Haunted Wood To make myself feel better

Maia had a lot of thinking to do and she found, the more she talked to others about her problems, the less clear the answers were. In the end, she left to think... and she wasn't quite sure why she wound up here.  At first she'd feared these woods, but as the sun began to set and turn the thick, twisted branches a ruddy gold, she found she didn't feel much of anything towards the place except a small, bitter bit of nostalgia.

This was what started it all.  If she hadn't been here, hadn't fallen into the Caldera, then she'd still be off traveling with Wraen and Arcturus elsewhere.  She knew in her heart that she wouldn't have traded what she felt for anything, but it was hard not to look back at how simple things had been then and not be jealous.  Why did being in love have to hurt this much?

She was having trouble sleeping, lately.  She just kept thinking about what she was going to say to him, how this conversation was going to go. I ask him again... he says yes.  He ends up hating it, and we fight nonstop, and he leaves.  He says no... I move.  I never get to know anyone in the Caldera as family and I just always feel like an outsider.  I'm miserable.  Or, worst yet... he says no.  I say no.  We just... don't.

Her eyes welled up thinking about it, and she sat down, back to a tree, and let her tears run free.  It wasn't pretty.

No matter what, someone ends up hurt.  Wraen... I can't.  I can't leave her.  Please don't make me.  She turned and pressed her forehead to the rough bark.  She didn't know why she felt so completely lost at the idea.  They'd parted ways in the past.  But lately... it just....

Time felt shorter.  Terance is dead.  Sarah is gone.  What if I leave and, when I get back, she's gone too?!. Her heart shattered to pieces at the mere thought of it.  It didn't matter that it was only a territory away.  Maia had lost too much.  She couldn't lose this.

The resolve strengthened in her until she knew, without a doubt, what her choice had to be.  She didn't know how to even begin to tell Eljay, and she closed her eyes, trembling at the thought.  He's going to hate me, she whispered, then broke out into silent, heaving sobs against the cold trunk.