Lion Head Mesa kareshi

are- are you happy here, satsu? the boy asked.
it seemed a strange question. poignant, in the moment. he must have read the expression on her face, or felt the strain in her voice, to be able to read her so plainly. satsu thought she was well contained in the moment, not realizing how much of an open book she truly was.

even so, she had no immediate answer. his follow-up earned a small sigh.
i only regret that i fell in with the saints in the first place. which was the raw truth of it all. had she not, things would be wholly different. she wouldn't have akashingo or pharaoh or this upcoming marriage; maggie would not be near death, and her own life would not be threatened.

but it doesn't matter. she did not mean to sound defeatist. she was not; her chin raised, a chill embedded in her gaze. what's done is done. i cannot undo my choices.