are you doing? Can I help? He'd been reserved for these last couple weeks.

she shuddered, some shallow breath being forced through slightly parted lips. it’s abba, she reminded herself, you know him. liliana turned a side-glance over her shoulder and smiled, only enough to show the tips of her earth-stained teeth. cleaning, came her response, you can help.


liliana didn’t know whether her father believed, but knew that she wanted him to, and could convince herself that he did until it was confirmed otherwise. for now, she would allow him to touch their sacred space. i’m supposed to take better care of this place, she told him, a forlorn look now spread across her face, it’s my fault that it looks so bad. 


prayer taught her that maintaining the prayer space was a work to the divine masculine, to god; the goddess’s tendency to grow and spread could easily overcome the balance between them, which likely explained why he had been so silent in recent days. liliana thought about this in silence while continuing to pull away rotted leaves.

At very least he could clear the obvious, the things she might not be able to reach because she was still small. So as she spoke, Mal moved closer and examined the space a bit closer. Couldn't have her feeling down about this though. I'm sure it's ok since you're here to take care of it now. Things haven't been exactly normal recently. And you can always ask me to help if you need it -- especially while your mother is gone. His smile was still soft. If it meant something to her, he'd certainly help, because that was the right thing to do, both as a packmate and as her father.

He reached over to pull a thin downed branch out  of the tangle of the top of the bush. It had meshed itself in with its fellow plant pretty well, so it took a bit of tugging to come free. Once it did, he headed a yard or two away to set it down, at least for now, looking back to Liliana for her approval.

her father shared empty words of encouragement that didn’t help to soothe her anymore than the bristling autumn winds. she paused, taking a moment to watch him carry away some rotting branch. is amma going to come back? yana asked, voice low and chilled, moses didn’t come back.


not expecting an immediate response, or any response at all given her opinion of mal, liliana went back to her tending of the altar. different thoughts continued to stream through her mind despite her active work to keep them out.


finally, after not being able to hold it in any longer, liliana asked, are you going to get rid of me, too? because mal was the common denominator, wasn’t he? neverwinter was his pack; all of these women were his wives; and the children, to their best knowledge, had all blossomed from his seed.


surely, then, that meant that he was the reason everyone kept disappearing. and without her mother or brother, yana knew that her time was drawing near.

He couldn't answer immediately thanks to the branch. She certainly will, because she went to go look for Asmoses to make sure you two could be together again. She knows we're all waiting for her to come back. The only reason I'm not the one out there is because I got hurt. Both physically and mentally (thanks, Cupid) but we'll leave out that little differentiation.  That and Miriam's last disappearance was more unexpected. The whole thing was kind of a disaster, wasn't it?

But what she said next did hurt. This wasn't what he wanted for his children. How did he ever give that impression? He basically dropped what he was doing and taking a step towards his daughter, his expression clearly matching his words, No! I love you and you're always welcome here, and I'm always here for you. I built this pack for all my family, so we could all have a nice home. He reached out to nuzzle her, but given Simmik's reactions to touch, he was more cautious and ready to pull back if she seemed to not like it. He was a very physically affectionate wolf, so it also made him even more pissed off at the man who'd hurt them each time he was reminded that his ability to show his love to his child and to his friend had been crippled because the effects of the attacks still lingered. He didn't want them to feel that way. He would do anything to try to try to make things better, but he didn't know how.

suddenly, liliana began to panic. it was a silent panic that might have been undetectable, but it continued to grow larger with each word her father spoke. you’re lying, she stated, i’m not waiting for her anymore. how can she know something that’s not true? her hardened glare settled heavily against mal’s frown. 


miriam’s decision to search for asmoses had been painful for many reasons, the worst of which was this: liliana was still healing when her mother left. the physical wounds were gone, but she still hurt, and the only person she trusted enough to confide in was nowhere to be found.


nagging, aching panic reached its peak as mal finished his second plea. liliana’s gaze softened for only a moment as her throat tightened around unspoken words and she flinched away from mal’s touch. did i do something wrong? she asked, tears slowly beginning to well, i don’t want to be alone anymore.

