Northstar Vale I'm gonna be free & I'm gonna be fine; but baby not tonight

there it comes again; an overwhelming wave of desperation, helplessness, fear, that has her gasp almost audibly. they are 

gone

and she can't find them. she's not good enough to find them, not good enough to be a mother, a friend, because how could she lose them all so quickly? how could she, how did she, deserve to live and breathe air when she'd seen everything she'd loved by burned and lost? but the woman asked a question, and she answered, voice sounding as if it didn't quite come from her own maw. it was too monotonous, firm, held together, and she was coming undone. "no. I am searching - my family is missing." and she had lost them.