The Bracken Woods it's better to burn than to fade away

He shuts up. Each word strips away a new layer of tender flesh; he feels exposed and ugly. Before he can react, the cough startles him— Delight is on his blind side, but he's not really used to having a blind side, so for a beat he freezes. Several thoughts run through his mind— did I imagine that, am I imagining Delight's scent, am I seriously that cra—
"If this one is yours," He realizes Outlander isn't addressing him; he's looking somewhere past him. He sucks in a breath. "I'm sorry."
The words are unexpectedly cutting. He still can't move, even as Outlander walks away; he doesn't watch. Instead he stares at the ground, because looking at the ground, he can't see Outlander or Delight or the forest he once loved that he's turned, bit by bit, into the setting of his most painful nightmares.
It feels like forever before he can turn to look at Delight, and even then, he can't meet his gaze. He stares at his... chest, sort of. No eyes there. Very easy. I'm sorry, He looks at the ground between Delight's paws now, and crumbles again, half-hoping and fully expecting he will be met with anger and barbed words a second time because he knows he deserves it, and maybe it will fix him, maybe if everyone hates him and he hates himself enough he'll finally stop being a fuck-up. I-I'm tired of fucking everything up, and I don't know why I can't just— He swallows hard. You deserve better.
It's the simple truth— and part of why he's been avoiding Delight. He's known this conversation was inevitable, or something like it; if there's a way to ruin something, Alarian will find it, and maybe it's best the silver-eyed boy realizes now that he will only find heartbreak here. Maybe next time he won't change his mind at the last minute. Maybe one day he'll finally fail to evade death.
Or maybe it will be less dramatic than that; maybe he will slowly chip away at Delight as he does with all the things he loves, maybe he will burrow under his skin and make his lover as hollow inside as he is, and he'll hate himself for it but he won't stop because that's what he does. He just hopes Delight won't let him.