So harsh. And yet he couldn't touch her. Why, why why had this happened to his family? But he was here. He was metaphorically reaching out to her, wishing he could do something to fix the world. You've done nothing wrong. Sometimes the world out there is cruel, and it's not because of anything you did -- sometimes it's because of other people, sometimes it's just, well.. Life. And it's bad. But we'll get through stuff together. Miriam will be back, she loves you. He was certain of it. And honestly he wasn't sure if he could deal with another of his children's parents vanishing from the world. It would be too much.

You're not alone, and you don't have to be. I'm here. Caerus is here -- okay, not here here, but he's still missing his other dad. A brief pause as he waffled on whether or not to say what he was going to say before deciding to go on with it, And maybe you could talk to Simmik? She's always been a good friend. I think she would be able to relate. For more than one reason. And if somehow putting the pair of them together could help them both, please let it be a thing.

sometimes the world out there is cruel — liliana softened her stiff posture and stepped closer to mal, but kept some small distance between them. she listened to his entire explanation before offering a simple sigh in response. 

miriam probably did love liliana, and she likely hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. liliana didn’t understand that, though; to her, all things were black and white.

caerus doesn’t like me, yana whispered, nobody does. her siblings were either too young to have formed an opinion of her, or they were missing. mal tried to be a good father, but even his efforts sometimes lacked in liliana’s eyes.

simmik’s name caught liliana’s immediate attention as her eyes shot upward. what did she have to talk to mal’s friend about? maybe, she conceded with a shrug, but i want to talk here first. she motioned toward the altar, still unaware of her father’s differing beliefs.

He felt like he was repeating himself, which he was, but sometimes you kind of have to do to make a point, You are loved -- by me, your mother, your brother wherever he might be, and others in the pack who have met you. I'm sure all your little siblings would love to play and get to know you better, too. But I know it's really hard when family is missing. It's not something anyone should have to go through. Mal was keenly familiar with all that. Siblings, parents, the whole lot. He wanted to hug her, to have Miriam and Asmoses appear here now, overjoyed to see her. As if the world would let that be.

But about Caerus specifically, I think Caerus does like you. He's just still really sad, and I think it's just time that'll make him feel better. I'm sure you've noticed how quiet he is in the evenings -- he misses his other dad. If Asmoses had been the twin who wasn't missing, would he have tolerated the three of them staying together while Miriam was gone? Mal wasn't sure. Last time was an emergency. But right now it still seemed likely the wounds were too raw for him to suggest that the pair talk through a parent being not present when one of the MIA was almost certainly returning under her own power.

He took what she said last as sort of wishing to change the subject or just plain buzz off, Is there any more you want me to help with?

sending this to the archive.
let me know if you want to revive!

that’s not my fault, she said, he’s sad, but that doesn’t make it okay to be mean. yana felt many different things which kept her from being friendly, or even kind; unlike her brother, she chose to withdraw herself, instead of forcing other people to feel those things with her.

she didn’t understand that neither coping mechanism made sense, or could be productive, but thought that isolation, at the very least, worked better. 

liliana looked up at mal with wide, anxious eyes, but ultimately dismissed him with a certain head-shake. she didn’t care if he stuck around for a while, or immediately disappeared; as far as yana was concerned, their conversation had ended.

He tried, at least. He wanted them to be happy, he wanted them to get along, but there were certain things that there wasn't much of a way for him to magic them into being, True, but I don't think he's trying to be. It was just hard, overall. For everyone.

A sigh. A pause. Yeah. He should just go, give her her space, I'm gonna go catch us all some dinner, okay? Just gimme a howl if you need more help. It was about all he could offer when a hug wouldn't do anything. He was always here for his children. Even if he didn't always know what to do. He watched her a moment longer and then started off on his hunt.