Redtail Rise whistles and cricket song

ooc; Hoping for @Ashlar but @Avicus would also be very, very interesting. I think I should get a thread with both eventually so either - or anyone - is welcome!

Set a few days/week ago - looking to stay in the middle of Avicus' heat.

He was restless. The urge to move and seek hummed in his bones. He took to pacing and, when that did not satisfy, wandering. He should have been along the border but the scent in the air brought him inward. Avicus' heat permeated the territory. He would sometimes lose it and that came with both relief and anxiety. It was always soon to cross his path again, however - she was active within the pack territory, as was right. 

He hated the conflict.

He could feel his body pushing him to find her. Deep-rooted instincts linked to his sex pulled and yanked at his insides and burned at him when he refused. It left him irritated and raw, like an exposed nerve. He could silence it, maybe, if he sought her and she let him. But he did not want to and that is where the frustration leeched itself into his chest and kept him from rest.

His mind and his body fought one another as he moved slowly through the young foliage, head low, ears flat. His hackles stood on end but he didn't notice - all of him felt wound tight like a bowstring. Though he did not know himself enough to understand it he was, in fact, miserable.

Ashlar too was distracted, but he still continued on with a cheerful affect. He had a job to do, things to collect, borders to walk and recruits to find. All the while something bothered him, but it wasn't enough (yet) to drive him to action.

He was finishing a circle of the territory when he passed by Ratio and noticed that something seemed to be wrong. Ashlar paused uncertainly, noticing immediately the tension that seemed to roil off of him. Did something happen?

He stepped forward with ears splayed, head tilted questioningly. Ashlar didn't want to startle him or push him to answer, but if something was wrong, perhaps he could help.

Another scent came to him, this one more welcome.

He looked up from the ground as Ashlar approached. His tail swished once, although the friendly wag was at odds with the tension in his body. Seeing Ashlar caused something to bubble in his stomach. It mixed with his feelings about Avicus and he felt a sudden urge to touch the chocolate and silver male. He wanted to reach out his muzzle and run it along his small frame, along his spine and neck. Crimson eyes blinked and narrowed. He was not confused about this compulsion - if he was honest with himself, he had felt it before - but he was uncomfortable with it. It caused a sinking, swooping feeling in his gut and he shoved it violently away, burying it down. He took a step back and drew himself up from his miserable stance, pulling the reins of control tight.

He saw the tilt of question in Ashlar's posture. He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "Avicus is in heat." he said and offered no further explanation.

Oh. Ashlar shouldn't have been surprised, that he was the only one feeling conflicted about it. He didn't even fully understand what it was he felt, only that it sat at odds with who he had thought he was. Not enough to change him - only enough for doubt to creep in.

Would Ratio seek to fight for her?

Yeah. Ashlar looked down, not sure what he could add. He had a few questions, but none were really... right. I think... it's.... just, um. It's not for me. His mouth was dry, his voice quiet. He wasn't sure why he admitted this, but he wanted someone to acknowledge it. Maybe to tell him that he was right.

Ashlar's place was not in front. He knew this, and he felt that perhaps Ratio knew this too. Maybe that is why he, too, felt he could bring this up here.

this reads SO DIRTY and was NOT INTENTIONAL I SWEAR but now I am absolutely dying and therefore leaving it

ooc; Didn't seem too dirty to me! Maybe I'm just naive, lol. Although this whole convo is weird for these poor menfolk. 

Ratio wasn't sure what he had been expecting. There was no cure for what he felt, he was pessimistically sure of that. Maybe he should leave for awhile, to clear his head. 

The younger man agreed with him and the silence was awkward for a moment before he continued. It was Ratio's turn to tilt his head. His mind swam, a conflict of emotion wrestling in his stomach. Curiosity - Ashlar felt that it wasn't for him? What did that mean? Relief and the guilt that followed it. Then...a pang of disappointment. His mind shifted to puppies, the result of this heat if nature had its way. He didn't care that they didn't carry his own blood but something in him was regretful that they wouldn't be Ashlar's either. Ratio cared about puppies only insofar as they were new pack members. No doubt if Avicus had children they would be fierce and maybe Ratio would be tasked with teaching one but...well, he didn't know why but he would have been pleased if they belonged to Ashlar. Less fierce, maybe, but Ratio was secretly okay with the world being less fierce. 

