Broken Antler Fen stop time

Even knowing him, she'd still expected him to argue with her. It was what she would have done. If he'd said the same thing to her, she'd have insisted that he could do it. That there was no one better. But Eljay asked her why and, if it was even possible, she loved him more than ever. There was special relief in not having to hide behind the shield of positivity and feeling like how you actually felt, even if it seemed stupid, mattered.

I can't do it. She replied, still quietly, though tears did finally begin to gather. I knew she was sick. I knew it, Eljay, and I was just... so caught up with everything else. Everything felt so important, and I didn't want to think about..

She couldn't finish the sentence. She muffled her sobs quickly and it didn't seem to wake any of the kids up, but she probably wouldn't have fully noticed. One - Sylvie or Hymnal, or was it another? - might have snuggled closer. But mostly, here, it was just her and Eljay.

I barely saw her. She could feel how much it was eating her up inside still. She'd felt so guilty about it and so mad at herself, furious for not paying more attention and for brushing it off. Now it was too late and all of the things that had felt so important then just felt insignificant now. She didn't deserve them. She didn't want them.