Broken Boulder pattern evolving, motion insolvent

Her reaction was gentle, and somehow— somehow, that broke him more. He allowed her touch, face heating and eyes stinging until finally the first sob ripped from his throat. Alarian recoiled, then, and sank down to press himself hard against the ground. I love you too, He managed thickly in the moments before another sob tore through him, skin crawling as he considered all that he was and all that he had done.
Did he not deserve everything he had gotten? Shuddering, he drew his forelegs over his face as if to stem the tears. Unbidden, flashes of memories of the last week taunted him; everything he had done that had led him to that situation. Only Eris' question drew him from what seemed much like torturing himself— his eyes snapped to her, wide and frantic.
No— no, Another sob nearly swallowed the words. You can't— we can't— not if we want to stay friendly with Morningside. He's important there— his mate is one of the leaders— and their main leader just died. No one can know about this. The information was given in a desperate rush; she had to understand, there was nothing to be done. And— who would believe me, anyway? Aditya is— he's kind, and charming— and I'm a mess— I didn't even say no.
He huffed out a bitter, hollow laugh, shuddering fiercely now though the sobs had abated. It's— you know, it's not even his fault. I said yes.