Lake Rodney what would you say if i came home now

if this was meant to be for someone else, lmk and I'll get rid of this <3

It had been about a week since Maia had last seen Eljay.  That wasn't long compared to some of their spaces between visits, but it felt like forever when things were the way they were.  It still, however, wasn't long enough for her to get to a better place.

Sorrow fluctuated with guilt and the latter was definitely becoming heavier the longer she left it without going back and sorting things out.  He'd seemed so tired and upset and she'd just kind of bailed on him.  That was a pretty horrible thing to do, but she still couldn't get past the fear that when she got went, things might end.  What if he was too tired and just decided she was more trouble than she was worth?!  What if he finally figured out how selfish and immature and awful she was and just cut his losses and told her to leave?  Maybe that's why he hadn't wanted to talk about where they'd live.  Maybe he'd been getting ready for a breakup and her wanting to move forward made him panic.

He'd said he wanted to live with her, but at this point, Maia's brain was on its own track.  It was such a beautiful day when she woke up that she couldn't help going for a walk, and nerves kicked up her stomach at the very thought of it.  If she went for one then she had no excuse not to swing by the Caldera.  C'mon Maia.  You're already the worst.  Just let it happen.

She felt better a ways in, with the sun finally back and spring actually starting to show up once more.  She even enjoyed it a little... until she hit near where the Caldera was and saw Eljay there.  Immediately she put the brakes on her jog and her mind felt a wash of panic.  I didn't even think about what I was going to say this time.  How am I so stupid?. Oh no oh no... maybe he didn't see... maybe she could still back out.  But she was frozen where she was, caught between wanting to move in and see him and the fear of what he would think of that.