"Oh." he said quietly. "Why is that?" he followed up his curiosity, ignoring the other two feelings for the moment. He might sit on them later but for now he wanted to know the chocolate male's reasoning. It was only a few moments later that he realized how awkward it was for him to pry in this particular matter and he took a few mental steps backward. "I mean...you don't actually have to tell me. My apologies." he glanced away, clearly embarrassed.

The question came as a genuine and happy surprise. Ashlar looked at him, but he shook his head when he apologized and smiled a little ruefully, mostly gratefully. It's good to talk, he admitted quietly. He'd gotten used to no one asking about the things that were on his mind.

There wasn't much of a way to explain this, but he would try his best. There's others. They're stronger, better, and closer. I don't want to fight. And I think she would want me to. He couldn't say it for sure, but from the way Tulimaq looked at him, and from the way the rest had acted lately... they sought to earn it. He really was happy she'd found so many fighters to help her, but Avicus knew from the beginning what she was getting from him.

She should have someone who will. He added at the end, tilting his head at Ratio and wondering if the other man understood that feeling. Did he want to fight for her? If he did, maybe he could win... and Ashlar wouldn't think less of him for it.

He was pleased that Ashlar was not offended by his prying. In fact, he was happy to talk. That was good for Ratio because the shadowy male wanted to know, more and more, what Ashlar thought and what he felt. He knew that was dangerous but he had begun ignoring those warnings when the two of them had spoken after the fox incident and he continued ignoring them now. He was starting to feel...something other than dull. It had started when he'd found Prophet but this was a different kind of feeling. There was a brightness to both but they were far different shades.

"Better." he repeated, his voice clipped. It wasn't reproach but his displeasure with the word was obvious, his eyes narrowing for a moment. He would not argue that the others - everyone he had met - was stronger, at least physically. They were built for it and even though Ratio outweighed Tulimaq there was still great strength to the man. He was not one to be trifled with and Ratio often sought to avoid him. 

Ratio wasn't sure how he felt about fighting for Avicus. His head turned and he stared at nothing for several moments while he thought. Ashlar would have to fight? That was not fair. Ashlar was extremely valuable but it was not for the reasons that the rest of them were. That made him rare...like a precious metal, if Ratio had known about such things. Gold in an ocean of endless tin. 

"That doesn't make sense. Your value is not in your teeth but you are certainly not without value." he said quietly. He turned back to the chocolate male. His hackles still stood on end, but his body was less taut as he relaxed ever slowly in his presence. "Perhaps she does want them to fight for her. I think that is a waste if that means you are an exclusion." he was honest and his left ear flicked awkwardly Was he saying too much? "As for me, I am like you - it's not for me. I could fight, probably, but I don't want to. I don't want it."

Ashlar didn't know what to do with the compliment. He smiled but also felt a little uncomfortable, as if the words did not quite fit. He'd heard similar sentiments but never said so straightforward, just like that. And never with that much confidence. It wasn't that he minded, or that he did not believe it. He just wasn't sure he deserved this man's merit, and he felt an affectionate bloom at the fact that he'd been given it anyway. It warmed him.

Th-thank you. He stumbled a bit over the word, but his look was pure appreciation. He was probably right, that Avicus knew he would not fight. He might have been able to ask. But he'd stopped himself.

I didn't want to ask her. He admitted. She's my friend. I want her to be happy, but... This was hard. How did he word what he meant?

If I'm ever a dad, I want it to be something else. I don't think she would want what I want. And that's okay. He worked it through carefully, and at the end he smiled again, finding that the words matched what he'd been feeling about this. He would have wanted to be involved and he wasn't sure he would have wanted to share that, especially not with Tulimaq. Now he would be involved, maybe, but it would be different. They were hers and not his. If she told him not to teach, not to speak of war and peace and how they might look for the latter, he could respect her. And their friendship was safer for it.

The chocolate male thanked him and Ratio blinked slowly back, a quiet acknowledgment. He understood the sentiment but there was no need to thank him for stating simple facts. Did Ashlar not know how valuable he was? How special? They were all the same brutish, bullish standard - Avicus clearly had a type when it came to packmates. Ratio didn't dislike or feel any criticism in his heart when it came to his pack. They were his people, he thrived here, but Ashlar was made differently. He was everything they were not and he was in short supply. If anyone should be valued it was the earthy male before him. He was exceptional. 

And he did not know that. 

Ratio would have to show him. He felt himself turn away from that idea - it felt like a need to hide away. That was not in his nature and he didn't enjoy the squirming self-consciousness. It felt almost like fear and made him flighty and nervous. He shoved it down. It did not go willingly. But the alternative - silence - meant that Ashlar would not know...he couldn't let him believe he was less than the rest of them when the opposite was true. It simply wasn't fair.

