Broken Antler Fen I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet

She was ruining this. This was supposed to be a happy occasion and Ibis was right, but Maia could feel her discomfort and was still unable to force herself to put on the show. Despite her earlier joy, she felt like she had nothing left, and the slightest hit would send her crumbling to dust.

Yeah, okay. She managed to get the words out with some effort, but she held herself back when Ibis came forward to touch her shoulder. A part of her wanted to collapse into her and take the embrace, cry it out and let herself fall apart. But she was starting to recognize that Ibis didn't know what had happened, and Maia wasn't strong enough to be the one to give this news.

She couldn't bear to see Ibis fall apart, not when she couldn't even hold herself together.

Instead she took the coward's way out and disappeared wordlessly back into her den. In the end, this would only make her feel worse, and she'd spend a good part of this time silently choking back sobs. But she couldn't take that step back outside, couldn't even bear to hear the words out loud again, even if she was the one saying them. So she hid and hoped, somehow, someone could do what she couldn't.