He told Ratio about pups and his feelings about being a father. Pups were the result of this heat, maybe, and they were easier to focus on. "I wish there were going to be children like you." he said, feeling almost light-headed with the urge to shut his mouth and turn away. "But I understand." Ratio didn't think much of raising babies. It was necessary but it had nothing to do with him. He wouldn't be a father to children of his own but the idea of protecting a child as sensitive and good as Ashlar, of raising it to be what all it could be and not what may have been expected of it in this sea of warriors, made him feel both anxious and warm.

Ashlar wasn't entirely positive, but there was something exceptionally kind in Ratio that warmed him immensely to the man's presence. The bard recognized this contrast in silent tandem with Ratio's own appreciation. He wasn't like the others either, or anyone that Ashlar had met so far. He'd never been complimented with this much care and he wasn't able to respond for a moment. His voice seemed to disappear with the heating of his fur, but it wasn't embarrassment that did it. It was happiness.

He wouldn't have dared to have tried with Tulimaq or Prophet, but there was only one way he could respond to that. Ashlar pressed forward and embraced Ratio with surprising fervor. He was smaller but could still press his shoulder to the man's chest, his cheek to his shoulder.

It was an innocent impulse, but by the end his cheeks burned. I'm glad you're here. It'd be lucky if they were like you too. He was suddenly a little too shy to meet Ratio's gaze in spite of the heartfelt nature of the statement.

Ratio was shocked into stillness as Ashalr pressed close to him. His brain provided him with nothing but static, his gaze blank for several seconds. Prophet and even Avicus were prone to bumping shoulders with him - a new but not unwelcome ritual - but this was not that. Ratio never initiated contact, only accepted it as it came to him. He would never have been so bold as to reach out to Ashlar, even if his muscles ached at him to do so.

He was braver than Ratio. 

Ratio finally returned the affection, his muzzle brushing against the smaller male as he shifted back. He felt the soft fur on his face, the scent in his nose. Avicus' heat and the stress it brought him was temporarily forgotten, but it made him feel reckless. He wanted to hold Ashalr longer, press into him, and run his tongue along his cheek. He felt the urge in his bones, like he would die if he did not act.

Die he would, then, because he kept himself back. The warmth swallowed him and as his eyes found the beautiful amber of Ashlar's, not looking at him, his gaze was soft. He would not chase the man away with his silly, selfish desire for more. This was enough for now - maybe forever, though his heart howled in agony at the thought. Ratio needed space to make this suffocating feeling recede but for now, he did not leave. 

He laughed a breathy, quiet laugh at Ashlar's words. "I...Thank you." he didn't know what else to say. He let the silence settle over him for a moment. He should leave before he got himself into more trouble. He should leave before he said something he could not take back, something more than how great Ashlar was. Worse, he might actually reach out. But he didn't want to leave, his instincts screaming against him at the thought of walking away. 

"Do you...want to patrol? Together." he offered after a moment, unsure of what else he could say to keep them together without choking on his hormones.

Ashlar hadn't had a hug returned like this since he was last home. He closed his eyes and drank it in, feeling comforted by the closeness. It wasn't the same as his family, with the charge that lay beneath it, but it was similar in its pure and affectionate nature.

He looked at Ratio as they parted, his eyes still lit with grateful feeling. He also felt slightly shyer after the embrace and was glad when the other man offered something to do. His tail gave a few enthusiastic movements and he nodded, clearly delighted at the offer.

Yes! Rather than walk, Ashlar smiled playfully, bouncing in a way that invited Ratio to join in for some playful chase. They could run to the borders together, or anywhere else, really. Ashlar was just happy to spend the time.

good to wrap up here if you like! Feel free to reply or just archive <3 we'll have to have another once he's back >:) for the delightful awkward!!!

ooc; Yes! Ratio is going to be very upset that he's been "missing". Looking forward to it!

Ratio felt a hum of happiness at Ashlar's acceptance, pleased to stay with the man a little while longer. The patrol would mean less pressure and his mind could settle. He wouldn't make a mistake or misstep today. Maybe next time, it would be easier to remain in check. Part of him wanted that to be false but he didn't think about it right then.

Ashlar bounded off and Ratio, not quite as playful but happy to show some of his enthusiasm on his sleeves this day, loped after him with his tongue lolled out in a slightly goofy grin. His strife was forgotten for now, an electric feeling in his veins as he followed dutifully after Ashlar.